An exercise in self-control

superboots · Post by **superboots** » 8/9/2003, 9:44 am

I stole this from the SCWB (www.saddle-creek.org/webboard)
because I really really liked the idea

this is a test of honesty, of self-control and respect. here's some stuff about me. if you don't like some of it, i'm not gonna lie--i actually care--but at the same time i think it's fantastic to disagree IF and ONLY IF you can respectfully and SILENTLY disapprove. respect should run throughout the board...silent disapproval, i'm only expecting that in THIS thread.

instructions: read, disapprove, write about yourself. no negative comments. you can all do this.

about me:

i am Bethany
i live in Ann Arbor, Michigan
but i'm from Allen Park,
which is a southern suburb of Detroit
many people look down on the southern suburbs
but I am very happy I grew up there
i am 19 years old
and i drink alcohol,
but only in moderation
I have never been really drunk before
i have not smoked pot
and I think it's sorta scary because
they don't know what it does to your brain
but if you smoke i have no problem with it
it is your life
i never let anyone drive drunk.
i do not smoke cigarettes.
they are disgusting
and they make me sick
i am a straight white female
I am from a single parent family
my dad died in a car accident when I was 3.5 yrs old
My mom worked very hard to support us
I grew up in a middle-middle class family
My mom just got married and now we are upper middle class
I went to catholic school for 12 years
nobody at my school was openly gay
I have a few acquantances at college who are gay, though
I think that gays should be able to get married
my town was pretty safe,
but it was also mostly white,
my mom sent me to schools that were more diverse
because my hometown is so white
I don't have a car
nor do i have a lisence
I am deathly afraid of driving
my mom said she would never buy me a car.
I attend the University of Michigan
I do not pay for tuition
because my mom used some of the money
that she got from my dad to put toward college
I pay for rent and it is expensive
I usually live from paycheck to paycheck
but I am used to it and it is ok
i work full time summers
and occasioanlly work during school
I am taking 12 credits this semester
because I got too stressed out last year
i usually attend church on sundays
but I am starting to question my faith
so i don't go very much anymore
I was brought up very catholic
I am questioning organized religion
i think God may exist
i am against the death penalty
because i think that criminals
should have to sit and think about
what they have done
i am pro-life, but i think that
people should have this choice
but I dont think it is right
that the baby has to suffer
I don't watch tv at home
the only time I watch tv is with rob
I am dating a kid I met off of the CM
and I like him a lot
we have been dating for almost 4 months now
and he makes me extremely happy
I have been dealing with anxiety and depression
for a year now
when it got really bad i was going to get help
but i got better and can deal with my problems
I probably should be on medication though
I only like my dog and I love birds
Cats are ok
I only eat chicken
I want to be a vegetarian
I am working on that
I am a very picky eater
and I don't like peppers at all
I won't eat anything that touches them
I love to travel
and I want to see the west coast

ok i am done

nikki4982 · Post by **nikki4982** » 8/9/2003, 9:52 am

Well... there's no negative allowed, so I think this is allowed... but, Bethany, I just wanna say... I never knew how similar the two of us were. I agreed with most of what you typed. :mrgreen:

superboots · Post by **superboots** » 8/9/2003, 9:53 am

thanks

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 8/9/2003, 9:54 am

You know why this thread will flop? It takes too long to describe yourself. OK, I am done.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 8/9/2003, 10:34 am

I'd like to try it .. but I'm too scared :neutral:

finding emo · Post by **finding emo** » 8/9/2003, 10:35 am

Alrite, I'll do mine:

