STUCK DAMMIT!

Candy-coated Fake · Post by **Candy-coated Fake** » 7/3/2003, 11:53 pm

Well, as a writer (and a person) I'm in a rut right now. I don't have anything to write about except sadness and stuff. I'm just wondering, since this small bit of a poem I'm writing is being written while I have writer's block, is it any good so far? Please post all comments here. I'd really like feedback.

Contemplating all my splintered thoughts
letting go of ripped-up dreams
Needing forgiveness for all the words
holding onto hateful screams
Lying dead in the dusty remains
wanting substance after far too long
Clawing at my one last breath
slipping into bleak nothingness
I've never been all that strong.

senseofurgency · Post by **senseofurgency** » 7/4/2003, 12:50 am

Don't know anything about poetry to be honest but I really like it

, this line really stands out for me though..

wanting substance after far too long

starseed_10 · Post by **starseed_10** » 7/5/2003, 4:59 pm

good line.

It's pretty good. the rhyme scheme was a bit confusing, but i liked it. Mind you I dont know anything about this either.

edit: i just re-read it. It's really good! it went a lot smoother that time.

Candy-coated Fake · Post by **Candy-coated Fake** » 7/6/2003, 3:39 pm

Yeah, the rhyming scheme is a little weird. I try to change my scheme all the time.