trust me.
*drools*
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dream in japanese
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 8179
- Joined: 3/22/2002, 1:29 pm
- Location: i am heaven sent
who is SugarCookie?
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
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xoNoDoubt69
- Oskar Winner: 2009
- Posts: 15117
- Joined: 11/26/2002, 7:35 am
- Location: new jersey
- Contact:
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areusad831
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 5427
- Joined: 4/14/2002, 9:40 pm
- Location: Palmerton, PA
ahhh i thought i regognized the lyrics
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
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dream in japanese
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 8179
- Joined: 3/22/2002, 1:29 pm
- Location: i am heaven sent
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trentm32
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 2272
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 2:51 pm
- Location: my heart is in New York.
- Contact:
neato, not bad.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
<a href="http://www.soundthesirens.com">SoundTheSirens.com</a>
Clumsyboy wrote:ahhh i thought i regognized the lyrics
never mind the lyrics... the voice tipped me off...
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
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starseed_10
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 10473
- Joined: 8/21/2002, 8:31 am
- Location: 123 fake street
- Contact:
I think the vocals need a bit of work... Jeff just needs to work on his voice a lil cause it can hits flats. Just some constructive criticism. The tune sounds good, just the vocals need to be improved upon.
I'm by no means a music professional either so maybe I'm wrong... (this is just to avoid the backlash my statement might spur because it can be mis-interpreted)
I'm by no means a music professional either so maybe I'm wrong... (this is just to avoid the backlash my statement might spur because it can be mis-interpreted)
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
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Sufjan Stevens
- Oskar Winner: 2005
- Posts: 6738
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 12:25 pm
- Location: Detroit, MI
Well, considering Jeff doesn't even post here, there's not going to be an outlash on ya.
And if Jeff does happen to stop by, I liked the songs. A lot. You should do something with it man.
And if Jeff does happen to stop by, I liked the songs. A lot. You should do something with it man.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
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Johnny
- Oskar Lifetime Achievement Award: 2007
- Posts: 31096
- Joined: 8/21/2002, 5:35 pm
- Location: Edmonton
Now, for a better opinion:
Song 1: The vocals need to be worked on....big time. The song writing can be a little better. I'm not saying its bad but, there could be more to it. The guitar seems to be so-so...in particular the rythem section but, I do like the intro though.
Song 2: I don't like it...plain and simple. The guitar work needs improvment. Quite honestly, its sounds familiar and I find it boring.
So Jeff if you read this. Just keep working on your stuff man.
Song 1: The vocals need to be worked on....big time. The song writing can be a little better. I'm not saying its bad but, there could be more to it. The guitar seems to be so-so...in particular the rythem section but, I do like the intro though.
Song 2: I don't like it...plain and simple. The guitar work needs improvment. Quite honestly, its sounds familiar and I find it boring.
So Jeff if you read this. Just keep working on your stuff man.
Professional Canadian.
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Solidarity 9-6347
- Posts: 1960
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- Location: Ann Barbor, MI
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ok, are we ready for constructive criticism? yes? no?