I'm eighteen years old and will be nineteen on December 17.
I grew up in a town called Clifton Heights, NY, near Buffalo.
The majority of my friends are Filipino.
I'm Jewish, but I don't really believe is Judaism anymore.
I question religion too, just because of what happened with my dad.
I was sexually abused as a child, I don't talk about it so don't make me.
I have two brothers and sister, my sister was cast out of my family for marrying a black guy.
I hadn't talked to her since I was eight until now. So I lost ten years because of my family.
I had a messed up home life and now the only family I have is my sister and that brother-in-law.
People tell me that I'm beautiful but because of that past I never believe it.
I'm going to be in therapy for the rest of my life.
I don't drink, I don't smoke. Never have and never will. Don't need it.
I'm engaged to a boy from Oklahoma.
I'm eighteen and he's going to be 21 in October, so people think that we're too young to be engaged.
We thought about eloping a month from now, still aren't sure if we'll do that or not. (Well the third week in August or whatever. Like a week after the CM meetup in NY).
I flinch when people other than my fiancee touch me, probably because of my childhood.
I watch a lot of Disney movies because I never had a childhood and it's my one chance to be a child again. So it makes me mad when people call Disney evil.
I know a lot of gay people. However, I know some that pay little 10 year old homeless boys to have sex with them. That is what I find gross, not the actual gayness.
I hate how the majority of the girls in the city have breast implants. That's not that appealing. It's pretty gross.
I don't really care for living in the city, I can't see the stars when I want to. I can't go running whenever I feel like it. I have to be careful every step I take.
I don't really work. I work at a gym now, teaching little girls to twirl baton for 20 dollars an hour for three hours a day. It'll be nice because I can take off when the trial comes and stuff.
I want to be an interior designer, but I'm not sure.
I'm taking a year off college and am starting as a sophomore next year due to AP credits at NYU.
I'm a cat person, but Cain says I can't have one because of it being in the city and all.
I love my fiancee's nieces and nephews. Little kids are hilarious, but I don't want any, nor can I have any. It's physically impossible for me.

I guess I'm done.

Henrietta · Post by **Henrietta** » 8/9/2003, 1:34 pm

I don't think it will flop, I think it's pretty informative.

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » 8/9/2003, 1:43 pm

This is probably going to be harder than expected. But let's try.

My name is Lydia
I am 16 years old
I speak Dutch, English and a bit of German
I live in Tilburg, a city in the south of the Netherlands
It's pretty big for a Dutch city
But you would probably consider it small
I like living in the Netherlands
Because it's a pretty open-minded country
And the first one in the whole world with a legal gay marriage
I am bisexual and have dated one girl so far
I came out when I was 13
And to my parents when I was 14
You might say that I am too young to know this
But I'm not, trust me
You don't know what I felt for this girl, do you?
I used to be a Catholic
I even sang in the church choir
But then I rebelled like a good little teenager
There was a short fling with wicca
But that wasn't it for me after all
I believe there is something
I just don't know what
I'm actually afraid that it might be God after all
I want to be a singer in a rockband
But I'm afraid of admitting it because it sounds childish
So I tell my parents I want to be a journalist
I'm terribly insecure about my singing
Sometimes I think it's pretty decent
But when I step onto a stage I get so nervous that I screw everything up
It sucks
I'm straight edge
I don't drink, don't smoke, and don't do drugs
I don't get along very well with my mother
We've kinda grew apart this year
It's sad, but I don't know what to do about it
I don't think I have anything else to say

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 8/9/2003, 2:15 pm

I am in such a shitty mood right now .. meh .. I'll probably regret this later but fuck it .. here goes:

EDIT: gee how did i know i'd regret that :roll:

