For anyone who for some reason thinks I'm sane...
Posted: 1/3/2005, 4:34 am
I present to you an e-mail I sent to my friends when I was 15.
Young Nikki on lotsa crack wrote:Subject: <b>Read this NOW or you will die!!! (Not really, but it sounds cool)</b>
Date: Tue, 31 Mar 1998 17:27:41 -0500
From: Bruce Edwards (bwedw@erols.com)
To: Eric Cornellis (soundwave@swampdonkey.com) Jessica Lynch (Gem6621@aol.com), Sarah Favorite (Jester4271@aol.com), Seth Ratajski (save_ferris21@yahoo.com), Shauna McCarthy (Eire98@aol.com)
Here's a key for you guys, so this isn't so confusing:
*words* - narrator speaking or sound effect
"words" - you're speaking
<b>'words'</b> - the last dude's speaking
<i>'words'</i> - I'm quoting something I already said
Hi, Everybody!!! "Hi, Dr. Nick!!!" OK, I'm writing to you all with the same e-mail so none of you get jealous... you might kill somebody or something... and that wouldn't be good. Ummmm... did I tell you all about how I can get channel 113 on my TV??? That's pretty wierd, especially since it's UPN... uhhh... this is why I don't write e-mail, I don't know what to say... ummm... SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!!!... sorry, just wanted to get a song in all of your heads, tell me if it worked... ummmm... eauhhhh... uhhhh... duhhhh... ooohhhh... hmmmm... snarfblast! Uhhh, yeah... ok... ummmm... (back to this)... *SNEEZE!* *splat* "ewww!"... sorry, I sneezed...... :) ... he's happy. "Who's happy?" Him! "Who?" That dude back there! Between <i>'sorry, I sneezed......'</i> and <i>'... he's happy'</i>! See him??? "No..." Well, you're all blind and stupid, so there! You all suck!!! "No we're not, so tell us who the (choice profanity) you're talking about!!!" *Nikki stands up from her computer, walks over to your house and pokes you in the eye with her rabbid weasil* I'm talking about that dude between <i>'sorry, I sneezed......'</i> and <i>'... he's happy'</i>!!!!!! He looks like this: {:), except that's his twin brother, Thug, king of all happy dudes (that thing on his head is a crown)...... Well... "Well, what???"... well, bow!!!... "Why???"... He's the king!!!... *Nikki stands up from her computer (again), walks over to your house and pokes you in the eye with her rabbid weasil's brother, Fred* "Ouch!!!" Ha, you deserved that... "Why?" Because you didn't bow for Thug, and now he's not happy anymore... so all the happy dudes are now angry dudes, because they all have to follow their king... ... ut oh... the king's really mad, look at him! "I can't see him." You stupid blind morons!!! He's right between <i>'follow their king...'</i> and <i>'...ut oh...'</i> "No he's not." Yes he is you retards!!! Are you all blind???!!!... Wait, where'd he go??? He's not there... Oops... sorry... *Thug jumps out of the computer and pokes Nikki in the eye with her rabbid weasil* Ouch! That hurts!... {>:( ... There he is! (<-- back there between <i>'That hurts!...'</i> and <i>'... There he is!'</i>) *Thug jumps out of the computer and pokes Nikki in the other eye with her rabbid weasil (He had fun doing it the first time)* Ouch!!! Now I'm blind!!! You poked both eyes out!!! Are you happy now, Thug???... {:) ... You'd better not be smiling... I can't see you because I'm bling (but I can still type... hmmmm...), but you'd better not be smiling... {:D ... Why do I know he's smiling?... Oh well, this will teach you: *Nikki pokes Thug in the eye with her rabbid weasil* {ð( ... ha! You're not smiling now, are you??? >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( OH MY GOD!!!!!! IT'S A WHOLE ARMY OF ANGRY DUDES!!! THE KING WANTS REVENGE!!!! (I can see the army because I'm not blind anymore... "Gee wiz, you heal fast, Nikki!!!" Yeah, I sure do.) OH MY GOD!!! SAVE ME!!!!! *The army attacks Nikki, and she tries to save herself by poking a few of their eyes out with her rabbid weasil* >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( ... *she successfully gets three* AHHHHH!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! *The army has killed Nikki* :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :( ... "Hey, last dude, why are you sad???" <b>'Because I killed Kenny'</b> "You bastard!" On that note, goodbye... >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( ... I'm dead!!! Really!!! I'm still dead, I just used my last breath to say goodbye, so leave me alone!!!... :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :( ... Whew, got outta that one!... >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ð( >:( >:( >:( >:( ...I mean... OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *plop* *the dudes were especially cruel to Nikki this time because she lied to them and said she was dead when she really wasn't... and they don't like the narrator very much, either, because he... I mean I... lied and said she was dead too, so they killed him... WHAT???... THEY KILLED HIM!!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!!! And the narrator dies* *plop*
- last words written by Nicole René Edwards as she was murdered by the dudes...
:) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ð) :) :) :) :) ... (even the last one's smiling now... he really didn't like that narrator)
No, it's not. At all.
