The Inappropriate Jokes Thread
wow i feel guilty even reading these
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
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Solidarity 9-6347
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my friends and i were almost suspended in middle school for having a 10 page front and back packet of jokes like these
wow i have a lot
i believe the original jews in a car joke was as follows:
how many jews can you fit in a VW bug?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray
why couldn't hellen keller drive?
because she was a woman
why did hellen keller only use one hand to masturbate?
she used the other hand to moan
why don't jewish women wear chastity belts?
because jewish men eat locks
why did god invent the orgasm?
he couldn't wait for the second coming
how do you fit 5 babies in a bucket?
with a blender
how do you get them out?
with doritos
what's worse than 10 babies nailed to 10 trees?
1 baby nailed to 10 trees
what's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
you dont cum on a golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it <--
this one's not really innapropriate but its funny:
where are an elephant's sex organs?
in its feet, because if it steps on you, you're fucked
wow i have a lot
i believe the original jews in a car joke was as follows:
how many jews can you fit in a VW bug?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray
why couldn't hellen keller drive?
because she was a woman
why did hellen keller only use one hand to masturbate?
she used the other hand to moan
why don't jewish women wear chastity belts?
because jewish men eat locks
why did god invent the orgasm?
he couldn't wait for the second coming
how do you fit 5 babies in a bucket?
with a blender
how do you get them out?
with doritos
what's worse than 10 babies nailed to 10 trees?
1 baby nailed to 10 trees
what's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
you dont cum on a golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it <--
this one's not really innapropriate but its funny:
where are an elephant's sex organs?
in its feet, because if it steps on you, you're fucked
<3 Mademoiselle Pamplemousse
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
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Sufjan Stevens
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Axtech
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Wait wait wait... You don't cum on a golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it?
Maybe that's why the folks at the cafeteria were acting so weird...
Maybe that's why the folks at the cafeteria were acting so weird...
- -
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down, I'll find the way to peace and openness.
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down, I'll find the way to peace and openness.
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
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starvingeyes
- Oskar Winner: 2007
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- Joined: 5/8/2002, 3:44 pm
- Location: california's not very far
man, i got's what yo people need:
what do you call a native american on a bike?
bike theif
what's the fastest thing in the world?
a beer truck driving through a native reserve
what's the second fastest thing?
the natives chasing after it
what do you call a black man in a courtroom wearing a three piece suit?
the defendant
what do you call a black girl whose had three abortions?
crime fighter
what do you call a black preacher?
holy shit.
what do you give a dead baby for it's birthday?
a dead puppy
what's the only thing funnier then a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown suit
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing. she's already been told. twice.
what does the man do when his dishwasher breaks down?
he slaps the bitch and tells her to get back to work
what do you call a native american on a bike?
bike theif
what's the fastest thing in the world?
a beer truck driving through a native reserve
what's the second fastest thing?
the natives chasing after it
what do you call a black man in a courtroom wearing a three piece suit?
the defendant
what do you call a black girl whose had three abortions?
crime fighter
what do you call a black preacher?
holy shit.
what do you give a dead baby for it's birthday?
a dead puppy
what's the only thing funnier then a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown suit
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing. she's already been told. twice.
what does the man do when his dishwasher breaks down?
he slaps the bitch and tells her to get back to work
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Axtech
- Oskar Lifetime Achievement Award: 2004
- Posts: 19796
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 5:36 pm
- Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
- Contact:
The last one reminds me of this one:
How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowblower?
Give the bitch a shovel.
- -
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down, I'll find the way to peace and openness.
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down, I'll find the way to peace and openness.
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
-
starseed_10
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 10473
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- Location: 123 fake street
- Contact:
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes?
Nothing.. you've already told her twice.
What is the fastest mammal in the world?
A Ethiopian with a McDonald's Coupon.
What do you do when you wake up and see your TV floating?
Turn on the light and shoot the N***er.
Why did Hellen Keller's Dog run away?
You would too if Your name was 'Baaaahhh.. Maeeh de du.. *studder* maaawwwhhhh' (said in retard voice)
Why shouldn't Blind people sky dive?
Scares the shit out of their dogs.
What's the definition of agony?
A one armed newfie hanging off a cliff with an itchy ass.
that's good for now
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes?
Nothing.. you've already told her twice.
What is the fastest mammal in the world?
A Ethiopian with a McDonald's Coupon.
What do you do when you wake up and see your TV floating?
Turn on the light and shoot the N***er.
Why did Hellen Keller's Dog run away?
You would too if Your name was 'Baaaahhh.. Maeeh de du.. *studder* maaawwwhhhh' (said in retard voice)
Why shouldn't Blind people sky dive?
Scares the shit out of their dogs.
What's the definition of agony?