DELETED

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 8/9/2003, 2:30 pm

my name is jillian, my friends call me that as well as jill
im 14
i live in ontario in a small town
in a small house with my mom dad and older brother
i have a pet cat
since grade 8 my grades have been dropping, i have been depressed for so long i dont know when these feelings started, and ive been a cutter since 13 or 14.
ive never been drunk, smoked, or done drugs, but considered them many times in grade 9 when i was at one of the worst points in my life
if i had the opportunity to do any of those things, i likely would
my only piercings are in my ears but i also want in my lip, eyebrow, and more in ears. i have no tatoos but want many.
i am afraid of spiders
i cant swim
i play soccer and have been playing every summer since i was 7
sometimes i think i only continue it for my dad, who is the assistant coach
sometimes i think my dad only stays assistant coach for me
soccer is the only sport/activity i have stuck with
i used to want to be a singer
then i realized my voice sucks
im thinking of becoming an actress
but i have issues with meeting poeple and talking to people
so it'll be really hard
i think i should be on medication but dont have the guts to tell my parents
i dont have the guts to tell my doctor either, because he will tell my parents
my parents dont have a clue what is going on with a lot of things in my life
i have horrible mood swings all the time
i am very insecure about myself
i struggle with depression every day
when someone goes away for awhile and dont come back on time, i always have a fear that they are dead
i was raised catholic but am beginning to question my religion
i dont think i believe in god
i dont know what im living for
im in love with a guy i treated like shit when i talked to him. i havent seen him for years
im thinking of becoming vegetarian

Candy-coated Fake · Post by **Candy-coated Fake** » 8/9/2003, 2:55 pm

BTW, I've read all of the posts people have made in here about themselves. They are really interesting. My turn, I guess.

-My name is Richele, but my friends mostly call me Chele.
-I'm 16, although I don't feel it or look it.
-I live in Winnipeg with my grandma.
-Over the past two years I've moved back and forth from my mom's to my dad's and finally to my grandma's.
-I'm an avoidant introvert. Therefore, unless you talk to me first (in person), I most likely won't talk to you.
-My parents are divorced. My mom and dad, who used to tolerate each other, now hate each other.
-At the beginning of grade 9, there was some rumour going around that my friend and I were lesbians together. Ever since then, I constantly find myself second-guessing my sexuality. It gets me really depressed.
-I love writing, singing, and playing music. I was thinking about starting a band but I'm not too sure I should because my voice isn't stunning. Hell, it isn't even that great. Same goes for my musical and writing abilities, in my opinion.
-The smallest things make me happy, and the smallest things make me sad.
-I've been questioning religion lately. I was raised as a Christian but how am I to know that there really is a God? Couldn't that just be a lie like everything else?
-I constantly am being used by someone. My parents use me to upset each other. I've been cheated on a couple of times. I don't know...I can't think of any more examples.
-I thrive on intense emotions, whether they be happy or sad.
-I have an opinion for just about everything, but I don't always know how to back it up.
-I think I may be clinically depressed, but I don't know. I probably have some sort of personality disorder too.
-I sit around thinking too much. That can get me depressed too, for some reason.
-I hate druggies. If you want to do drugs, that's fine by me. Just stop talking to me about it.
-I'm a perfectionist. This causes me to be a bit of a control freak.
-When I really like something, I tend to become obsessed with it. Not truly obsessed, but just obsessed enough to people to give me this look. --> :freak:

I don't know what else to say. If I think of more, I'll add it later.

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 8/9/2003, 3:58 pm

ok here we go...

My name is James but most of my friends and family call me Jimmy.
I'm 18,
and live in Welland Ontario, but was born in St Catharines.
I live with my mom, who seperated from my step dad 4 years ago.
I initially had trouble coping with this,
it took a year before I got back to normal.
My dad lives in Buffalo NY and I see him a couple times a month.
Him and my mom never got married.
I'm a pretty happy and laid back person, but I am an introvert.
I have a group of extremely good friends,
and a fantastic girlfriend with whom I've been with for over a year.
I played hockey all of my life until this past season.
I was one of the better players in Ontario,
but broke my collar bone twice and then had wrist surgery during my draft year.
I'm going to play hockey again when I go to school in september.
I'm going to be going to Trent University for psychology.
Unfortunately my girlfriend is going to school in Toronto and all of my friends are staying home to go to school at Brock.
I'm looking forward to school.
I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
I don't really understand the point of them.
I'd much rather know that I can have fun without any thing altering who I am.
I can be blunt sometimes. Sometimes it's unintentional.
I analyze everything. Sometimes a little too much, but I'm learning to let things be.
I have a creative side which I've hidden pretty well all my life.
I'm not religious, nor have I ever been to church, or really questioned my beliefs.
I hate having white on my nails, in fact I own 6 pairs of nail clippers.
It's really the only thing I obsess about.
I'm pretty sarcastic, and enjoy quick one liners.

