The official CM support group thread

Pyramanica_Naveedess · Post by **Pyramanica_Naveedess** » 3/21/2005, 7:18 pm

my parents were scared to hit me and my brother because they were both abused as children.

Dad was a farm boy. With 7 brothers and sisters. he was sort of just a number if u think about it.

My moms dad was a navy guy, alcoholic. They always got the belt.

I was spanked once when i was like 6, i think i freaked out so bad i threw up cuz i was crying or something, lol that put an end to the spanking cuz i think it freaked them out :|

I always, always, get the guilt trip punishment. Theyve always know it works better for me to feel like shit mentally than physically and learn a lesson, or some bullshit like that.

happening fish · Post by **happening fish** » 3/21/2005, 7:32 pm

See i've done the whole freaking out, spazzing, crying, vomiting thing and that just makes them madder because i'm "overreacting" so much. My parents are big on the overreacting thing. None of my problems are ever taken seriously because I'm just overreacting.

Pyramanica_Naveedess · Post by **Pyramanica_Naveedess** » 3/21/2005, 7:36 pm

i was six, so i dont really remember it very well. This is what theyve told me.

My parents think i overreact to everyfreakingthing but they overreact to everyfreakinthing too so

i guess the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. or something like that.

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 3/21/2005, 7:52 pm

my dad hit us with a belt if we were bad and my mom put soap in our mouths.

as for overreacting, i think my mom was a big overreator. i am still bitter that she put soap in our mouths because we wouldn't say which one of us drank from her pepsi o_O

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 3/21/2005, 7:53 pm

it makes me really sad to find out that many of you are/were abused...

ok. so. i guess i never thought i would mention this on here...but there's something i wanna post......umm..after cause i gotta do the dishes.

afealicious · Post by **afealicious** » 3/21/2005, 7:59 pm

oh...wow.

see i thought i was bad off, because my parents see fit to punish me for such trivial things as looking sad. i dont even have to be bitchy or anything, just randomly feeling sad for ten minutes, and showing it, is enough for them to shout at me for hours. but after looking over what all of you had or still have to deal with...i guess i should be glad.

Pyramanica_Naveedess · Post by **Pyramanica_Naveedess** » 3/21/2005, 8:12 pm

yeah i should be glad that my parents didnt continue "trying" physical punishment...

I am glad.

But it does make me feel really sad to know that people in general get abused, especially kids, though.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 3/21/2005, 10:53 pm

I always, always, get the guilt trip punishment.

I get that to this day, and it always works on me. I'd rather be dead that disappoint my parents most of the time.

Wow this is sad

Every time I find out about these things I seriously thank God for sending me to such great parents. I hated being spanked when I was younger, and sometimes I didn't think it was fair (maybe it really wasn't), but it didn't continue into the years when I could think better or ever leave any kind of mark. I think my mom tried to slap me once, but I ducked and that was the end of that :lol:

If I got punished for looking sad I'd always be punished. People always think I look sad.

closeyoureyes · Post by **closeyoureyes** » 3/22/2005, 1:49 am

My parents can be stupid idiots, but I dont feel like they've abused me at all. I've RARELY gotten belted, and probably the last time was when I was 14. I mean they scream and shit, but i'd say thats pretty normal. Mostly, now that i'm calm, i'd go with Cass and say i'm thankful that I have the parents i have. I mean they arent perfect, but they love me.

happening fish · Post by **happening fish** » 3/22/2005, 3:01 pm

Guys, my friend is having a pretty serious family problem and I think I'm the only person he told about it. He has spent the past week moping around in my room, playing cards without talking. Everyone else has noticed that he's behaving oddly and they keep asking me what's up with him but I brush it off cause I really don't feel it's my place to tell them about it if he hasn't. Thus, not only is it really difficult to see him in pain, but I don't have any help with this situation. I don't know what I can do for him besides just be there. It's tough.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 3/22/2005, 6:17 pm

I had a similar worry about a friend last night. I was talking with our other friend about it and it's pretty simple. You can't do anything besides be extra nice, do things that will help the person out, and just be there if they need you. It's natural to want to fix things for them, but that's just not the way it works.

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 3/22/2005, 6:18 pm

ok, so...as for the thing i was going to post last night. and then didn't because i fell asleep.
well. i'm scared of my dad. not all the time. but when i am, fuck i really am. my dad is like two different people. most of the time, i'm the daddy's girl and he's super sweet to me, plays cards with me, and talks and stuff. other times...he gets angry. and when he gets angry he gets ANGRY. he's never hit me, but apparently he hit my brother some years ago....and one time a few months ago, he almost hit me. he grabbed my arm, said "i oughta.." and lifted his other arm like he was about to. my mom came in the room then and my dad left. i thought after that, something was going to change. i talked to my mom about it...but i could never bring myself to talk to my dad. i've considered leaving home, to go to a shelter or something. but then i think of the good times...and i can't even imagine how i considered it. but....agh. there's just always the thought in the back of my mind that something could happen, that he could snap at any moment.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 3/22/2005, 6:24 pm

You'd leave for a shelter when he hasn't even actually hit you?

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 3/22/2005, 6:25 pm

happening fish · Post by **happening fish** » 3/22/2005, 6:25 pm

Uh, my dad is like that except he's been beating the crap out of me my whole life.
My mom hits us too (she's not nearly as violent or temperamental though).
That's just how things work... I never even considered there might be something unusual about it until like the past year. I'm still really shocked to hear that there are so many people whose parents never hit them at ALL.... that's just totally odd to me. My parents are Europeans, they were raised that way and that's just the way life works, you hit your kids when they misbehave.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 3/22/2005, 6:27 pm

I think there's a medium that every family has to find. I think it can be a very effective tool, but if parents are just hitting you and taking their frustrations out on you, even if you're the frustration, then something is wrong.

I gotta be honest though, I think you're nuts to consider leaving just because of that. But I don't live there, I don't know how it is.

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 3/22/2005, 6:28 pm

my dad is similar to that but he's never hit us. he's just emotionally abusive. when he's out in public he is a really nice guy but when other people aren't around he is horrible. my dad is the reason i moved out. granted, you're not old enough to do that but if you can' talk to him bout it maybe just try to ignore him (even though i know that doesn't work cause i've tried it) or maybe move in with relatives. a shelter really doesn't seem to be the answer though.

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 3/22/2005, 6:28 pm

well maybe i'm crazy but i don't like being afraid of someone that i love

xoNoDoubt69 · Post by **xoNoDoubt69** » 3/22/2005, 6:30 pm

i agree with that. there were times when i was seriously afraid my dad would snap and hurt us all. if it's something like that, maybe you should look into living with someone else for a while if you can't get through to your dad. i persoanlly was always afraid to say anything to my dad cause i know he wouldn't care enough to try to change.

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 3/22/2005, 6:31 pm

xoNoDoubt69 wrote:my dad is similar to that but he's never hit us. he's just emotionally abusive. when he's out in public he is a really nice guy but when other people aren't around he is horrible. my dad is the reason i moved out. granted, you're not old enough to do that but if you can' talk to him bout it maybe just try to ignore him (even though i know that doesn't work cause i've tried it) or maybe move in with relatives. a shelter really doesn't seem to be the answer though.

so far i've basically just tried to ignore him, go kind of to another place in my head when he's yelling at me. i don't really know of any relatives who would actually take me in. i considered living with my boyfriend's family (he and his mom both know my situation) but they've always been so wonderful to me, have a small house and i'd just feel like i was imposing. anyway, yeah. i'm staying here i guess.