A one armed newfie hanging off a cliff with an itchy ass.
that's good for now
[glow=red]Fraser[/glow]
[glow=blue]Go Leafs Go![/glow]
[glow=green]~`* . ' C';lo~`gg/e*dS`in~k@` _$ '[/glow]
[glow=blue]Go Leafs Go![/glow]
[glow=green]~`* . ' C';lo~`gg/e*dS`in~k@` _$ '[/glow]
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ihatethunderbay
- Posts: 2244
- Joined: 5/24/2003, 6:05 pm
- Location: Somewhere between Winnipeg and Toronto
LMAO
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
-
starseed_10
- Oskar Winner: 2005
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- Joined: 8/21/2002, 8:31 am
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- Contact:
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Axtech
- Oskar Lifetime Achievement Award: 2004
- Posts: 19796
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 5:36 pm
- Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
- Contact:
ihatethunderbay wrote:How many kids with A.D.D does it take to change a lightbulb?
hey lets go ride bikes.
- -
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down, I'll find the way to peace and openness.
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
Every now and then I fall out into open air just to feel the wind, rain and everything.
And though the hum and sway gets me down, I'll find the way to peace and openness.
"Robbo" - © Alex (happeningfish)...^5 ^5 v v
-
Solidarity 9-6347
- Posts: 1960
- Joined: 3/13/2002, 6:14 pm
- Location: Ann Barbor, MI
- Contact:
this is one my friend came up with:
so there's this truck driver going to deliver a shipment of 300 black bowling balls and he passes this black guy on the road with no shoes. he feels sorry for him so he gives him a ride but he's really dirty so he tells the guy to get in the back. 10 minutes later, the driver comes across another black guy with a broken bike. he feels sorry for this guy too and tells him he can ride in the back of his truck. a little while later, the truck driver misses a weigh station and gets pulled over by a couple of cops. the first cop goes to speak to the driver while the second checks the back. after a few seconds, the second cop runs up to the first screaming "get in the car, we have to get out of here!!!" so they get in the car and speed away. the fist cop asks the second, "what the hell was that about??", to which the second cop says "i found 300 niglet eggs in the back of that truck...two of 'em hatched and one stole a bike"
so there's this truck driver going to deliver a shipment of 300 black bowling balls and he passes this black guy on the road with no shoes. he feels sorry for him so he gives him a ride but he's really dirty so he tells the guy to get in the back. 10 minutes later, the driver comes across another black guy with a broken bike. he feels sorry for this guy too and tells him he can ride in the back of his truck. a little while later, the truck driver misses a weigh station and gets pulled over by a couple of cops. the first cop goes to speak to the driver while the second checks the back. after a few seconds, the second cop runs up to the first screaming "get in the car, we have to get out of here!!!" so they get in the car and speed away. the fist cop asks the second, "what the hell was that about??", to which the second cop says "i found 300 niglet eggs in the back of that truck...two of 'em hatched and one stole a bike"
<3 Mademoiselle Pamplemousse
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
-
superrgirll
- Oskar Winner: 2006
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i've heard that one before.
-lori
she's a fool for the last living rock king
http://www.livejournal.com/~got_to_get_away/
HARDCORE!
she's a fool for the last living rock king
http://www.livejournal.com/~got_to_get_away/
HARDCORE!
Long but good..
A guys is walking down the beach and he sees a girl lying on the beach. As he approaches he notices she's crying. he also notices that she has no legs or arms. He approaches her and asks "what's wrong?" "what's wrong. I have no arms or legs. Ive never experienced the joys of life." "Aw. What did you want to experience." "True love. Like.. I 've never even been hugged." Feeling bad for the girl, the guy sits down and gives her a warm hug. "Aw. that was really nice." "anything else?" "well.. I've never been kissed." Shruging 'what the hell', the guy leans in for a nice warm long kiss. "Wow. That was amazing." Getting up he hears the girl whisper. "You know. I've never been fucked either." Looking back the two exchange long looks in the eyes. smiles grace their lips and the guys leans back down and picks the girl up in his arms, and throws her into the water. laughing he yells "YOUR FUCKED NOW!"
A guys is walking down the beach and he sees a girl lying on the beach. As he approaches he notices she's crying. he also notices that she has no legs or arms. He approaches her and asks "what's wrong?" "what's wrong. I have no arms or legs. Ive never experienced the joys of life." "Aw. What did you want to experience." "True love. Like.. I 've never even been hugged." Feeling bad for the girl, the guy sits down and gives her a warm hug. "Aw. that was really nice." "anything else?" "well.. I've never been kissed." Shruging 'what the hell', the guy leans in for a nice warm long kiss. "Wow. That was amazing." Getting up he hears the girl whisper. "You know. I've never been fucked either." Looking back the two exchange long looks in the eyes. smiles grace their lips and the guys leans back down and picks the girl up in his arms, and throws her into the water. laughing he yells "YOUR FUCKED NOW!"
[glow=red]Fraser[/glow]
[glow=blue]Go Leafs Go![/glow]
[glow=green]~`* . ' C';lo~`gg/e*dS`in~k@` _$ '[/glow]
[glow=blue]Go Leafs Go![/glow]
[glow=green]~`* . ' C';lo~`gg/e*dS`in~k@` _$ '[/glow]
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Solidarity 9-6347
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