ClumsyMonkey.net

dear lando.. umm.. i had a question.. i'll get back to you when i remember.

dear lando,

what does one do when they have the worse boss in the world but one does not want to quit their job cause that is the only part of said job they don't like?

signed,
help!

that happened to me!

i tried to stick it out. and was miserable. so i quit.

...then the horrible boss left my old job and now i'm back there again.

and can't wait to quit. again.

boooo.

i've stuck it out for over a year! i was only sticking it out cause in the summer she told me she was leaving in february and i'd have her job. then i found out recently not even by her that she isn't leaving now! so not only am i not free of her but she screwed me out of a promotion! so now, that she's not leaving i can't do it anymore. only so much emotional abuse one can take on a daily basis!

my offer still stands

xjsb125 wrote:Dear Lando,

Where the fuck is my Lando #1 club package that was promised 5 years ago?

I sent them out! REALLY! I wonder why no one got them. Mr. McFeely must've hoarded them and refused to deliver!

Dear Lando,

Do I get a Lando #1 package cause I'm YOUR number 1?

Sincerely,
Laurel




(get it? cause we're dating and you like me! i'm not your pee. that's just gross.)

Dear Laurel,




.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME, ASSHOLE

laurel wrote:Dear Lando,

Do I get a Lando #1 package cause I'm YOUR number 1?

Sincerely,
Laurel




(get it? cause we're dating and you like me! i'm not your pee. that's just gross.)

also, since you're not my number one, you can be my number 2.

i don't like you anymore.

dear lando.. why didnt you tell me to download THIS movie?!?

MOLE MAN!

Dear Lando,

If you were to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

To really do this question justice, one has to research the mime's way of life. So, I took it upon myself to study the writings of Brian P. Cleary. His revolutionary book 'A Lime, A Mime, A Pool of Slime' has transformed the way mimes and the miming artform are looked at throughout the entire world.



Now take for example the Mahāyāna Buddhist Zen saying "If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound?"
and if we apply that to mimes, we should ask "If a mime performs miming in the woods, does he/she make a sound?"

One could say "well it depends on how good his or her skills are!" or "What if they stepped on a twig?" or even "what if they're sick with a bad cough!?"

but we can't factor in a mime's health to solve this question. we know mimes are in top physical condition, far beyond the health of regular athletes such as Olympians.

The flabbiest and most out of shape male mime having a body type like this:


and the most flabby out of shape body type for a female mime has been reported as this:


Alright, so now that we know that there aren't any other factors to consider such as illness or lack of sk... WHAT? you're telling me that second one isn't a girl? That's Carrot Top the prop using comedian? Well what the hell are his props now? Steroids?

anyway as I was saying, the only logical answer to the question of whether or not they make a sound is No. They don't. Mimes live on a metaphysical plane of existence which is a state of consciousness that transcends the known physical universe. Because of this, they're physically incapable of creating or for that matter even hearing sound. Their existence in our physical universe is limited to vision, miming and coin gathering.

So to answer your question about whether or not I'd use a silencer, no I would not, because they wouldn't hear it anyway. Of course, I would never shoot a mime either, because as you can see from the weakest of their specimens, bullets wouldn't have any effect on them anyway, it would probably only make them stronger.

PURE WIN!

...i never knew mimes were so tough!

i always thought they were wimpy and skinny. you proved me wrong!

you could say something nice once in a while about the long post i had to work on...

I really want that book that you found for your post!

So you can learn the ways of the mime and try to pick up one of the flabbier specimens like the male mime I posted above?

I like words!

and flabby boys, apparently...