ClumsyMonkey.net

carnival_7 wrote:is it possible for me to ever be as cool as you?

Chances are you are already cooler than me. Depending on how hot you are.

By hot I don't mean your looks. I'm not that shallow of a person unless I'm floating in the kiddie pool at the local aquatic centre.

If you live in alaska or somewhere that's colder than here in the summer, then yes, you are definitely cooler than me. Air conditioning can also apply to this, as I do not have this luxury of such things, I am always hot. Yesterday, where I live was actually Canada's hot spot. So yesterday you were definitely cooler than me. Providing you live in Canada.

If you live in a really hot place, or don't have air conditioning and you are really concerned about being cooler than me, then you have 3 options. Move to somewhere cooler, get air conditioning, or lock yourself in the local grocery stores meat freezer.

sandsleeper wrote:what's that stuff growing on the banana in my kitchen?

The stuff growing on your banana is a form of mold. Which is any type of various fungi that often causes disintegration of organic matter.

It's because you waited too long to eat your banana! You could still eat it, but there's a good chance you'll get really sick and die.

However, on the lighter side, this mold growing on your banana can perhaps be used to create penicillin. Are you a medical Scientist? If you answered yes, then you'll be able to use this mold to create penicillin! Which as you'd know (being the medical scientist and all) is a group of broad-spectrum antibiotic drugs obtained from penicillium molds or produced synthetically, most active against gram-positive bacteria and used in the treatment of various infections and diseases.

This banana could be used to save lives. Use it wisely my friend.

carnival_7 wrote:How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if said woodchuck could chuck wood?

This question is a difficult one to answer accurately because it is completely theoretical in nature.

First a study would be needed to see if woodchucks can actually chuck wood. If they were capable of such a feat then we'd need to do an analysis taking into account the following factors:

-The stamina level of both male and female, full grown woodchucks
-The weight of each piece of wood. (Hopefully similar weights will be used)
-The distance the woodchuck can "chuck" the wood. (Therefore helping us determine the amount of energy the woodchuck expends from each throw and his/her individual strength levels)
-The wind direction. If the woodchuck is throwing into the wind, the results may vary. (Unless experiment is conducted in doors)
- Dehydration (Do the woodchucks have a bottle of gatorade at their disposal?)

After considering all the factors you should be able to come up with a fairly accurate answer. Unfortunately I do not have the funds to conduct this research.

PLEASE NOTE: DO NOT USE RABID WOODCHUCKS. It's a bad situation. Trust me.

I hope this is goodbye wrote:Hey Strongbad, how did you get so awesome? And by Strongbad, I mean Lando.

Many many millitary experiments. I've been injected with so many top secret drugs that I don't think I actually contain any natural fluids anymore. Just like Mr. Burns, all the diseases floating around in me are cancelling each other out. Making me invincible. That's right!!!!!! I'm INVINCIBLE!!!!


I also watched a lot of The Polka Dot Door in my younger days. I'm sure that's helped me along the way...


(suckers... they don't know that I still watch the polka dot door....)

su7an wrote:My 500 shares of a coporation vest in 3 months, and I need a new wall-mounted flat-screen TV.

Solve for x.

Unfortunately, you did not specify which factor is to be X. Although extremely obvious, with this sort of vague question the margin of error is slightly too high for me to risk with an answer involving more than 2% assumption.

You see if I were to give you an answer it may seem like everything's skyrocketing and working out well, but next thing you know it ends up to be an asymptote and although you're not screwed, you were better off before not having a flat screen tv and actually having a cardboard box to live in.

ourladypeace10000 wrote:Lando...why was I born to this earth?

Even more important...Lando, why do you look like this sexy clown? <-Lando the sexy clown

You were born for the same reason as everyone else. To eventually serve your supreme ruler of the universe. He-man. However, until he comes along, you can serve me. You can call me... She-r... er...God. Actually to be truthful, no one knows why we were put on this earth. My belief is that we were put here to live out a life which makes us happy. A lot of people disagree with this theory, but I believe that if we can find what always makes us happy then that's truly living.


As for me, being the clown... I mean... Honestly... Have you ever seen anyone better looking? That's why I'm the clown.

what the HELL is that smell?

Can you overdose on chocolate covered coffee beans? *burp*

why do pineapples taste so good?

7innocent wrote:what the HELL is that smell?

Natural Gas. You're lucky you can smell it. If you had a carbon monoxide leak you could be in some serious trouble. Call your local energy company about the leak and they'll look into it for you.

The smell is also a mixture of Eggplant being cooked for dinner, mixed with sweaty socks from all the physical activity you've been up to lately, plus look behind the tv, I think you'll find your pet left you a steamy surprise.

Candy-coated Fake wrote:Can you overdose on chocolate covered coffee beans? *burp*

Contrary to popular belief you cannot overdose on these tasty treats. You can however cause yourself some mental trauma from the amount of caffeine you're ingesting and sleep you're losing. If you start to tremble violently, put on some Elton John music. It will soothe you into aftershock. Spasms will occur, light vomiting and very seldom some people experience hallucinations of lawn gnomes stealing their most beloved posessions. Soon after that everything will clear up and you can start your coffee bean eating binge once again.

carnival_7 wrote:why do pineapples taste so good?

Pineapples taste so good because human taste buds are extra sensitive to a certain ingredient in the natural glucose of the fruit. Eating too much pineapple can actually cause sores in your mouth also!

Interesting Fact: A strong, white, silky fibre can be extracted from the leaves of pineapples. In the Phillippines this is used to make a material called 'pina' which is a light-weight, sheer, stiff fabric used for embroidery, table cloths and clothes.

Lando...

Why does your name rhyme with bando? Or dando, for that matter.

yeah adding on to the pineapple question WHY does my mouth hurt and start to bleed when i eat it? damn that pineapple!

why am i the only one on the cm at three oclock in da morning? i thought this was the peak...

maybe because in est, it was 6am when you posted that.

Why would Naveed let a young man die? heehee

haha, IS anybody home?

what about the consequences?

will we ever get out of here?