nikki4982 wrote::GASP: You couldn't pay me any amount of money to do that.
Also, Tom's new avatar = awesome.
I used to say that too. But lately, I think because I'm quite depressed and bored with life, I've had really strong urges to go skydiving, bungee jumping, etc.
I've been feeling really down lately and thought it would pass but it's just gotten worse. Today, with a wallet full of gift cards, I went to the mall to do some shopping. I went in and out of all my favourite stores but was really distracted about the crap that I'm dealing with right now, and I came home empty handed and in tears
Free money + shopping trip should = one happy Kathy, but now I feel worse than when I left
beautiful liar wrote:thanks sooz *hugs*
and kathy, i know how you feel
What's the matter?
Queens Of The Stone Age-Someone's In The Wolf Once you're lost in twillights's blue
You don't find your way, the way finds you...
Tempt the fates, beware the smile
It hides all the teeth, my dear,
What's behind them...
So glad you could stay
Forever
He steps between the trees, a crooked man
There's blood on the blade
Don't take his hand
You warm by the firelight, in twilight's blue
Shadows creep & dance the walls
He's creeping too..
It's a long story. But basically everything is crappy. I've been pushing away all my friends over the last few years as I get uncomfortable when people get too close and make me vulnerable... and it's finally working... my efforts to isolate myself are working. Now I feel really lonely. I've been having awful nightmare flashbacks of stuff. My parents hate me even more than normal. My sister has moved in with her abusive bf and won't talk to me. Work is not going well right now. And the one thing that I can always count on to keep me sane and safe, my marriage... well, we're having problems right now. So it feels like the whole world is falling apart because I have no one to turn to for help or a listening ear. I deal with a lot on a regular basis but I always have my husband to turn to and right now I just... don't have anyone.
Wow... it's hard to type when drinking... I had to put this into Word, correct the green and red underlined stuff, and then paste it back
<I><B>"I know this sounds corny, and I might be a little bit drunk, but honest to god, thank you everybody"</B></I>
Kathy14 wrote:It's a long story. But basically everything is crappy. I've been pushing away all my friends over the last few years as I get uncomfortable when people get too close and make me vulnerable... and it's finally working... my efforts to isolate myself are working. Now I feel really lonely. I've been having awful nightmare flashbacks of stuff. My parents hate me even more than normal. My sister has moved in with her abusive bf and won't talk to me. Work is not going well right now. And the one thing that I can always count on to keep me sane and safe, my marriage... well, we're having problems right now. So it feels like the whole world is falling apart because I have no one to turn to for help or a listening ear. I deal with a lot on a regular basis but I always have my husband to turn to and right now I just... don't have anyone.
Wow... it's hard to type when drinking... I had to put this into Word, correct the green and red underlined stuff, and then paste it back
from mg's blog and his contributor daniel regelbrugge
Carry all the lessons of your life with you, no matter how burdensome, or painful. Take some comfort where you can, and most of all, stay true to yourself. For this is neither the time for sadness, nor disease. Throw your arms around the new day, and savor the possibilities of the days that stretch before you. This is, most of all, a time to celebrate life. So let it be.
*hugs* When you have the CM, you always have a shoulder to cry on and an ear to that will listen. Or me at least, you can talk to me I will listen, maybe it'll help, maybe not, but the offer is on the table. It does suck to push friends away, I have done that before myself and lets just say that doing that ended very badly and I regret pushing that friend away because now I will never have the chance to fix it. Have you ever thought about trying to reestablish a connection with your friends? It's never to late to do so. I'm sure your parents do not hate you, but you could try to discuss it with them, and if they do hate you well you deserve much better. You are far to good a person to be hated. As for your sister, i'm sorry to hear about her abusive boyfriend but if you can ever talk to her try to reach out for her, one of the methods of abuse is isolation from friends and family, so that might be why she isn't talking to you, nothing personal. Work can be rough, but you are a strong person and you can make it through, is it problems with coworkers? stress? Marriages and relationships all go through rough patches, but you can make it through that as well. Be open and honest with your husband, talk about the problems you two are facing and if neccessary seek marital counselling. Your husband loves you, just as you love him. Oh and drinking doesn't solve much, so try and go easy on that.
Queens Of The Stone Age-Someone's In The Wolf Once you're lost in twillights's blue
You don't find your way, the way finds you...
Tempt the fates, beware the smile
It hides all the teeth, my dear,
What's behind them...
So glad you could stay
Forever
He steps between the trees, a crooked man
There's blood on the blade
Don't take his hand
You warm by the firelight, in twilight's blue
Shadows creep & dance the walls
He's creeping too..
Good post Rusty. Kathy, we're here if you need us. Also, I was watching the VHS of Live @ Much and saw you on the TV. You're gorgeous, you should post more in the CMer's pics thread
<nam_kablam> I'll be naked holding a ":O" sign while pumping their door
Kathy... I'm not too good with words, but... *hugs* I'm sure everything'll get better. Hopefully soon.
<table><tr><td>~ Nikki Edwards
Queen of the Harpies <img src="../phpBB2/files/queen_of_harpies.gif" align="texttop"></td><td><font color="orange">President of the Pookie Brigade</font> "If you put those on the internet, I'll kill you guys!" - Jer</td></tr></table>
<center><img src="../phpBB2/files/squiggle.gif">
<font color="#3C8C8B">Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try, no hell below us,
above us only sky, imagine all the people, <font color="#FFFFFF">living</font> for today...</font>
<font color="#50B4B3">Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die
for, no religion too, imagine all the people, living <font color="#FFFFFF">life</font> in peace...</font>
Whenever death may surprise us,
let it be welcome
if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear
and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.
Nobody's gonna miss me, no tears will fall, no ones gonna weap, when i hit that road.
my boots are broken my brain is sore, fer keepin' up with thier little world, i got a heavy load.
gonna leave 'em all just like before, i'm big city bound, your always 17 in your hometown
I guessed it was your eye, since you mentioned eye-smacking. It would have been odd if it were the right something else but you decided to smack your eye instead.
Open your eyes to nights and days, you close them up and float away
and somehow inbetween you've got to master lying to yourself
you back the cause, get out of school, you get a job, the job gets you
and somehow every day you end up serving somebody else
now if that ain't panic that you're feeling, then you damn well better start
you can drive it into that head of yours with the hammer in your heart.
And it's alriiiiiiiight now, take the world and make it yours again.
*hugs*