I'm not sure if I've left anything out...

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 8/9/2003, 5:42 pm

I'm Yannic Emilie O'Neill Wolfe
My initials are YEOW
I am 15
I live in Vernon, BC
I moved here from a town 25 mins away when I was one.
I have lived in two houses in my life.
My parents divorced when I was 12
I have never fit in at school
and am an extreme loner.
My mom has been extremely depressed in the past
and still is, but she goes up and down
I found out a little while ago that she has thought about suicide
I also used to be depressed
my mom tried pushing counseling and medication on me
It didn't work
Mad Pride.
I am much better now
I don't really know why
it might have to do with olp
It is something I can really relate to.
I consider myself straight
beacuse thus far I have only been attracted to males
but I think I am the type that could easily fall in love with a girl.
I want to make a diferience in the world
I'm not sure what
and at this point I don't know how.
I believe in freedom of expression and speech.
I am all for peace.
I think the world would be a better place if it wasnt for large corporations
and advertising being shoved down our throats.
Some call me a hippy.
I am a competitive dressage rider.
For those of you that don't know, it is a disipline of horse-back riding where you must demonstrate you horses abilities my doing a pattern.
It's kinda like ballet on horse-back.
I have been riding since I was 6.
Sometimes I feel that my mom has pushed me into it
but now I'm glad I sticked with it.
I am not very interested in organized religion
but consider myself a very spiritual person.
I think I have some brilliant thoughts occasionally
but I lose my train of thought easily.
This was also a problem my mother thought could be fixed with medication.
I refused.
I have been to 9 countries.
And I want to travel more when I am older
maybe live somewhere else
With more mental freedom than we seem to have on this side of the world.
I have three brothers and a sister.
My sister and two of my brothers were adopted from Ethiopia.
It seems weird when people say how kind it was of my parents to 'take care of them'
They're my siblings.
No different than my birth brother.
I am pretty liberal.
I am still trying to figure out where I stand politically.
Communsim sounds good.
So does libertanism. (sp?)
To bad they are complete opposites.
I have many opinions on such matters
but not enough knowledge to back them up.
I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life
Maybe indie film maker
or something else artiistic
Too bad I have no talent.
I hope to continue learning until I die
which I hope isnt soon.

Blister · Post by **Blister** » 8/9/2003, 6:02 pm

i changed my mind. sorry. :uh:

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 8/9/2003, 6:08 pm

Oh yeah, and Rob ( and other people, but not really anymore) call me Snicks.

And my kick-ass drama teacher calls me Yank.

