I got this from my friend,
all you detroit people are gonna laugh:
Detroit Rules for Visitors:
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit
-NOT Dee-troit. If pronounced Dee-Troit then you must be
from Toledo for the country Music hoe-down.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit
has its own version of traffic rules . . . Hold on and pray!
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in
Detroit. Everyone drives like that.
3. When asking for directions, all directions start with,
"What do I look like - the #!#*!!# Triple A?"
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through rush hour
traffic on Jefferson as a "Scenic Drive".
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00am. The
evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour
starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the
first one off the starting line, count to five when the
light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any
cross-traffic's way and then again shot.
7. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native
of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.
(shane-er/grash-ot). (we call it grash it)
8. Construction and renovations on I-94, I-96, I-75 and 275
are a way of life and permanent form of entertainment. (aim
at the road crew )
9. All unexplained and unpleasant sights are simplified by
the phrase, "I guess we're not in Kansas anymore!"
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is
probably a factory defect OR can be explained as they are
out-of-towners.
11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have
total right-of-way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on 696 is 85 regardless of
the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright
SISSY.
13. The wrought iron on windows in Detroit is NOT
ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car.
14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper
sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading".
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60
mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so
friendly in Detroit'. I would suggest you duck.
16. 275/696 is our daily version of NASCAR.
17. You must go a quarter of a mile out of your way to make
a left hand turn.
