So a bird shats on my head today.......

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 6/27/2003, 4:01 pm

and you should! :lol:

emily · Post by **emily** » 6/27/2003, 4:03 pm

which proves difficult in sexual situations

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/27/2003, 4:03 pm

*huddles in the shower trying to scrub himself clean*

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 6/27/2003, 4:54 pm

Johnathan wrote:
J-Neli wrote:but seriously I could not fathom having my hand up a cows ass

It was nasty!! To make matters worse that cow was trying to have a dump!! It was gross!! I couldt feel it coming out!

I feel dirty

You are dirty :nod:

Solidarity 9-6347 · Post by **Solidarity 9-6347** » 6/27/2003, 10:40 pm

that made my year :lol:

i think my favorite part was trying to picture this:

Johnathan wrote:I was smashed into the was

emily · Post by **emily** » 6/28/2003, 6:37 am

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/28/2003, 10:15 am

That was supposed to say:

"I was smashed into the wall"

:Johnathan:

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/28/2003, 6:47 pm

Stuck

Well a few years I was starting 10th grade at a new school. So on my very first week there, I get sick, very sick. I was so sick that I could barely stand up. All I wanted to do is sleep.

So during my down time, I had to make frequent and sudden trips to the bathroom in the dead of night.. This was challenging. So one night, it was about 3:30 am and I woke up suddenely and was in the bathroom within seconds. I didnt even have time to fully awake myself and I wasnt paying attention to anything other than need to go #2.

So I get into the bathroom and I sit on the toilet but, thats when I feel something wierd on my tush. That helped me wake up more then I realized that my bum was cold. Thats when the lightbulb in my head turned on. I realized that I forgot to put the seat down. INstead of sitting on the seat I was sitting on the toilet rim. It was nothing until I tried to get up.

I couldnt't get off the toilet. I was like :wtf:

and

I tried some more and I couldnt get off. I was stuck to the shitter. So it took me a few minutes to realize what was wrong...........

...............you see when I sat down, my ample derrier created a ."vacuum" or "suction"( if those are the correct words) and I was stuck........good. So i tried pulling and twisting my way off but It wasnt working. So to free myself I used the toilet brush :oops:

to stick into the bowl to let air in.........

:uh:

dashboard_si · Post by **dashboard_si** » 6/29/2003, 11:10 am

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/29/2003, 11:19 am

Does anybody else want to hear more tales of stupidity?

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/29/2003, 11:21 am

or is that enough?

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 6/29/2003, 11:34 am

MORE! MORE! MORE!

sandsleeper · Post by **sandsleeper** » 6/29/2003, 3:17 pm

oh shoot. ass stuck in a toilet.

:lol:

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/30/2003, 2:23 pm

Stuck. Part 2

This is involves total stupidity on my part.

Well back in the 12th grade I was partying at my friends house. This was a time when I was pretty much drunk every other weekend(We had back to back Birthdays) So it was a friday night. I was at my friends birthday party and we were having a blast. It was a very god time......till I got an Idea to pull a prank.

So in my drunken state, I decided to sabotage the toilet. I asked my friend if he had some Crazy Glue( I told him that my glasses were broken) and he told me look upstairs in his cupboard. So I go up and I find two brand new tubes of Crazy Glue. I snatched them up and proceeded back downstairs. I go to the bathrooom and I open up the tubes of crazy glue. I pour two whole tubes of glue onto the toilet seat( The idea that some one would get stuck sounded hilarious) I hoped that the glue didnt dry.

So a few minutes pass, then I start feeling sick(My bastard friends spiked my drink with a laxative). I started to have cramps. I was like "oh no" " whats wrong?" I had to go to the bathroom. So I mad a mad dash to the toilet and I went number#2. After that I felt a little bit better but I knew that I was going to be making frequent trips. So I finish up and I try to stand up, but I couldnt get up.

Yup you guessed it, I fell victem to my own prank. I was glued tightly to the seat So matter how hard I tried to pull myself off, I couldnt get up. It hurt!!

Needless to say that the next few hours and days turned out to be "weird"
You see to get free I had to detach the toilet seat from the toilet. All I can say is thank goodness I was wearing sweat pants or the trip home woulda been way weirder.

:uh:

emily · Post by **emily** » 6/30/2003, 2:26 pm

you wore the seat home???? :lol:

superrgirll · Post by **superrgirll** » 6/30/2003, 2:28 pm

how did you manage to get the seat off your ass afterwards?

Axtech · Post by **Axtech** » 6/30/2003, 2:32 pm

Only you, man. Even though you were drunk, only you could do something like this. :lol:

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 6/30/2003, 2:36 pm

superrgirll wrote:how did you manage to get the seat off your ass afterwards?

Well I tried to take a very hot shower......that helped a bit. I layed in bed with 6 heavy blankets on me. That helped but I couldnt stand the heat. So in the end I had to let nature takes its course....................

emily · Post by **emily** » 6/30/2003, 2:54 pm

what happened when you had to take a shit?

Axtech · Post by **Axtech** » 6/30/2003, 2:56 pm

He left the seat up. :lol: