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.:x:Marissa:x:.
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needing advice.

Post by .:x:Marissa:x:. »

Okay here is my dilemma.
Any feedback would be appreciated.

I have been dating this guy for about a week. He is two years older than me. The age doesn't bother me at all, because I generally like older guys more, because of the maturity level. But what does bother me is that he is looking for something really serious. I am only 16, and want a boyfriend, but want a more laid back, fun relationship.
When I say something really serious...I mean that he has already talked to me about falling in love and has already asked me to prom and ya. I guess I am just pretty overwhelmed. I have talked to him about stepping it down a notch, but he said he already has, and expects me to step it up for him.

What should I do?
Breakup with him? Stay?

:uhh:
!-¤M.a.r.i.s.s.a¤-!
Guy: Her locker's down the hall, I've counted 17 from mine.
Girl: Does he see me? Does he even know that I'm close by?
Guy: We're in the hallway, always at half past nine.
Girl: Would he ever get to know me? Would he take the time?


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Joanne
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Post by Joanne »

i would stay and just tell him to slow down
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finding emo
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Post by finding emo »

I'd say... for right now, stay because it has only been a week and maybe he will calm down a little.


If not, you are going to have to stop and reflect a little about what you want and make sure that whatever you decide you will be happy. There's really no sense in having a boyfriend if every time you see him you are stressing out about how you both want different things.
"I wrote on my palm before I went to have it read to see if she would read that too."- Mitch Hedberg
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here in bottles
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Post by here in bottles »

agreed :nod:
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Henrietta

Post by Henrietta »

Yup, I agree. Don't dump just cause he likes you alot, that's silly.
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Random Name
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Post by Random Name »

I have a feeling that you are in a relationship just to have a relationship. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it isnt necessarily something that can be serious.

Besides, how can you take a week old relationship seriously? You haven't even been dating him long enough to know is middle name! Going to the prom is one thing because a lot of people try to secure dates early so they are not on their first date at the prom. But still. How can he expect to have a full blown relationship after a week. Thats a little unnecessary.
-Sarah

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Well you sipped from the cup but you don't own up to anything
Then you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
(and I wish I could inspire)
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I AM ME
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Post by I AM ME »

it's to be expected that when you date older guys they're going to want to be more serious.
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good

"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911

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Lando
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Post by Lando »

Kick him in the junk and see where it goes from there...
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Post by Bandalero »

:lol: eh, he's just happy he bagged you. give it time and you'll either get a little more serious about him, or he's relax.
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let it be welcome
if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear
and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.

Nobody's gonna miss me, no tears will fall, no ones gonna weap, when i hit that road.
my boots are broken my brain is sore, fer keepin' up with thier little world, i got a heavy load.
gonna leave 'em all just like before, i'm big city bound, your always 17 in your hometown
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starvingeyes
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Post by starvingeyes »

holy crap!!

this guy is

a. 18
b. only been dating you for a week

and he want's it to "get serious"?!! are you joking me? deep-six this wacko as soon as you can! he might try to marry you after week #2. by week 3, he'll be living in your house.

you need to tell speed-racer here to come to a crashing halt. remind him that it'll be at least another 15 years before he's too old not to be married.

seriously.
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Sufjan Stevens
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Post by Sufjan Stevens »

Cass wrote:Yup, I agree. Don't dump just cause he likes you alot, that's silly.


Tell Lauren that. She dumped me because I liked her too much after dating her for nine months. Nine fucking months and because I wanted to be around her as much as possible, she dumped me. Wow, I wish I could get that time back and probably bag a couple broads worth my time.

But honestly, if the guy is talking about love after a week, then tell him to calm down or you're walking. And specify what you mean by walking, because he will probably think you want to walk down the ailse with him, and yeah, that could be bad.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
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nelison
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Post by nelison »

You can't just say "ok this is going to be a serious relationship" it has to evolve into one... if its forced it won't work.
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Post by trentm32 »

Explain to him you're not ready for a serious relationship,if he still tries to go fast, just drop the fella... and hope he doesn't go all Fatal Attraction on you.

Or you could just kick him in the junk like lando said, dat works, too.
"When looking up there, I just felt whole, like I belonged. Like one day I too would shine my most brilliant. Sitting there also made me think about sitting through services at my little country church back home. About that never-changing congregation of the same sixty-seven people and everyone has known you since before you were born. Now, out here in the real world, everything just seemed more vivid than when I used to sit in that little pew. That pew that was now so, so far away from where I was. I feared I had somehow left God behind there, too. I feared he was somehow just sitting there, saving my seat on the fifth pew from the front row, just waiting on me to come back. I left so quickly, I worried that he may not have noticed I was gone. And, now, I’m just too far away to find. So he’s just sitting there, patiently waiting on me to come back. I closed my eyes and prayed a moment. I hoped more than anything that he could still hear me." -an excerpt from my novella, A Sea of Fallen Leaves.

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Brooklin Matt
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Post by Brooklin Matt »

Yeah Marissa, I agree with my CM compatriots. This guy is obviously falling for you, and while that is nice and everything.........its probably going to get more and more problematic.

The best way is to just be straight up........no dancing around it or lying to protect hurt feelings.
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Lando
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Post by Lando »

blue eyed soul wrote:holy crap!!

this guy is

a. 18
b. only been dating you for a week

and he want's it to "get serious"?!! are you joking me? deep-six this wacko as soon as you can! he might try to marry you after week #2. by week 3, he'll be living in your house.

you need to tell speed-racer here to come to a crashing halt. remind him that it'll be at least another 15 years before he's too old not to be married.

seriously.



^ he put into words, exactly what I was thinking but couldn't say.

And when I tried, all that came out was "Kick him in the junk." So when I say that, you know what I mean next time!
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Lando
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Post by Lando »

Oh yeah and if dumpin' him doesn't work, or you choose not to.

Just kick him in the junk and see where it goes from there...
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.:x:Marissa:x:.
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Post by .:x:Marissa:x:. »

Thanks everybody for the advice.

But....about 30 mins ago, I broke up with him.

I expressed my concerns about moving too fast and getting too serious, but I knew that I was just going to drag things on, when I knew this isnt what I wanted. I told him that it wasnt the right time for a relationship.

*sigh*
!-¤M.a.r.i.s.s.a¤-!
Guy: Her locker's down the hall, I've counted 17 from mine.
Girl: Does he see me? Does he even know that I'm close by?
Guy: We're in the hallway, always at half past nine.
Girl: Would he ever get to know me? Would he take the time?


[glow=brown]...Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know like how to deal with despair or someone breaking your heart...[/glow]
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Random Name
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Post by Random Name »

Exellent.
Now, time for Spam.

Did you know that there is an imitation spam called "kam"
how strange is that?
-Sarah

Goodbye you liar,
Well you sipped from the cup but you don't own up to anything
Then you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
(and I wish I could inspire)
Take apart your demons, then you add it to the list.
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Dabekk
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Post by Dabekk »

ahhh! imitation spam!? but spam is already an imitation . . . of ham! how is this possible? . . . though funnily enough I think I've seen kam in stores.
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Brooklin Matt
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Post by Brooklin Matt »

YOu did the right thing. Glad you had some courage to do it.
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