g/f's calling habits

robcore · Post by **robcore** » 12/16/2003, 2:02 am

Dude, i do that all the time....i'm an asshole.

starvingeyes · Post by **starvingeyes** » 12/16/2003, 9:53 am

man, it's a fucking LDR?

dude, come on. ditch the bitch.

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 12/16/2003, 10:12 am

hmm... LDR's can work though... you just need both people putting in equal work toward the relationship. I'm currently in one (even though she's only 100km's away) and I'm having no problems. If you're committed then good for you, but if one person isn't (which looks like the case with this guy and his girl) then it isn't going to work.

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 12/16/2003, 1:50 pm

Dude, please listen to me with this. Dump the bitch.

Here's how it probably was with you two. You were probably dating for a while before and you two were perfectly happy with everything. And that's cool, fucking around with women would make anyone happy, it's a fact.

Then after time, she sees you less and says she will call, then mysteriously forgets to as she goes out with her friends instead of doing what she said she would. Then she has a habit for not getting out of work until over two hours after she's scheduled to leave. The all these other circumstances come up as to reasons why she doesn't call you when she vows she will.

Then you get pissed at her, and you start holding it against her as a major sticking point as to why you're not exactly happy at the moment. Odds are, she's cheating on you (sorry man....shit like this happens to the good guys) and will get defensive and fight with you a lot. You'll try to save the relationship, but she'll go off on some speech how she wants to take a break, and a week later, you find out she's riding some new cock and you don't speak to her anymore.

Yeah, it just happened to me over the summer with this girl I dated for 9 months and really liked. It can happen to you man.

My advice. Confront the cunt now. Don't let this drag out much longer, because then emotions get too involved, and you won't want to leave her, and she will end up hurting you. Face it, she's not as committed to making you happy as you are to her. This inequality in the reciprocation will just cause about a month of trying to get back with her, eventual hatred, and then the wishes of never meeting her. Just confront her with it now and tell her if she doesn't start changing, you're going to walk away, and if she doesn't change, stand true to your ultimatum. You don't have to put up with it.

Yeah, like I've said, I just went through this, and in fact, I am trying to get back with the girl right now, and she still does the same thing to me. I am learning to walk away. Just give up though man...

starvingeyes · Post by **starvingeyes** » 12/16/2003, 2:07 pm

alan's right man. it's dead. cut your losses and move on.

robcore · Post by **robcore** » 12/16/2003, 11:16 pm

it happened to me too. no ldr's my friend. they're horrible. alan's right, dump her.

Brooklin Matt · Post by **Brooklin Matt** » 12/17/2003, 2:54 am

I tend to agree with the guys's assement.........maybe not "dump the bitch", but at least find out what she's thinking..........if she dances around the question even after you bring it up seriously.........I would also dump her..........that, or maintain my distance big time. (its not so easy probably, but its worth considering)

Dabekk · Post by **Dabekk** » 12/17/2003, 3:28 am

well though alan is making some pretty harsh assertions, he MAY be right. Perhaps I may suggest that next time you're on the phone with her ask her how she think the relationship is going, if it's an ldr then she's not really getting any benefits from you so unless she actually wants it to work then that would be a good opportunity for her to let her thoughts be known. Also, if she does say that she thinks everything is going well, she will more than likely ask why you asked the question, and that would be a good time to tell her that you feel like she may not be interested anymore due to the lack of calling. I dunno, that's what I'd do to open up a dialogue on the matter. You may decide to 'dump the bitch' as alan so elegantly proposed, but at least try to make sure that it's the right thing to do first - don't do anything rash, you'll feel much worse about the whole thing if you realize that you've dumped her when you both still had strong feelings for eachother.

anyway, best of luck.

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 12/17/2003, 10:40 am

Yeah, that was rather eloquent of me, eh? But let's face it, that's going to be the next logical step. Unless she gets her shit straight and starts treating you like you treat her, then I wouldn't bother with the relationship. If she can't make the change and start doing things when she says she will, then all that will happen is you'll have a severe strain on your relationship. You two will start fighting over stupid things because, well, she's a liar. This is what happens, I know from experience.

If she can't do as much as calling you when you two never get to see each other, I'd highly question what she wants in the relationship. I mean, she's dating you, and she won't call even though you two never get to see each other. I would call her out on this and find out why. Odds are, the answer will hurt, but it needs to be done.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 12/17/2003, 12:20 pm

Maybe she's just going through a hard time. I'm trying to see it through a girl's point of view. I've been a shitty friend lately cause I never (ha, you see me all the time!) get online and stay on, or call, or whatever. You never know what may be going on and just cause of this doesn't mean she's cheating on you. Though it is of course one of the possilbilities....

starvingeyes · Post by **starvingeyes** » 12/18/2003, 12:06 am

even if she's not cheating on him i can safely guarantee that she'd be more relieved then upset if he deep-sixes her now.

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 12/18/2003, 1:35 am

marry a pornstar

happening fish · Post by **happening fish** » 12/18/2003, 12:46 pm

i don't get the deep six thing

superboots · Post by **superboots** » 12/18/2003, 4:20 pm

long distance relationships do work if both people are committed to each other and trust each other :nod:

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 12/18/2003, 5:59 pm

yeah....

I hate Justin.

That is all.

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 12/18/2003, 7:12 pm

marry justin

call me andrew · Post by **call me andrew** » 12/18/2003, 7:16 pm

yeah... unless you're recieving mind-blowing sex from this girl, i dont see any reason to worry over her calling. maybe suggest entering a more casual relationship with her and playing the game in your area.

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 12/18/2003, 7:17 pm

marry andrew

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 12/18/2003, 9:53 pm

No...Japan is a bit far for a long distance relationship.

The Post Modern · Post by **The Post Modern** » 12/18/2003, 11:08 pm

It turned out there was a legitimate reason she didn't call this last time -- one that I can't be mad about. It's bewildering when you can't be mad about something that has had you losing sleep like this. However, I adressed the issue of the past times it's happened and she promised she would not let it happen where she can help it. We'll see, I suppose. Still, I have a lingering grudge over it and she will have to make some effort to repair.

She doesn't want to break up. I asked her directly. But either she shows me she cares, or I will always be wondering and that will tear me away from her. I would really like this to work. Nothing good comes out of something you don't put anything into.