Ladies and gentlemen I think it’s time for another top 10 people to kill rant by yours truly. Sit back, relax and enjoy me going off on many people like Dennis Miller on pms having trouble with his tampon because he’s having a hard time working the wings on it.
10. all band members of new found glory – I had a date with that chick I mentioned on the board earlier and it was disastrous. She picks me up and sure enough, she drives like a mad woman. And to top it off, she’s got new found glory playing the whole fucking time. It sucked the nut big time. I swear if I hear head on collision one more time…
9. ass hole boyfriends – staying on the topic here, this fucking date turned a lot worse when her “current boyfriend” spotted us together, basically fooling around in her car. This mother fucker walks up and is like who the fuck are you?
Me: Reno….why?
Guy: well, what the fuck do you think your doing with my chick?
Me: well, actually I’m trying to tap that ass, so quit cock blocking me.
Guy: what the fuck dude? You want shit with me or what…that’s my chick…
Then this fucking argument starts up between my date and this ass hole about whether they are together or not or what the fuck…so I just step in…
Me: hey jackass, it’s obvious that you either suck in bed, you’re a shitty boyfriend, or to put it fucking bluntly, she doesn’t want to bother with your punk ass. So what the fuck you gonna leave her alone or do I have to kick your ass?
Sure enough, he wanted his ass kicked and he walks backwards with his hands out like c’mon and I get out, grab this guy, and slam him into his lifted Z-71, causing a dent in the door. A nice little forearm into his nose and that’s the end of that, I run back into the car (my date screaming for me to get back in) and we head out. This guy probably would have gotten into his truck but luckily for me, the dent fucked up the door bad enough to where it wouldn’t open. Overall this date sucked the nut, I was going to get some play but I ended up losing interest with the ass kicking screaming and what not…oh well, LP motto…Fuck it!
8. guys who lift trucks – so word spreads out and sure enough one of my friends with a lifted truck comes around asking what happened. I tell my story and he’s like dude seriously, he wants you to pay for the damages. Turns out this guy knows him and this guy is going to try and do something legal about it. this dude takes alot of pride in his lifted Z-71. I of course say I disagree and that he can go fuck himself and his truck can go to shit for all I care. Why the hell would anyone want to do that to a truck anyway? It’s just stupid. First off, you can’t hook a trailer to it, cause the ball on the bumper is too high, you can’t load stuff in the back because well, it’s too high. And even if you get something loaded into the truck how do you intend on getting it down….again it’s to damn high. As far as I’m concerned, trucks are work vehicles, and should be used for the sole purpose of hauling crap to and from areas of interest. Driving around in a lifted truck defeats the purpose of this.
7. Beck - sometimes I don’t think that’s real music.
6. Fidel Castro – Man, this isn’t out of hate or anything, in fact this guy is quite interesting. I like the guy. So why would I kill him? Well, let’s face it this dude here has been sucking down Cuban cigars for like ever and I would hate to see him suffer from lung cancer and other health issues in the future. Good olde Fidel, the trendy superstar that made wearing camos 24/7, smoking cigars, and growing grey beards look cool. And may we never forget Che Guevara! He had sone interesting things to say about urban warfare.
5. clear channel communications – congratulations you ass holes, you manages to take a monopolis style control over all mainstream rock and roll radio stations and make them as pop and trendy as the pop stations. You people are the main reason for the new xm wave and mp3’s cause you play the same olde crappola on the radio.
4. all child abductees and molestors – you know this would be higher up on my list if I weren’t too political, but non the less they die anyway. Who needs these fuckers, anyone willingly joining nambla should be killed and their head put on a pike as a warning for others. Fucking sickos.
3. the winners of my #1 position in my last poll – yeah…you wussy ass parents thought I was going to let you off the hook eh? Well guess what, I still hate you and your pussification of America. Next time I see someone jumping rope without a rope, I’m coming after you, you sick bastards! that's just a damn shame.
2. the dumb ass politician that thought of freedom fries – I forgot this dudes name and he’s lucky that I did. Cause dammit, it’s just unacceptable. You sir, make the republic look foolish and you make the opposition (communism and anarchy) look better. What the hell is wrong with you dude? Seriously? I can promise you that there are other things that are of more importance then fried taters. Let me list a few, roads, taxes, homeless, unemployment rate, teen pregnancy, economic struggles within your state, and hell let’s not forget the most important part of your freaking job, education. I see right through your little ploy you old timer, and thank god your not representing me. First off, I would be dying to run against you for your office come next term. Cause I’ll open up your little ploy of coming off like a patriot and the fighter of the “evil frenchies”. What my campaign would do would press the fact that you ignored the above articles of your position and instead pulled this bill/law, or piss ass excuse of one so that you can get re-elected on the hopefull basis on the fact that "you’re a patriot". That’s right I’m pro-war but this little stint you pulled off is lame and unacceptable while other more important laws and bills should be noticed and not this one in particular. Dammit son, your people should remove you from office on the basis of ignorance and incompetence.
1. the French mentality toward the whole world – ah yes this leaves my number one target, it being not so much an individual or group of individuals but rather a mentality of a group of individuals. The french. Look man I’m sure your nice people and all but what’s this we think it’s shit if it’s not French idea? Have you looked at the world around you and thought to yourself, you know what…those people over there got a cool ass way of making cars, or cheese or booze. But no, you think your top shit, don’t you…..well fuck you! Your army ain’t shit, seeing how it just basically rolled the red carpet out for the Nazi’s back in the day, and didn’t bother to lift a fucking finger about it. You weren’t too good for those bastards now were you? Wine…best wine in the world….i got news for you guys….no one cares. All they want to do is get plastered….as in hard liquor, beer, wine, whatever, the main point is let’s get drunk. I couldn’t tell the difference from boones and your stuff, all I know is that it all gets me where I wanna be…passed out drunk off my ass. Cheese? Is that what you guys have that’s better then everyone else in the world? Tell you what…the swiss have their own cheese, America has their own cheese, and god bless them Canadians got that Canadian bacon…..wait what?
But you know what, it all comes out of your ass brown and loggish, so in other words you make shit for a living. In conclusion your army has in history proven to be non-existent, and your booze does what scope could do, and your in the business of making an end product called shit. every other country produces some type of shit in some way/shape/or form. In conclusion we are all the same. The end.
if i offended anyone...sorry dep down inside i love you all.
BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!! 
I could just watch Robin Williams go off for, well, forever. 
