
The worst time of my life
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Maybe it was just Queens? Or you had these great expectations that you would be bombarded with work before you even started and that led to get the anxiety attacks once school actually started? Maybe you should have taken a week off or something and just let your profs know your situation. I guess it's kinda late now but that's would have been my advice.
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
Good luck, Rob.
*hugs*
*hugs*
"if the nuremberg trials were applied to us foreign policy, every us president since 1945 would have been hanged." noam chomsky.
...and this is me hanging on / i'd burn our initials in the sun if it would shine / anxiety chokes me like razor wire / if hate's in your heart man, you'll take what you're given / wake up / i'm not the only one / it's never goodbye / go ahead and play dead / if everyone's a casualty, then take your time, there ain't no trouble / these wounds they will not heal / ambition can be a tricky thing / what the hell do i know about rape anyway? / this is not what i hoped for / ain't it so weird how it makes you a weapon / who will be there to tell me how stupid i am? / those living for death will die by their own hand / and it's me that I am spying on / pick up the pieces and live with the stars / hurry up and wait / things have never been so swell / they're always the ones who slowly drift / be great / ...and this is my world.
...and this is me hanging on / i'd burn our initials in the sun if it would shine / anxiety chokes me like razor wire / if hate's in your heart man, you'll take what you're given / wake up / i'm not the only one / it's never goodbye / go ahead and play dead / if everyone's a casualty, then take your time, there ain't no trouble / these wounds they will not heal / ambition can be a tricky thing / what the hell do i know about rape anyway? / this is not what i hoped for / ain't it so weird how it makes you a weapon / who will be there to tell me how stupid i am? / those living for death will die by their own hand / and it's me that I am spying on / pick up the pieces and live with the stars / hurry up and wait / things have never been so swell / they're always the ones who slowly drift / be great / ...and this is my world.
Wow that is rough. I'm not in university yet, but I know what you mean about stress and all that stuff. It sounds like you were just expecting too much of yourself and too concerned with proving how smart you were and impressing people and staying smart and all, that you subconsiously pushed yourself too hard. Basically you burned yourself out and over analysed it all, the rumours about university and the sudden abrupt change from cozy little highschool to the real world just overwhelmed you. I think you made a smart move taking a year off, just try to calm down and remember to have some fun when you do go back, go to clubs hang with friends or the stress will all pile on again and it might be worse than before. Queens will be waiting for you next year when you decide to back. If you wanna rant or talk or whatever you can add me to msn at rusty_me452@hotmail.com
Queens Of The Stone Age-Someone's In The Wolf
Once you're lost in twillights's blue
You don't find your way, the way finds you...
Tempt the fates, beware the smile
It hides all the teeth, my dear,
What's behind them...
So glad you could stay
Forever
He steps between the trees, a crooked man
There's blood on the blade
Don't take his hand
You warm by the firelight, in twilight's blue
Shadows creep & dance the walls
He's creeping too..
So glad you could stay
Forever

- trentm32
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I totally respect that, Robbo, I don't blame ya a bit, bro. I considered taking a year off before I started college, and I have a lot of friends that did just that. It's a mature decision man, to realize something like that, and have the guts and maturity to make that decision. Kudos my friend.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
- happening fish
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- Sufjan Stevens
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I know it seems rather terrible Rob, but don't worry yourself over this. You'll be back there next year. You went into school with impossible expectations and your worked yourself up so badly that it was causing you physical and mental problems, which isn't worth it.
Take the year off. You just need a break, seeing as you worked your ass off for so long to get where you're at. They will take you back next year, so just take the time to take a break. Look at it this way. After you graduate from college, you'll never have a chance to take time off until you retire from your job, so this could be good for you.
You'll be back next year man, so don't let it eat away at you. And next year, you'll know what to expect from school, so you won't get so stressed out about everything.
As far as I've known, you've always had your shit straight, so you'll be fine.
Take the year off. You just need a break, seeing as you worked your ass off for so long to get where you're at. They will take you back next year, so just take the time to take a break. Look at it this way. After you graduate from college, you'll never have a chance to take time off until you retire from your job, so this could be good for you.
You'll be back next year man, so don't let it eat away at you. And next year, you'll know what to expect from school, so you won't get so stressed out about everything.
As far as I've known, you've always had your shit straight, so you'll be fine.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
- nikki4982
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On top of the "don't care so much about what other people think" thing that everyone's been saying, my best advice is (and I don't know if anyone said this yet cos I kinda skimmed all the long posts past the first) when you DO get back to school... just take it one day at a time. Don't think so far ahead.
