ClumsyMonkey.net

Lando wrote:

sandman wrote:Lando,
how should i go about finding and adopting my army of Ewoks?

This is an easy one! When I was 12, I decided to do the same thing!

Call Star Wars Freaks at:


1-800-SWFREAK
1-800-7937325

You'll have the option of adopting up to 3 Ewoks immediately. They can have birth every 3 months which will fast track the creation of your army.


Don't worry about inbreeding. It's something they're into.

so how big is your army then?
we need the army to take over in a coup if we somehow manage to lose the election

Lando wrote:I'm not starting to make sense, Everyone is just slowly going insane!

So true... so true...

modern psychokitty wrote:
And how can I, a fellow Skatchie, achieve the greatness you have?

Sorry, I missed this one.

The easiest way to achieve greatness would be to leave all your personal belongings in a giant cardboard box. Perhaps one of the biggest cardboard boxes ever made. You'd already gain some fame for holding the record and then you could leave the box somewhere and charge a dollar for everyone to come and see it.

Then you'd have to leave, without your shoes, but keep at least your clothes. We don't want you getting arrested and go to the concert of some amazing performer like Danko, Cher, The BeeGees, Samuel L. Jackson on Ice, The New Kids On The Block Reunion Tour, or perhaps even a play like Raffi on Broadway in: Hamlet.

You'd then go and yell obscene things at him. Yes I do know I put Cher in one of the options, but I still stick with the word HIM because her sexuality should be under investigation I believe. Anyway, you'd go yell things like "You pooped on my socks!" or " I love the smell of your grandma's panties!" Or even better " I like to calculate stuff on my calculator!" <---- this one really gets them going.

You'll probably get kicked out, or rewarded by the security who probably hate the performers more than they hate having to eat meatballs off the floor during their lunch breaks.

Either way, if you can get the job done, get a giant cardboard box and do this without any personal possessions, then that's a giant step in the right direction.

sandman wrote:

Lando wrote:

sandman wrote:Lando,
how should i go about finding and adopting my army of Ewoks?

This is an easy one! When I was 12, I decided to do the same thing!

Call Star Wars Freaks at:


1-800-SWFREAK
1-800-7937325

You'll have the option of adopting up to 3 Ewoks immediately. They can have birth every 3 months which will fast track the creation of your army.


Don't worry about inbreeding. It's something they're into.

so how big is your army then?
we need the army to take over in a coup if we somehow manage to lose the election

It's around 2300 at the moment. I haven't been breeding mine very often. Like I say, I started when I was 12, so I could have a much larger army right now, but I like to get to know all of them personally so that when the time for action comes, they trust in my decisions and will back me up no matter what!

nikki4982 wrote:

Lando wrote:I'm not starting to make sense, Everyone is just slowly going insane!

So true... so true...

Alex Trebek: Sorry, your answer must be in the form of a question.

Lando wrote:

sandman wrote:

Lando wrote:

sandman wrote:Lando,
how should i go about finding and adopting my army of Ewoks?

This is an easy one! When I was 12, I decided to do the same thing!

Call Star Wars Freaks at:


1-800-SWFREAK
1-800-7937325

You'll have the option of adopting up to 3 Ewoks immediately. They can have birth every 3 months which will fast track the creation of your army.


Don't worry about inbreeding. It's something they're into.

so how big is your army then?
we need the army to take over in a coup if we somehow manage to lose the election

It's around 2300 at the moment. I haven't been breeding mine very often. Like I say, I started when I was 12, so I could have a much larger army right now, but I like to get to know all of them personally so that when the time for action comes, they trust in my decisions and will back me up no matter what!

good idea
and they do need that trust
they trusted C-3P0 and Princess Leia (she's hot thats why) so they need to trust us (since in the case of any emergencies i will become the president) in order for our reign to be the best

Well, you now have the inside tips on how to build a good ewok army, hopefully it will benefit us for the election campaign...

If not, we can just use brute force to get votes.

thats the plan
if they dont vote for us
we force em
if we still lose
we'll come up with a problem like hanging chads and make the supreme court of clumsymonkeyia to claim us as the winners of the election
if that doesnt work. we send in the ewoks to take over and hail us as their gods

Lando wrote:

nikki4982 wrote:

Lando wrote:I'm not starting to make sense, Everyone is just slowly going insane!

So true... so true...

Alex Trebek: Sorry, your answer must be in the form of a question.

... true so??

Nikki the answer to your question is LICE. You're scratching your head, you better go see a doctor and get something to get rid of it.

what's this thing sticking to the bottom of my shoe?

what is this brown stuff that keeps comeing out of my but?

lando, do i have to go to work??

joe_canadian wrote:what's this thing sticking to the bottom of my shoe?

That would be a note from your mother. She realized if she left it on the fridge or the table, you'd never find it, so she stuck it to your shoe. It's just to remind you that you were supposed to pick your sister up 4 hours ago.

Looks like you're a little bit late.

Josh wrote:what is this brown stuff that keeps comeing out of my but?

It's poop, or as you called it earlier shit.

I invented like I mentioned. You hate me because of it, but that was negative a billion years ago. I've come a long way since then.

dream in Japanese wrote:lando, do i have to go to work??

Unfortunately yes. Because you're already there.

If I would have answered this earlier, I would have said no, you don't have to deal with the jerks there and to stay home and talk to me!


Or play scrabble by yourself.

That's always the best time ever!

why did the vines do a covewr of ms. jackson?

lando, can we play scrabble together when i get home from work?

Lando, why did my mom mess up the fettucine!?

Lando? Should I?