Mechanical Thought · Post by **Mechanical Thought** » 8/9/2003, 6:17 pm

My name is Caitlin.
I am 16 years of age.
I live in Brampton, Ontario, a suburb of Toronto.
I yearn to move to the hustle and bustle and bright lights of the big city.
I have lived in two houses in my whole life.
The first was only for two years.
I used to play with the flowers in the backyard.
That’s when I was blissful.
I am different then a lot of people at school but not outwardly.
I fear rejection; thus I am especially shy.
My mom has chrones disease.
I don’t know how to spell it because I tend to ignore the idea.
This is because life without her scares me.
I have thought about suicide, but thought even more about my views on it.
I am not a hypocrite.
I have been bulimic several times in the past.
I currently struggle with it, but am trying to find solace in other activities.
Manic depression runs in my family.
Seems I have contracted the gene sometimes.
My life revolves around music.
It’s saved me in a way that no one really understands.
I am straight, and have never really been attracted to females in “that way”.
I am white.
My parents are moving because a majority of our town is not.
I hate them sometimes.
I want to make an impact on the world, but doubt that I will ever succeed.
I have been called “Queen’s University Material” by people I hardly know.
I doubt I will ever make it that far either.
I always doubt myself.
I do not play sports.
I do pilates and jogging and that is the extent of my physical ability.
My life has been a series of diets because I am not happy with who I am.
I feel that in changing my outsides, I can be different on the inside.
Hence, eating disorders on my part.
I feel stupid talking about that subject and no one really understands it.
I do not like organized religion.
Born Catholic, currently atheist.
I am spiritual in a different way, one that suits my needs.
I have one brother.
He tends to piss me off.
Close-minded people piss me off.
That is a majority of my school, which I also hate.
I have never been in love, nor even had a boyfriend.
I am ugly, and that is why.
Boys like to play with my mind.
I love politics.
But, I do not read enough into them to give myself a political stance, as of now.
Hopefully, I can soon be like that.
I would actually like to be like Doug (on the CM)
There are many other people on the cm whom I admire, but they don’t know it.
Val, Alan, Bethany, Jeff and Yannic are who stick out at the moment.
Rob (the Wang one :lol:

) is also one of the greatest people I have met.
I can only hope to be half the people you are.
I am opinionated, but easily stopped from voicing anything on my mind.
Criticism frightens me a lot.
So do chickens.
I want to be in the medical field, but probably never will be.
I have always wanted to be able to draw.
I willingly open my ears to anyone who wants to talk and will gladly give much for a listener.

I'm still surprised I actually did this.

superboots · Post by **superboots** » 8/9/2003, 6:25 pm

wow, you admire me

thanks

and I doubt myself a lot too
another thing I want to add

Major depression runs in my family also
I just found out that my dad was hospitalized twice for it when he was a teenager
they thought he was a paranoid schizophrenic
but medicine was bad back then
they didn't really know

thirdhour · Post by **thirdhour** » 8/9/2003, 6:33 pm

caitlin, i'm willing to be a listener any time, and it means alot to me that you said you admired me.

thank you *hugs*

ihatethunderbay · Post by **ihatethunderbay** » 8/9/2003, 6:37 pm

My name is Sarah.. And my friends call me Sarah
I'm fourteen, and glad I don't fall into the stereotypical fourteen year old girl category
I'm bad at thinking of nicknames
People call me a tomboy, and it used to bother me but now I don't give a shit
My life is painfully normal
I live in Thunder Bay, a really boring town that smells funny because of the mill.
I live with both my parents
I have two borthers
One lives in Ottawa and is going into second year university
The other is going to Sweden for a year on exchange
We're a little strapped for cash right now because of them being in uni.
I draw all the time.
I'll play guitar a lot once I learn how
I like to roleplay. You know, DnD stuff, be it fantasy or futuristic.
I listen to music a lot (Right now I'm on a big radiohead kick)
Stupid people annoy me.
I can't stand being around little children for more than 3 or 4 hours at a time before they start to annoy me.
I get annoyed really easily
I got teased/bullied a lot the last school year by some stupid fatass who should die a very very very very painful and long agonizing death
I am not popular
I don't like school, though I think University will be pretty cool
I want to be a forensic scientist.
I don't like to talk to people as I lack social skills
I don't talk to my family, they know nothing about me.
I hate it how people think I'm a lot dumber than I actually am
They treat me like an ignorant little kid
I want to move out ASAP
I'll porbably end up in southern ontario, most likely Toronto

That is all.. I think :freak:

Mechanical Thought · Post by **Mechanical Thought** » 8/9/2003, 6:37 pm

I have read both of your posts in the past, and the ones in this thread, and I respect you both quite a bit. I thought I would mention it here because I didn't know how else to.