Also, remember... it's just school. Many many MANY important, well-paid people have skipped the whole college/university thing. It's not for everybody... and yes, that includes smart people.
Also, remember... it's just school. Many many MANY important, well-paid people have skipped the whole college/university thing. It's not for everybody... and yes, that includes smart people.

<table><tr><td>~ Nikki Edwards
Queen of the Harpies <img src="../phpBB2/files/queen_of_harpies.gif" align="texttop"></td><td><font color="orange">President of the Pookie Brigade</font>
"If you put those on the internet, I'll kill you guys!" - Jer</td></tr></table>
<center><img src="../phpBB2/files/squiggle.gif">
<font color="#3C8C8B">Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try, no hell below us,
above us only sky, imagine all the people, <font color="#FFFFFF">living</font> for today...</font>
<font color="#50B4B3">Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die
for, no religion too, imagine all the people, living <font color="#FFFFFF">life</font> in peace...</font>
<font color="#89CDCC">Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, no need for greed or <font color="#FFFFFF">hunger</font>,
a brotherhood of man, imagine all the people, sharing all the <font color="#FFFFFF">world</font>...</font>
<font color="#B1DFDE">You may say I'm a <font color="#FFFFFF">dreamer</font>, but I'm not the only one, I hope
some day you'll join us, and the world will <font color="#FFFFFF">live</font> as one.</font></center></font>
Queen of the Harpies <img src="../phpBB2/files/queen_of_harpies.gif" align="texttop"></td><td><font color="orange">President of the Pookie Brigade</font>
"If you put those on the internet, I'll kill you guys!" - Jer</td></tr></table>
<center><img src="../phpBB2/files/squiggle.gif">
<font color="#3C8C8B">Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try, no hell below us,
above us only sky, imagine all the people, <font color="#FFFFFF">living</font> for today...</font>
<font color="#50B4B3">Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die
for, no religion too, imagine all the people, living <font color="#FFFFFF">life</font> in peace...</font>
<font color="#89CDCC">Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, no need for greed or <font color="#FFFFFF">hunger</font>,
a brotherhood of man, imagine all the people, sharing all the <font color="#FFFFFF">world</font>...</font>
<font color="#B1DFDE">You may say I'm a <font color="#FFFFFF">dreamer</font>, but I'm not the only one, I hope
some day you'll join us, and the world will <font color="#FFFFFF">live</font> as one.</font></center></font>
I knew someone at university who dropped out for personal reasons and ended up getting such a good job that she never came back! I also know some people that took off the time they needed and came back and did really well. Well done for making such a hard decision and make the most of your time off so you're ready to start again next year totally refreshed.
Open your eyes to nights and days, you close them up and float away
and somehow inbetween you've got to master lying to yourself
you back the cause, get out of school, you get a job, the job gets you
and somehow every day you end up serving somebody else
now if that ain't panic that you're feeling, then you damn well better start
you can drive it into that head of yours with the hammer in your heart.
And it's alriiiiiiiight now, take the world and make it yours again.
and somehow inbetween you've got to master lying to yourself
you back the cause, get out of school, you get a job, the job gets you
and somehow every day you end up serving somebody else
now if that ain't panic that you're feeling, then you damn well better start
you can drive it into that head of yours with the hammer in your heart.
And it's alriiiiiiiight now, take the world and make it yours again.
Do you have any plans for the year now Rob? Maybe some travelling? or just work?
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
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First of all much credit to making the right decision even if it was a very difficult one. From my point of view I spent the first two years communiting to school and to tell you the truth it is horrible. You have a lot of added stress even it doesnt seem like it such as these long breaks. If you are going to go the communiter route you need to avoid those long breaks but that is nearly impossible. I found going away to school being much more relaxing even if i don't have that many true friends it is still easier on me because you can plan out your own day without the drive home and stuff like that. I am not telling you to go away but I would look into it if I were you because in the next year hopefully you will figure out a lot about yourself you never knew and that is a thing I wish I could do and I am currently trying to do. So best of luck to you man and don't worry about people think because you are your own person and you recognize that. You are someone we should all look too because you have the courage and self-respect to do the right thing for yourself
old school CM'er 4 Life
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That's part of the problem - I don't even know what it was. I'd just start worrying and panicing about everything. It was to the point where I'd start to consider planning something (like what reading I was going to do between classes the next day, so I knew what to put in my bag for the morning), and I'd end up having some sort of anxiety attack. At that point, I wouldn't even be thinking of anything specific, just panicking/worrying in general.