Love & Relationships Thread

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 10/16/2005, 9:36 pm

i'm not doing it, i'm just not. i'm not ready to let him go and let somebody else have him. we both know we'll stay friends, but i'm afraid my definition of that is different than his. we're obviously not going to hate each other, but i want him as a friend, as in someone i can still talk to and is an important part of my life, but i don't know if he wants that.

Gimme_Shelter · Post by **Gimme_Shelter** » 10/17/2005, 1:49 am

here is a question

if you were breaking up with someone why would you still want to have them be an important park of your life, and still be really good friends and talk all the time

because that right there is pretty much dating without the fucking
so why bother, its pointless

Gimme_Shelter · Post by **Gimme_Shelter** » 10/17/2005, 1:50 am

i just dont get it
all i know is, i hate when i dump a girl and she still wants to be friends

"fuck no, im leaving you for a reason"

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/17/2005, 10:06 am

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/17/2005, 10:48 am

I can see that a little bit. But I geuss you just have to understand that girls form attachments to people regardless of the type of relationship. So if they value you in any form, they don't want to just cut it off.

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 10/17/2005, 10:50 am

You obviously went out with that person for a reason too. Well I can't speak for you, but I tend to choose to go out with people whose company I enjoy.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/17/2005, 10:55 am

Now why would you go and do something silly like that?

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 10/17/2005, 11:18 am

Cass wrote:I can see that a little bit. But I geuss you just have to understand that girls form attachments to people regardless of the type of relationship. So if they value you in any form, they don't want to just cut it off.

...guys seem to find nothing wrong with just cutting you out of their lives...

neoncrossing · Post by **neoncrossing** » 10/17/2005, 12:02 pm

well i went out with a girl for 4 years and it has now been 3 years since we broke up and we are still friends....still go to olp concerts together and still talk....no hard feelings....its actuallly great

Gimme_Shelter · Post by **Gimme_Shelter** » 10/17/2005, 1:10 pm

thirdhour wrote:You obviously went out with that person for a reason too. Well I can't speak for you, but I tend to choose to go out with people whose company I enjoy.

and obviously a relationship will change over time
for better or worse

i'll dump someone because i no longer enjoy being around them
and if thats the case why would i still want to be friends with them and see them all the time

if i still enjoyed their company and i still like the person then why would i dump them at all, and then just be friends?

Gimme_Shelter · Post by **Gimme_Shelter** » 10/17/2005, 1:11 pm

dream in japanese wrote:
Cass wrote:I can see that a little bit. But I geuss you just have to understand that girls form attachments to people regardless of the type of relationship. So if they value you in any form, they don't want to just cut it off.

...guys seem to find nothing wrong with just cutting you out of their lives...

if i dump a girl its because i no longer like her, if i dont like her then why would i want to be her friend?

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/17/2005, 1:11 pm

Because it's not "all or nothing". You can't be "with" every person you enjoy spending time with. That doesn't make any sense.

Gimme_Shelter · Post by **Gimme_Shelter** » 10/17/2005, 1:15 pm

thats not want im saying at all

if im in a relationship and i enjoy it i'll stay their

if i dont enjoy it im leaving

and if i dont enjoy it the reason is usually going to be that i dont enjoy being around the other person anymore

if i dont enjoy being around the other person then why would i want to still be their friend?

i dont like her, thats why i dumped her

do you always spend time with people you dont like and enjoy yourself while doing it?

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 10/17/2005, 2:52 pm

Ok, maybe for you that's the way it works, but in alot of relationships the people still like each other but don't like being in the relationship for whatever reason.

If at the end of the relationship you can't even stand being around that person anymore, me thinks you should have gotten out alot earlier.

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 10/17/2005, 3:47 pm

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 10/17/2005, 6:22 pm

dream in japanese wrote:
Cass wrote:I can see that a little bit. But I geuss you just have to understand that girls form attachments to people regardless of the type of relationship. So if they value you in any form, they don't want to just cut it off.

...guys seem to find nothing wrong with just cutting you out of their lives...

I'm not like that... I enjoy staying friends after I date someone... but I guess i'm not really like most guys either.

Waiting to Exist · Post by **Waiting to Exist** » 10/17/2005, 10:06 pm

I think it's just a matter of moving on. I'm friends with an ex-girlfriend of sorts, too, but I can see how it would be awkward to date other people while being friends with her. Or, if she broke it off, being pained at having to watch her date other people.

I don't think it's so much just wanting to get rid of the girl as quickly as possible... or something.

+dance

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 10/24/2005, 5:30 pm

so if a guy hits you a lot on a first hang out...it's a good thing...RIGHT?!

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/24/2005, 6:30 pm

In my experience, yes. Pushing and hitting is good.

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 10/24/2005, 7:00 pm