I was coming into my house when I felt something warm and gooey hit my head. Then I'm like I look up and theres nothing there....then I feel my head...then i was like .... ..... ....... ...........
I immeadiatly ran inside and stuck my head under the tap and washed the poo out....then something else happened. I forgot that My head is too big to fit under my tap...so my head get stunk in the sink.. I was like what a pickle!! So I fumble around for some lubricant and I find some petroleum jelly. I scoop some out and lube up my head.. It took some finessing but I got my head un stuck. So In the end my hair was full of jelly and bird poo..
Man I washed my hair a good 8 times after that..........I felt so dirty
Petroleum jelly is not good to use as a lubricant. What a pickle indeed!
!EMiLY!
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.
Nobody's gonna miss me, no tears will fall, no ones gonna weap, when i hit that road. my boots are broken my brain is sore, fer keepin' up with thier little world, i got a heavy load. gonna leave 'em all just like before, i'm big city bound, your always 17 in your hometown
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
I was in my dress blues inform in cadets. I was guard commander, and we marched to the park for a remembrance day ceremony, and a bunch of birds flew out of the tree and a few of us got shat on.
Good thing they were so small, it was un-noticable.
sweet blasphemy my giving tree
it hasn't rained in years
i bring to you this sacrificial offering of virgin ears
leave it to me i remain free from all the comforts of home
and where that is i'm pleased as piss to say
i'll never really know
once when i was 3 years old, i hit my head on a railing and my head was bleeding so i had to go to the hospital and get staples in my head. hmmm, maybe that explains why i get confused so often.
I can't say I've ever got my head stuck in anything...
I can't wait until the day schools are over-funded and the military is forced to hold bake sales to buy planes.
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about"
Know what? To make matters worse...I managed to spill some shampoo and soap all over the counter and floor and I manged to splash a large quantity of water everywhere!! Water+soap+shampoo=slippery floor.
So when I got my head un stuck....I managed to slip on the soapy,shampooy and waterer floor. I ended up doing the splits and it hurt like hell!! It felt like my ball sack was torn in two
I ended up laying on the floor for a while holding my gonads
I look up and theres nothing there....then I feel my head...then i was like 
.... 
....... 
........... 
what a pickle!! So I fumble around for some lubricant and I find some petroleum jelly. I scoop some out and lube up my head.. It took some finessing but I got my head un stuck. So In the end my hair was full of jelly and bird poo..
