6th Album....
madeline was the only girl i dated for longer than a week.
i've only dated five girls total.
hasn't even added up to six months.
need sex!
i've only dated five girls total.
hasn't even added up to six months.
need sex!
we are the brand new beatniks. we are the down and outers.
we are the bleeding hearts, beating syncopated, broken rhythm.
our speed is often break neck. we need to slow it down.
tired of being sleepless. tired of being broken.

we are the bleeding hearts, beating syncopated, broken rhythm.
our speed is often break neck. we need to slow it down.
tired of being sleepless. tired of being broken.
- Sufjan Stevens
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 6738
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 12:25 pm
- Location: Detroit, MI
Emily wrote:4 out of a billion. you really think there is only one person out of a billion for you? now that's just depressing.jeff's right, if it didn't end right, it wasn't meant to be right. or else you're just really stupid.
But I am really stupid. I am the type that is willing to go back and try to make things better. I just never get a chance to try and fix my mistakes. I would do anything to try and talk to Steph again, but she's not willing to speak, so I won't force myself into her life.
Maybe I was meant for Steph, and I just dropped the ball. Who knows? I am not going to obsess over this. If she would give me a chance to talk, she would see that I changed what she hated about me. But if she doesn't, then she doesn't. It's her life.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
Have you ever thought that she might be missing out? It's not just her life, it's your life, too. In the process of trying to make yourself happy, you are just getting farther from your goal.
!EMiLY!
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
- Sufjan Stevens
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 6738
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 12:25 pm
- Location: Detroit, MI
I would like to think that she is missing out by leaving me, but the way she looked when she did it would say otherwise. She smiled when she said we should never speak again. Something like that gets burned into your brain, and as much as I would like to think that she misses something about me, the more I realize I am just fucking with my mind. I take things for what they are, and this is what it is. She doesn't want to see what I am really like anymore, and I have changed. I wish she would speak to me, but I am not going to fight with her about it. If she reads this, then she should get the hint that we need to speak. She won't though.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
I'm not going to ask about the breakup - because it's none of my business and I don't care to know. But there has to be something she misses about you, although she may not show it. If she spent part of her lifetime with you, there had to be reason. You don't just go around spending your life with people you don't care about.
!EMiLY!
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
- Sufjan Stevens
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 6738
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 12:25 pm
- Location: Detroit, MI
You know, you're just putting evil thoughts of me trying to talk to Steph in my head. Stop it, don't encourage me. Silence is preferred in our lack of relationship. 

I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
I never said talk to her - just don't believe that there's nothing about you she misses or that she doesn't care about you. She would have to be totally insensitive to everything in the world if she didn't.
!EMiLY!
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
- Sufjan Stevens
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 6738
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 12:25 pm
- Location: Detroit, MI
No no no, that's Bethany. She just happens to be in a class right now.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
Good Mourning wrote:I would like to think that she is missing out by leaving me, but the way she looked when she did it would say otherwise. She smiled when she said we should never speak again. Something like that gets burned into your brain, and as much as I would like to think that she misses something about me, the more I realize I am just fucking with my mind. I take things for what they are, and this is what it is. She doesn't want to see what I am really like anymore, and I have changed. I wish she would speak to me, but I am not going to fight with her about it. If she reads this, then she should get the hint that we need to speak. She won't though.
people sometimes smile when they are uncomfortable. When somebody tells my something like "my grandmother died yesterday" i say sorry an dno matter how bad i feel, i end up smiling when i say it. its really bad, but i get so uncomfortable that i just smile. so her smiling doesnt mean she was happy about it.
AMINA
Proud Member Of Coutts Cartel
Mullet Maid -Maida Mafia
Back Shirt Launderer-Mazurites
Deputy Inspector of Allergies-Pookie Bregade
Proud Member Of Coutts Cartel
Mullet Maid -Maida Mafia
Back Shirt Launderer-Mazurites
Deputy Inspector of Allergies-Pookie Bregade
Or nervous laughing. Hah. Guidance counselor. I can't even get my life together.
!EMiLY!
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
- starvingeyes
- Oskar Winner: 2007
- Posts: 2009
- Joined: 5/8/2002, 3:44 pm
- Location: california's not very far
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- Posts: 1067
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- Oskar Winner: 2005
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you know i am happy that my three year relationship ended with her cheating on me b/c otherwise i would still be obsessing over her. Alan give it a year then try again, give some time to adjust to what didnt work before. We are young and there are many years ahead to try again maybe just not now.
old school CM'er 4 Life