New Moon Twilight
When the sun goes down
I watch the night
Envelope all, and diminish sight
My mind goes blank
The cold has come
Im all alone, inside my soul
The walls close in
Inside my head
The memories come, in demonic form
They tear at me
They torment my soul
Their claws like ice, they freeze my heart
I’m all alone
We’re world apart
What i Wrote when i got depressed
What i Wrote when i got depressed
HARDCORE
TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and play counter-strike all day
Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life than you
Dr SpaZZo: Pity
TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
Dr SpaZZo: Liar
Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought them to be
TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up
TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and play counter-strike all day
Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life than you
Dr SpaZZo: Pity
TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
Dr SpaZZo: Liar
Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought them to be
TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up
-
Solidarity 9-6347
- Posts: 1960
- Joined: 3/13/2002, 6:14 pm
- Location: Ann Barbor, MI
- Contact:
-
InnocentDe
- Posts: 44
- Joined: 7/19/2003, 7:10 pm
Eh... it's more like a free form suicide poem like I saw in my 8th grade english class by all the white rich kids. I'm sorry ur depressed, but this isn't the kind of thing u want to put out as a representative of ur writing. It's okay, but like Idealist said, it's not very original. U gotta avoid the cliches, maybe use more imagry... I'm not sure WHAT happened to the structure, but that can be fixed. I dunno. it's a nice try
She stands/ in the rain/
always outside looking in/
trying to hide her pain/
trying to find your sin/
with a shiver and a tear/
it's everything you've feared-
from Amy- by De Choquette
always outside looking in/
trying to hide her pain/
trying to find your sin/
with a shiver and a tear/
it's everything you've feared-
from Amy- by De Choquette
hey i WAS depressed when i wrote this om not anymore i just thought i would post the first poem thingy or what ever i thought it was at the time. i know its bad hell ill admit it. but i just wanted to see what would be said about it thats all
HARDCORE
TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and play counter-strike all day
Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life than you
Dr SpaZZo: Pity
TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
Dr SpaZZo: Liar
Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought them to be
TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up
TwilightKnight: all i do is wait for Desert crisis 1.5 and play counter-strike all day
Dr SpaZZo: Heh.
Dr SpaZZo: Which, by definition, means I have more of a life than you
Dr SpaZZo: Pity
TwilightKnight: well i was making out with a girl today
Dr SpaZZo: Liar
Dr SpaZZo: Theres no such thing as a "girl"
TwilightKnight: yes it is true!
TwilightKnight: they arent the tales and ledgends we thought them to be
TwilightKnight: they exist and live on the outside!
TwilightKnight: In the daylight!
Dr SpaZZo: Outside? Daylight? Now you're just making words up
-
InnocentDe
- Posts: 44
- Joined: 7/19/2003, 7:10 pm
meh, i didn't think it was THAT bad guys, i think we're all just used to the extremely talented people on the board
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
