The Official Rochy Diary as Recorded by The Passengers of Robert Palazzo's Tan Saturn
Transcribed, to the best of her abilities, by Kim Corry.
REALLY REALLY GODDAMN EARLY, some sidestreet in scary Philly: 8 inches of snow discovered covering said tan Saturn. The Aforementioned Robert Palazzo is made to clear off the car while said Passengers take shelter in his car.
About a half hour later, some ghetto road leaving Philly: Robert Palazzo is struck with a paralyzing fear as he suspects that he's left his wallet in JQ's dorm. Car is pulled over, Palazzo searches trunk for said wallet in merciless blizzard. Wallet found.
Circa 5 Minutes Later: Ice slowly collecting on the windshield creates an unnerving clicking noise when in contact with windshield wipers. The brave Robert Palazzo once again puts his life on the line and scrapes fearlessly at the ice, while driving, with only a gloved hand.
Circa 10 Minutes Later: Tractor trailer fire, road closed.
- Dead homelessman discovered dragging underneath car. Must have picked him up in ghetto Philly.
8:42 AM: Rob loses control of car. Much Swerving. All passengers come close to death.
8:54 AM: Rob loses control of car. Much Swerving. All passengers come close to death.
About 5 minutes later: It is discovered that lyrics of songs are coming true, hastily the song "Car Crash" is skipped over on the Clumsy album.
Soon after: someone's brights are flashing at us.
About an hour later: Driver and all four passengers are almost killed as said driver, Robert Palazzo, is distracted by a wintry hillside and murmurs "PRETTY..." Car almost crashes into guardrail.
A few minutes later: An eirie discovery is made; when tuned to a certain AM station, the radio static is in sync with the windshield wipers.
************HISTORICAL GAP. SECOND PAGE OF DIARY IS LOST TO HUMANITY*************
1:01 PM: Rob almost kills party while performing a 3-point turn on a four lane highway.
1:46 PM: WE realize that there is a REAL ROCHESTER. There
is a city!!
2:02 PM: Pick up Bethany and Sarah.
and here the fantastic history ends... who knows what became of them all!