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Posted: 10/25/2003, 10:58 pm
by I AM ME
wow i feel guilty even reading these
Posted: 10/25/2003, 11:16 pm
by Solidarity 9-6347
my friends and i were almost suspended in middle school for having a 10 page front and back packet of jokes like these
wow i have a lot
i believe the original jews in a car joke was as follows:
how many jews can you fit in a VW bug?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray
why couldn't hellen keller drive?
because she was a woman
why did hellen keller only use one hand to masturbate?
she used the other hand to moan
why don't jewish women wear chastity belts?
because jewish men eat locks
why did god invent the orgasm?
he couldn't wait for the second coming
how do you fit 5 babies in a bucket?
with a blender
how do you get them out?
with doritos
what's worse than 10 babies nailed to 10 trees?
1 baby nailed to 10 trees
what's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
you dont cum on a golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it <--
this one's not really innapropriate but its funny:
where are an elephant's sex organs?
in its feet, because if it steps on you, you're fucked
Posted: 10/26/2003, 12:11 am
by Sufjan Stevens
The apple one is the winner.
Posted: 10/26/2003, 8:34 am
by Axtech
Wait wait wait... You don't cum on a golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it?
Maybe that's why the folks at the cafeteria were acting so weird...
Posted: 10/26/2003, 9:17 am
by starvingeyes
man, i got's what yo people need:
what do you call a native american on a bike?
bike theif
what's the fastest thing in the world?
a beer truck driving through a native reserve
what's the second fastest thing?
the natives chasing after it
what do you call a black man in a courtroom wearing a three piece suit?
the defendant
what do you call a black girl whose had three abortions?
crime fighter
what do you call a black preacher?
holy shit.
what do you give a dead baby for it's birthday?
a dead puppy
what's the only thing funnier then a dead baby?
a dead baby in a clown suit
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing. she's already been told. twice.
what does the man do when his dishwasher breaks down?
he slaps the bitch and tells her to get back to work
Posted: 10/26/2003, 9:58 am
by Axtech
The last one reminds me of this one:
How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowblower?
Give the bitch a shovel.
Posted: 10/26/2003, 11:11 am
by starseed_10
i almost wrote that one yesterday..
steph, you've got a couple awesome ones in there!
Posted: 10/26/2003, 11:19 am
by Henrietta
I'm giong to hell now.
Posted: 10/26/2003, 12:47 pm
by Axtech
I'm pretty sure we all are...
Posted: 10/26/2003, 7:41 pm
by Fras
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes?
Nothing.. you've already told her twice.
What is the fastest mammal in the world?
A Ethiopian with a McDonald's Coupon.
What do you do when you wake up and see your TV floating?
Turn on the light and shoot the N***er.
Why did Hellen Keller's Dog run away?
You would too if Your name was 'Baaaahhh.. Maeeh de du.. *studder* maaawwwhhhh' (said in retard voice)
Why shouldn't Blind people sky dive?
Scares the shit out of their dogs.
What's the definition of agony?
A one armed newfie hanging off a cliff with an itchy ass.
that's good for now
Posted: 10/26/2003, 7:42 pm
by Fras
What do you call an Anarexic with a Yeast infection?
A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
Posted: 10/26/2003, 7:57 pm
by ihatethunderbay
Ok, so this one isn't really inappropriate but it's funny anyways:
How many kids with A.D.D does it take to change a lightbulb?
hey lets go ride bikes.
Posted: 10/26/2003, 8:16 pm
by I AM ME
LMAO
Posted: 10/26/2003, 8:20 pm
by starseed_10
that was awesome.
fras that last one was the most disgusting thing i've read in my life
Posted: 10/26/2003, 8:34 pm
by Axtech
Posted: 10/27/2003, 4:01 am
by Solidarity 9-6347
this is one my friend came up with:
so there's this truck driver going to deliver a shipment of 300 black bowling balls and he passes this black guy on the road with no shoes. he feels sorry for him so he gives him a ride but he's really dirty so he tells the guy to get in the back. 10 minutes later, the driver comes across another black guy with a broken bike. he feels sorry for this guy too and tells him he can ride in the back of his truck. a little while later, the truck driver misses a weigh station and gets pulled over by a couple of cops. the first cop goes to speak to the driver while the second checks the back. after a few seconds, the second cop runs up to the first screaming "get in the car, we have to get out of here!!!" so they get in the car and speed away. the fist cop asks the second, "what the hell was that about??", to which the second cop says "i found 300 niglet eggs in the back of that truck...two of 'em hatched and one stole a bike"
Posted: 10/27/2003, 6:51 am
by Axtech
Posted: 10/27/2003, 8:20 am
by superrgirll
i've heard that one before.
Posted: 10/27/2003, 9:46 am
by Fras
Long but good..
A guys is walking down the beach and he sees a girl lying on the beach. As he approaches he notices she's crying. he also notices that she has no legs or arms. He approaches her and asks "what's wrong?" "what's wrong. I have no arms or legs. Ive never experienced the joys of life." "Aw. What did you want to experience." "True love. Like.. I 've never even been hugged." Feeling bad for the girl, the guy sits down and gives her a warm hug. "Aw. that was really nice." "anything else?" "well.. I've never been kissed." Shruging 'what the hell', the guy leans in for a nice warm long kiss. "Wow. That was amazing." Getting up he hears the girl whisper. "You know. I've never been fucked either." Looking back the two exchange long looks in the eyes. smiles grace their lips and the guys leans back down and picks the girl up in his arms, and throws her into the water. laughing he yells "YOUR FUCKED NOW!"
Posted: 10/27/2003, 10:26 am
by Solidarity 9-6347
^
superrgirll wrote:i've heard that one before.
that lying bastard