TTYNKAM (TYPDCAA) IV

Post by **saman** » 11/6/2011, 9:36 pm

i need to vent.

i'm having my bridal henna party next weekend and my mom and i had sat down and discussed and made a list of people to invite. i invited a few of my close friends, but left out a lot of people i knew well but wasn't too close with. i told her i wasn't comfortable with inviting people i didn't know and who weren't that well known to us, but mom knew, not well mind you, a couple of people whom i didn't know that she wanted to invite, and i agreed to those people in the end. now every time she goes somewhere and meets someone new or some random person we barely know, she invites her to the party, despite the fact that i don't know them, they don't know me, and hell, most of the time she doesn't even know them herself. she. keeps. fucking. doing. it. it makes me angry so i keep telling her to stop but she still keeps doing it. she met some new person today and told me she was going to invite her, and when i said no she basically told me to keep my mouth shut. it actually made me so angry i wanted to hit something. here i am, wanting to keep it intimate and deliberately not inviting people i've known for years, and she keeps inviting everybody she meets who is able to have a conversation with her.

she apologized on skype later but i'm still furious. my mom seems to think that because she introduced me and my fiance to each other and is paying for a traditional wedding, that my opinions and wishes don't mean squat. once or twice when something like this has happened before during wedding planning, she's actually told me that what i want doesn't matter.

fuck. i'm actually frustrated beyond belief. i'm not a bridezilla or anything, anyone who knows me knows how laid back i am. but i don't think my requests or opinions are unreasonable, and in the end, this is my wedding and it's going to be etched into my mind and my life forever, and i have a right to want it be a happy memory.

Post by **xjsb125** » 11/7/2011, 9:06 am

Elope. Go to the local courthouse, get married, spend all that money on the honeymoon. Wedding planning blows.

I have about a million questions regarding your wedding.

Why don't you set up something on your own with just a few of your very good friends? Ask your mom if you can do the party with the millions, and millions of her people she invited. Smile and be sociable. Maybe afterward you and your close friends can have some time together?

Post by **saman** » 11/7/2011, 10:27 am

the courthouse thing is already done. we're technically already married. in pakistani culture, weddings are a huge, step by step process. there's the engagement, the prewedding celebrations where people wish the bride and the groom luck, the actual paper signing, the giving away ceremony from the bride's side, and the reception from the groom's side. as the first step in the process, engagements don't have much significance because they're considered breakable if necessary. when we got engaged, my parents wanted us to take it a step further and make it legal and binding by signing a marriage contract, especially since we would be living apart for so long. i initially had no intentions of doing so, but when i saw how unhappy my parents were, i conceded on the condition that i would still have all the rest of my wedding and all its little ceremonies the way i want.

and that's the thing about this henna party. it's not just any old party, it's actually part of the wedding celebrations, part of the complete package. the bride is blessed and wished luck and happiness by family and friends before she goes to her new home. i consider it a fairly intimate thing. and having a bunch of random people there whom i don't know and who don't know me, and in some cases people i don't even like, frankly just sucks.

anyway, fine, i can deal with a few unwanted guests at my henna ceremony if i have to. what i really can't stand is my parents' controlling attitude towards this whole wedding process. they seriously seem to think they have the right to plan my wedding their way and not heed my input or wishes. and because my parents are paying, and i don't want to fight or argue, i always bend in the end. but i swear to baby Jesus if my mother tells me to shut up and keep my opinions to myself again on any aspect of this wedding, i'm going to cancel the whole thing, pack up and fly to pakistan and just be with my husband, and then just throw a general reception in a year or so when i have enough money to pay for it myself. what's the point of punishing myself by being apart from my s/o for the sake of the wedding when i won't be happy about the wedding anyway?

Post by **xjsb125** » 11/7/2011, 12:43 pm

I'm adviceless here. But feel free to vent!

Post by **saman** » 11/7/2011, 9:39 pm

thanks matt <3. today was a majorly sucky day, but i'll be alright. blew up at my mom a bit today and now she's mad at me too lol. i think i have anger management issues. i feel better when i talk to my s/o. sadly he lives half a world away and when it's day here, it's night there and vice versa :/

Post by **xjsb125** » 11/8/2011, 8:40 am

So we don't know anything about your Hubs. The people (mostly me) want the scoop.

Unrelated, Owen puked his little guts up 3 times last night.

Apparently the diced pears didn't make friendly with him.

Kicker774 · Post by **Kicker774** » 11/9/2011, 11:37 am

With my fiance' being from Kazakhstan I really wish for her that we can do a handful of the similar traditions as well from over there.

But barely enough money right now to fly back over let alone my own direct family.

On the bright spot Lily hasn't had any puking fits. Just sopping wet diapers overnight from time to time.

laurel · Post by **laurel** » 1/29/2012, 8:37 pm

hm. well then.

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 2/2/2012, 1:03 pm

Laurel is smelly.

Post by **faninor** » 2/2/2012, 1:13 pm

Maybe that's just the birds that pooped on your head? Wash your hair dude!

Also, hi both you! :clumsy:

laurel · Post by **laurel** » 2/2/2012, 9:05 pm

i prefer the term stinky for myself, actually.

and hello!

AnnieDreams · Post by **AnnieDreams** » 2/4/2012, 3:02 pm

Hey guys, I'm posting through ourladypeace.com! Trippy!
...and probably completely old news. It's been awhile. What's up? People have babies and husbands now?

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 2/8/2012, 9:52 pm

laurel wrote:i prefer the term stinky for myself, actually.

and hello!

Never. It shall be smelly!

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 2/9/2012, 12:10 pm

AnnieDreams wrote:What's up? People have babies and husbands now?

I now have six illegitimate children - by five women including Johnny's mom.

AnnieDreams · Post by **AnnieDreams** » 2/9/2012, 2:45 pm

Congrats? Is this a congratulations situation?

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 2/9/2012, 4:46 pm

AnnieDreams wrote:Congrats? Is this a congratulations situation?

Breeding with Johnny's madre is definitely worth a high five.

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 2/10/2012, 5:48 pm

You shoulda pulled out dude, or at least stuck to the back door. :no:

AnnieDreams · Post by **AnnieDreams** » 2/10/2012, 7:21 pm

Little sibling gets all the attention, huh?

Johnny · Post by **Johnny** » 2/13/2012, 2:30 pm

Yes, but they bring in that oh so large child benefit cheque every month.

Random Name · Post by **Random Name** » 2/16/2012, 2:22 pm