ClumsyMonkey.net

thats some funny shit!

heres a picture

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i was trying to draw a guitar, but when i posted it the lines messed up

damn lines

not for the gun one though, thats supposed to be a gun

*clumsyrific* wrote:no, no, seriously, Susie, I'm not kidding. you can ask Chang when he's on here (Iceraven).

or better yet, check out this website www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/

"This way, we either end President Hussein's reign of terror, or all the members of Creed get killed in a grizzly, bloody death. It's win-win."

that just made my day.

I LOVE this one:

Greek Rush Set Mandatory Quotas for Underrepresented Groups: Brunettes, Engineers, Goths, Real Greek People

ANN ARBOR -- Last week, the University of Michigan instituted a new affirmative action policy that will apply to any and all student activities, including the annual Greek Rush.

Sororities now must permit at least five natural brunettes, five women over 130 pounds and two Goth girls to pledge. Fraternities face similar sanctions with a mandatory ratio of three engineers to every one athlete, the new "3/1" rule,as well as mandatory admittance of one real Greek person.

An emergency meeting called by the Interfraternity Council provided a forum for the outrage felt by many of its members. Greg Lucas, a junior in Psi Psi Omega and chair of their Rush Committee, expressed anger and shock through a prepared statement, "At Psi O, we must demand only quality partiers. We cannot dilute our power by admitting socially challenged, bumbling, 'where does a keg stand, and what are its aerodynamic qualities?' engineers. And it's in our bylaws that anybody wearing a toga is strictly forbidden. What do they think this is, some sort of non-black-ass-pants partying house? We refuse to adhere to this policy!"

Mr.Lucas concluded with an extemporaneous plea for mercy from the IFC, "I mean,dudes,come on!"

Even stronger controversy raged throughout the Pan Hellenic Association, because the new affirmative action policy imposes even stricter quotas on the sororities. Mandatory testing of members' hair colors will be used to determine the compulsory ratios of natural brunettes to Clairol blondes. The kinesiology department will take required body-mass index assessments of all sorority women to ensure that more than five members are at least twenty pounds overweight. Calipers will be employed to prevent women from passing breast implants off as excess weight.

Trisha Thomas, a representative from Kappa Chi Gamma, as noted by the large block letters KCG on her ass, argued vehemently for a reexamination of the policy.

"There is no way, like, absolutely no way, we'd ever allow like anyone who's not nearly bulimic enough in Kappa. If you can't purge, you can't party."

Yesterday, protesters from various Houses marched on the Diag with placards that screamed "No Go on Goths!" "Like, Totally Not Happening" and chanting "North Campus Stay Home, Party (Play Networked Counterstrike on Your Networked Computers) Alone!"

The under represented groups, affiliated under the aegis of BAMN, launched counter-protests, carrying neatlyprinted signs reading, "We Won with 3-1," "We Want the Chance to Die From Undisclosed Causes" and mumbling something about "we like to party too, yeah!"

A member of Alpha Kappa Epsilon, who wished to remain anonymous, commented on the reactions, "We feel an aura of unity in the air. We must deal with this air."

Under represented pledges reacted to the news with optimism, championing this rule change as a giant step for all the socially isolated, from Trekkies to Weight Watchers.

"I may finally meet a girl!" a giddy engineer announced in the EECS atrium. He promptly fainted and was carried away by an entourage of bespectacled classmates as they murmured, "what are these strange 'girl' creatures of which he speaks?"

Marie Wilkenson,a 5'5" 195-pound Chi Beta Beta pledge, was thrilled to learn she might enjoy the chance to "party in the big leagues" thanks to the new quota system. "I had totally given up. I tried last year, and the year before that, but I could never fit into the size 0 low-rise black pants. The Chis rejected me then, but this Fall Rush, they're being so nice and friendly and everything by only rolling their eyes at me instead of rolling their eyes at me and sighing loudly. I bet we'll be sisters real soon!"

U Announces 5-year, $600M Renovation of Scaffolding


ANN ARBOR -- Citing the need for constant maintenance and building for the future, the University announced its largest construction project to date.


This construction is not really construction. Rather, it is a life-size version of the game "Chutes and Ladders"
"Scaffolding has been the most important structure on all of campus over the past three years," said Eric McMurphy, Director of University Development. "It only makes sense to put forth the investment to make this University the best scaffolded University in the world."

Unveiling the construction plans at a press conference Thursday, President Mary Sue Coleman voiced optimism about the project. "When I first came to Michigan, what really struck me as setting this campus apart from every other is that every building is in shambles and surrounded by scaffolding. If there's one thing I learned in my tenure at Iowa, it's that you better have some good scaffolding. Actually, that's the only thing I learned in my tenure at Iowa. I mean, it's fucking Iowa."

While the University could have started anew by purchasing new scaffolding at Home Depot for about $500, Coleman said, "We need to put in the investment if we want to be able to keep this campus in its current state of perpetual construction."

The scaffolding facelift project includes moving a four-ton crane onto the Diag, and, to make room for the construction, tearing down the Graduate and Undergraduate Libraries as well as the newly refurbished Haven Hall. The Union will be demolished out of spite. Additionally, the original plans to firebomb South Quad have been modified to merely throwing every computer in the ninth floor library out the windows and onto the roof of West Quad.

"Remember, that tuition money you're spending isn't for improving classes or something stupid like that," Vice President of Academic Affairs Paul N. Courant said. "It's for us to spend hilariously, in a manner that would suggest we're all just a bunch of Home Improvement fanatics who want to build things, but screw them up, then piss off Jill, then go talk to Wilson, take his advice, screw that up too, and then have Jill forgive us for some reason.

"Arr, arr, arr," the provost then added.

Coleman urged students to remember that the she and fellow faculty have a plan for improving the learning environment, and she asked for their patience.

"The current students need to make sacrifices for the generations to come so that they too can make sacrifices for students to come after them," Coleman said. "Now let's start tearing these buildings apart." Coleman then let out a blood-curdling shriek and threw a cinder block through one of the large plate glass windows in Dennison. When told that demolishing Dennison was not in the renovation plans, Coleman replied, "well, we can just fix that with some masking tape. It'll be good as new. Well, not really, but at least as good as the rest of this hell-hole campus."

that site that somone posted on here doesnt work...i have a pic to post but dont know how

then use the add attachment feature.

i hope this works

this pic has been on my comp for like 5 years. as you could see the one the right was done using photoshop and the one on the left i did now when i didnt have photoshop, all i had was paint.

im the one on the left, i looked too fucked up so i had to edit me up. and the other person is my friend which i morphed up before just to piss him off.

I'm scared.

Hold me.

i cant hold you, your probably scared of me.

Bags! You're right.

I'll just hold myself.

I'll hold anyone who wants to be held.

hold me lori...

WOH HOH HOH!

Pizza The Hut

If you want, he'll hold you.

how do you know he hasn't already, i gave him the best 30 years of my life then when i found out he wasn't in Starwars episode 1 i dumped his ass.