Self-Harm

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 3:01 pm

Korzic wrote:
Joey wrote:I'd feel much more comfortable talking to someone who had been through what I was going through for example .. rather then someone who has no idea and has to feel his way around when talking to me to see what might 'work' and might not .. or talking to someone that has to quote text book mumbo jumbo at me. Basically, it's much easier talking to someone who actually knows what the hell is going on.

While thats all well and good and I undersatnd that, you need to remember different people respond differently to different "therapies" What may work for you may not work for someone else. Those who know what works for you, are probably not trained pshrinks. And the pshrinks have to get a feel for you first before they can really be of any use.

um exactly .. which is why i said I as in me personally would feel more comfortable talking to someone who has more knowledge outside their text book. and judging from most self injurers that seems to be the case. and you can make as many 'get help' speeches as you want .. what you people have a hard time understanding is that we don't necessarily want help. the solution worked for me, it was a quick fix when i was at my worst and though it might not make sense to you, that really doesn't matter. cutting helped me get down off the edge when i was ready to throw myself off, that was my quick fix.

if i wanted help i could have had it .. my mom asked me if i wanted to speak to a 'professional' when my dad died. i turned that down for the same reason, it would have been pointless. "yes mr. professional, my dad is dead, what can you do to help." yeah that's right, nothing .. unless they have professionals skilled in resurrecting the dead now. i can talk until i'm blue in the face .. that's not going to change anything. and listening to a 'professional' tell me to 'hold an ice cube' instead when i feel like cutting isn't going to do much either, other then give me a good laugh at their expense.

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 10/7/2004, 3:22 pm

i turned that down for the same reason, it would have been pointless. "yes mr. professional, my dad is dead, what can you do to help." yeah that's right, nothing .. unless they have professionals skilled in resurrecting the dead now. i can talk until i'm blue in the face .. that's not going to change anything. and listening to a 'professional' tell me to 'hold an ice cube' instead when i feel like cutting isn't going to do much either, other then give me a good laugh at their expense.

it seems to me like you don't want to try their solutions or listen to what they have to say. they can't help you if you don't have an open mind.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 3:26 pm

i've said 10 times now i don't want their help or their 'solutions'
try to keep up :lol:

joey wrote:what you people have a hard time understanding is that we don't necessarily want help.

i think i've said that in nearly every post i've made about this topic.
it's very easy to offer advice and tell us what you think we should do when you're not the one in the situation.

Korzic · Post by **Korzic** » 10/7/2004, 3:41 pm

Korzic wrote:I do believe you people need help whether you want it or not, because injuring yourself is in no way healthy you would have to agree. And its up to you guys to actively seek out the help that you need, rather than sitting there and playing noughts and crosses on your wrist with a razorblade.

Hey yeah you can talk to me hey yeah you can explain everything thats going on in your life and me or your friends can sit and listen attentively, but thats a band aid solution rather than a permanent one.

So I encourage all of you who cut to go get help, I know that most of you will simply ignore this post and go on your merry way continuing to suffer in silence. But please, do try and get help, because it's not good for anyone to continue doing what you're doing.

I repeat myself just like you ;P Whether you want it or not, I still believe that you guys should try and get help.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 3:44 pm

yes but you're completely missing the point .. everyone keeps throwing professionals in our faces .. meanwhile you just said earlier "what works for you might not work for other people." exactly, that works both ways .. and professionals aren't for everyone either. unless a person WANTS help, it's pointless. what you see as a problem, i see as a solution.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 10/7/2004, 6:00 pm

Denial is a huge part of it. Even if you can admit it to yourself talking to someone else is probably the biggest step.

closeyoureyes · Post by **closeyoureyes** » 10/7/2004, 6:20 pm

I think, that this is a topic in which its difficult to form opinions about if you've never actually done it. Its very personal. I never got help. I just stopped. And healed, on my own. Just because you seek help doesnt mean you'll get better. Sometimes, you might even get worse.

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 10/7/2004, 6:22 pm

I think this thread got a little off topic, didn't it start as a disscussion to learn more about and understand cutting? It appears to have now turned into a debate about whether or not people should seek help.