jeff, the timbre of your voice is fine, but could use variation. as my choir director used to say, "no note is created equal". try not to sing a whole song the same way, it becomes mundane after a few measures. if you can keep this in your mind as a general "rule" of thumb, one way to make a song more interesting is to arch the song in terms of intensity (sort of like a book...slower at the beginning...action...climax...detente[or whatever the hell it's called, i can't remember]) and then arch each phrase within a song. use different vocal techniques every few measures or every verse, chorus, what have you. your biggest problem is pitch recognition and stability. this means, unfortunately, that you are going to have to listen 10 times as hard to the notes being played than if you were just casually listening to a song. one way you can improve this is to go to a piano and just pick out some random intervals and then sing them back. since what you hear may not be what others hear, maybe have someone else there as a 3rd party to judge if it's too sharp or flat. another HUGE way to improve pitch is BREATH SUPPORT (also another choir director quote "breath support is always the right answer"). here are a couple of visualizations to help you: think of a ping-pong ball suspended in the air by a hair dryer or some sort of tube blowing out a steady air jet...the hair dryer now becomes your lungs and trachea and you have to keep up a steady stream of air to keep the ball suspended. another thing to visualize is a lazer beam coming from your mouth...a constant, concentrated beam of light that you use to target your audience with. again, the operative word is constant, as in constant air flow, and the only way to acheive this is to breathe from your diapragm...think of breathing from the lowest point in your stomach and then breathing out through a straw. breath support adds intensity as well, so if you can master this, you'll be ready for anything vocally. it can also help you to develop vibrato, which can be an effective vocal tool. if you have trouble hitting the higher notes on pitch, think of looking down on the note instead of coming up to it. i don't know what your intentions are...if you just sing for fun or have plans for a future career in music but if you do plan on playing professionally, i would most definetly suggest voice lessons...and that isn't meant as an insult, i take voice lessons and i can't imagine what my voice would be like if i hadn't had any vocal coaching at all...it would probably be pretty horrific
with that said, i'm not sure if you're using a program or this is a recording of a band, but if it is the latter, the tempo is inconsistant between members of the band and so it sounds hesitant and choppy. if you are just using a program and recording one instrument at a time and its fucking it up, disregard what i said
in closing, my comments are meant objectively...notice how i didn't say "you suck" or "emo sucks" and i hope that i can help you with my experience in vocal production
jeff, the timbre of your voice is fine, but could use variation. as my choir director used to say, "no note is created equal". try not to sing a whole song the same way, it becomes mundane after a few measures. if you can keep this in your mind as a general "rule" of thumb, one way to make a song more interesting is to arch the song in terms of intensity (sort of like a book...slower at the beginning...action...climax...detente[or whatever the hell it's called, i can't remember]) and then arch each phrase within a song. use different vocal techniques every few measures or every verse, chorus, what have you. your biggest problem is pitch recognition and stability. this means, unfortunately, that you are going to have to listen 10 times as hard to the notes being played than if you were just casually listening to a song. one way you can improve this is to go to a piano and just pick out some random intervals and then sing them back. since what you hear may not be what others hear, maybe have someone else there as a 3rd party to judge if it's too sharp or flat. another HUGE way to improve pitch is BREATH SUPPORT (also another choir director quote "breath support is always the right answer"). here are a couple of visualizations to help you: think of a ping-pong ball suspended in the air by a hair dryer or some sort of tube blowing out a steady air jet...the hair dryer now becomes your lungs and trachea and you have to keep up a steady stream of air to keep the ball suspended. another thing to visualize is a lazer beam coming from your mouth...a constant, concentrated beam of light that you use to target your audience with. again, the operative word is constant, as in constant air flow, and the only way to acheive this is to breathe from your diapragm...think of breathing from the lowest point in your stomach and then breathing out through a straw. breath support adds intensity as well, so if you can master this, you'll be ready for anything vocally. it can also help you to develop vibrato, which can be an effective vocal tool. if you have trouble hitting the higher notes on pitch, think of looking down on the note instead of coming up to it. i don't know what your intentions are...if you just sing for fun or have plans for a future career in music but if you do plan on playing professionally, i would most definetly suggest voice lessons...and that isn't meant as an insult, i take voice lessons and i can't imagine what my voice would be like if i hadn't had any vocal coaching at all...it would probably be pretty horrific
with that said, i'm not sure if you're using a program or this is a recording of a band, but if it is the latter, the tempo is inconsistant between members of the band and so it sounds hesitant and choppy. if you are just using a program and recording one instrument at a time and its fucking it up, disregard what i said
in closing, my comments are meant objectively...notice how i didn't say "you suck" or "emo sucks" and i hope that i can help you with my experience in vocal production
Last edited by Solidarity 9-6347 on 1/22/2004, 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
<3 Mademoiselle Pamplemousse
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
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areusad831
- Oskar Winner: 2005
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Solidarity 9-6347
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sorry, one more thing...i hadn't listened to the second song. the bass and the guitar are on completely different tuning. definetly make sure (perhaps electronically) that they are exactly the same pitch before playing because that can be a huge turnoff
<3 Mademoiselle Pamplemousse
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
~The world would be a better place if only more things were made out of statue~
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clumsychild_
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- Location: Canada, eh?
