ClumsyMonkey.net

oh man... drunken brawls, there were a few of those at the party i threw at my house... well actually it was more like joe wrestling random girls.

i'm proud to say that i'm the only one that put up a good enough fight to call it a draw.

lol... then when my mom got home the next day i had to somehow explain why a huge patch of the lawn was completely flattened and torn up.

Crazy mofo's

i tend to be very outgoing, funny, witty, and lose volume control. I'm witty when i'm sober, but and often funny, but i'm not very much of an extravert, so people find me hilliarious to watch when i;m drunk cause i'm so diffrent

I've been told I dance well when I'm drunk.

How you doin'?

how about we make our ways to a party together...me, you, a bottle of Bacardi and a mix cd of Ramon Ayala/Mana/Alejandro Sanz/Juan Gabriel.

heh, heh, giggity giggity.......aaallllllllright!!!!!

giggity giggity giggity!

"Sir, you can't park your van on the diving board. OH it's just a FAT kid"

"I'd do anything to you, lois."
"what?"
"I'd do anything for you, lois."

FUNNY STORY: happened last night around 9:15 PM eastern

I live on the street where most of the bars in town are.....like a block and a half up. I'm just far away not to hear all the people standing outside about how cold it is and the fact that they have their niccotine stick shoved in their mouths.

Anyways....

I have a balcony because I live in the upstairs apartment. My best friend Kenny and I are standing out here because he wanted a smoke.....next thing we see is this drunken FOOL stumbliing down the sidewalk, away from the bars, and passing by the house.

Within a section of sidewalk that was about ten yards, he stumbled into the street three times.....we were dying laughing at me, and he heard us because he starred right up at us: I yelled, "how's it goin!?" he just mumbled and kept walking

So.....about another half a block down (just before a bridge) he dropped something, went to pick it up, Kenny was like "he's not gonna be able to get up after this" and WHACK.....head first into the sidewalk

He was down for like 3 minutes, I was like "hell with this" so I called down to the station and told them to send an officer to get this dude. I was like "he's so highly intoxicated that getting back up from falling on the sidewalk doesn't appear to be an option"

So 2 cops show up about a minute and a half later, flash flashlights all over him, and I think they took him to the "drunk tank".

i got a drunken story the boys will like. i was at my brother's wedding and had been drinking. after the reception, me and my brothers friends decided to go to a bar, but i didn't want to wear my bridesmaids dress, so i was going to change out of it in the bathroom. when i was chaning in the bathroom, i thought one of the other bridesmaids was in the stall next to me so i was talking to her. and then i couldn't unzip my dress in the back so, me thinking it was the other bridesmaid, i asked her to help me and i come out of the stall and it is some girl i have never met in my life. needless to say, i had some random girl i have never met taking off my clothes.

That could've happened not drunk, though. God, I HATE it when you're talking to someone thinking it's someone you're with, and it turns out to be a complete stranger.

that reminds me off when your a kid and your following yor parents in a crowd and end up tugging on some strangers coat and calling them "mom"

Penis

i wish i had time to drink.

lol that sounded rather alcoholic

Clumsyboy wrote:that reminds me off when your a kid and your following yor parents in a crowd and end up tugging on some strangers coat and calling them "mom"

oh my god....i did that when I was a little kid..at Farmer Jack in Melvindale (hehe nobody knows where that is) and I was sooooo embarrassed. When my mom and I went home I cried so much because i was so embarrassed.

i got lost doing that once in the biggest mall east of montreal. it wasnt fun
it was christmas time
i thought they left without me (my folks)
i started wandering aimlessly when some lady took me to security.. then they paged my folks.. my dad ignored the page as usual (he never bothers to listen and figured it was about "some useless sale")
my mom heard it and ran
(or so im told i dont remember too much other than crying and being pissed off at them for ditching me.. when in reality i mistakenly thought they ditched me and went off on an expedition to find them)

I have this friend of mine who likes to pretend to be drunk when shes around alcohol. Its hilerious. She becomes this accident-prone outgoing and among other things strange person but she hasn't had a drop (or an amazingly small amount) of alcohol. Its this big joke now because shes done it everytime that situation arises. my friends are crazy...

ha this girl did that a party we were at.... she totally overdid the "drunk" acting and her parents came to get her and... well she was grounded for like 59048534908 years. this was before the summer and she's still only allowed ONE hour of internet a week loser