Korzic · Post by **Korzic** » 10/7/2004, 6:26 pm

Which is why I put the "whether you want it or not qualifier" on. First off, you don't know whether a pshrink will help until you try it out and keep an open mind about it. This goes for all situations not just the whole cutty cutty thing. Secondly, cutting is not a solution whether you would like to see it as one or not. You cut because you feel a need to deal with the emotional pain of whatever. I don't know you I dont know why you hurt so much on the inside. But the fact remains that by the end of a nights cutting, the underlying problem still lies unresolved and all you've done is scarred your arm up. Now it may feel better for that night, but what happens when the next time comes around? Surely its better to seek a way to resolve this issue rather than come up with a temporary solution that only does you more harm in the long term. Even if you dont seek professional help, try finding something else to do instead of carving your name into your arm. There's hundreds of things that you can do instead of taking to your arm with a razorblade. And if you really must make yourself hurt physically. Try eating raw chilli peppers instead. It's probably not the best thing to do but it will provide pain but it isn't as harmful as cutting. And from my experience these things have worked in 2 different occasions.

If you really want to know what I went through, PM me. I'm not that comfortable talking about it. (oh the irony)

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 6:42 pm

Everyone is just repeating themselves now :uh:

It's like a neverending circle .. trying to explain ourselves, resulting in failure and being told we have a problem and we need help and then it starts over. :neutral:

Korzic · Post by **Korzic** » 10/7/2004, 6:45 pm

Most topical discussions usually degenerate into people repeating themselves. Its an arguments nature.

Surely though you can accept that self harm is a problem.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 6:57 pm

and it continues:

joey wrote:what you see as a problem, i see as a solution

Korzic · Post by **Korzic** » 10/7/2004, 6:59 pm

And thats the crux of the issue. How, in your eyes, is cutting yourself a solution to the underlying problem?

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 7:00 pm

because it was a quick fix and stopped me from killing myself.

Post by **xjsb125** » 10/7/2004, 7:04 pm

So does the cutting make reality set in for you and realize that killing yourself is not the answer? I don't really understand the whole self harm issue, but that is a question I had.

Oh, and Joey broke 10,000 posts. Congrats!

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 7:05 pm

no the cutting releases all the built up feelings that got me to that point and calms me down to where i can think clearly again ..
which more then likely won't make sense to most people but whatever.

Korzic · Post by **Korzic** » 10/7/2004, 7:07 pm

In what ways does cutting release that pressure as opposed to say... eating a chilli pepper?

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 10/7/2004, 7:11 pm

um eating something isn't going to help me, sorry.

and i'm not going into detail on here about why it helps anymore then i already have because there's just certain things i won't say on here .. and certain things that people don't need to know .. i've already layed myself completely open here and that's as far as i'm going to go on this particular board.

Post by **xjsb125** » 10/7/2004, 7:11 pm

I dunno. I guess that I'll never have a full understanding of it. I don't think I agree with hurting yourself, but if it keeps you from taking your own life, a scar is better than death.

Cole · Post by **Cole** » 10/7/2004, 11:43 pm

Wow you guys are crazy. Just agree to disagree.. :uh:

Ok...
No, cutting doesn't take away any 'underlying problems' (to quote people...I'm sure it's in some text books as well), but yes, it does help. Sometimes my mind races at what seems like 10 billion miles an hour. I think about everything at once. When I cut myself, there's this rush that I get...it changes my mind, makes it slow down and go back to normal. It helps me sleep at night. It helps me concentrate better at school. It helps me not go crazier. It just helps me, period.
Yes, it's true that those 'underlying problems' that cause me to think like this are still there. The things I think about are not gone, changed, or different in any way. But at least I'm not thinking or worrying about them anymore.
Someone said that it is not really a solution to any problems because it is itself a problem. Well...it solves some of mine pretty good.
I know that if I talked to a shrink, they would not understand this, the same way that you guys don't. I understand myself, I know how to cope with these thoughts now without going overboard, and I'm ok.
Now do you have some form of understanding?