ClumsyMonkey.net

Malls Of The Damned

"Darth Maul": Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like "mall". Coincidence?

If Secular Consumerism is the new false religion, then its temple is the Shopping Mall. This is where those deluded into Secular Consumerism go and unwittingly take part in anti-Christian activities; this is where the Santamas propaganda and indoctrination are distributed; this is where the moral foundation of our society is being attacked; and this is where we as Christians must go to battle for the souls of the unsaved against the forces of Secularism.

"But surely malls are just places of commerce, not deliberate attempts to lead people away from Christ," you may be thinking to yourself. Unfortunately the facts point to the malls' knowing complicity with the cause of anti-Christian Secularism. Besides the complete lack of Christian references in their so-called Christmas displays and decorations (just try and find a Cross or depiction of the Baby Jesus amongst all the Santas and snowmen and shiny balls), more subtle subconscious suggestions of Secularism's anti-Christian stance can be found by studying the names of common mall stores:

J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!).
Sears - What the flesh of the damned does in Hell. It also sounds like "seers", Pagan mystics who engaged in occult premonitions.
Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".
Orange Julius - Named for the Pagan Emperor of Rome. This company's mascot was once a devil, until they changed it to hide their true intentions.
Hot Topic - A recent store aimed at children that openly sells devil paraphernalia. Any guess as to why "hot" is in their name?
Hallmark Gold Crown Stores - Purveyors of Santamas tree ornaments depicting anthropomorphized woodland creatures (reference to Evolutionism) and Harry Potter merchandise. What notable person will have a mark and wear crowns? [Rev. 13:16, 13:1]

Clearly there are ulterior motives evident. Even the word "mall" evokes evilness being a homonym for "maul" - the violent rending of flesh - and "mal" - Latin for "bad" and root for words like "malicious" and "malevolent". These Malls of the Damned - open even on Sunday! - are no innocent business centers, but active parties in the conspiracy to promote Secularism.

As you can see, malls are wastelands of Secularism and anti-Christian propaganda, and those that are driven there by the lies of Secular Consumerism need help to find their way back to the path of Salvation. As Christians, it is our duty and pleasure to help them. That is why we must become Mall Missionaries.

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They're serious, too

http://objective.jesussave.us/mallmission.html

Check out the halloween page as well... MERCY

I just found the best line in the whole site!!

"Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets."

That's just.. scary.

People suck.

:lol::lol: thats great shit
apparently some kid refused to learn darwninism at my brothers school on the grounds of it being against his religious beliefs.
my brothers teacher told him to shut up and read

oh yeah.. my brother is in highschool attending a magnet/ib school that is considered one of the best public schools in the states (which is apparently measured by the # of IB diplomas that students get or something like that)
but basically the kids are smart. .. not that non-religious kids arent smart or anything btw .. yeah i'll shut up

Anyone else notice the ad at the bottom of the giant rant on consumerism, encouraging people to visit their store and buy "fun christian gifts"?

Sheesh. people do suck nut

*Sigh* Those kinds of sites make me embarrassed about being a Christian.

Even sadder is a lot of those kinds of sites arent run by christians at all. I've ran into a site that is apparently run by some dude simply trying to get a laugh by posting bogus religous stuff. (Also making the Christian religion look stupid in the proccess)

*Goes to look at the site*

Oh... its the same one. A few months ago they posted a "Christian Science Fair" award. As i recall the winnner was a little girl who proved that evolution is false by comparing a monkey to her uncle joe or something like that.

happeningfish wrote:"Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets."

^^ you're probably right, it's more than likely not Christian seeing as how the pope recognizes evolution as "more than just a theory".

Wow, whoever wrote that must be just pulling all of that out of their ass. First off most major department stores are named after people (i.e. JC Penney is named after founder James Cash Penney who must of course be the devil incarnate) and when complaining about nothing religious being with all the Santas and Snowmen where do they mention anything about the need for other holidays from other religions needing to be recognized? Some people just need to look at the bigger picture, you can't please everyone of every faith. That and a little research into the history of the stores they're using as examples wouldn't hurt either.

Holy crap! Click the ad at the bottom ( http://www.christiananswers.net/dinosaurs/home.html ).

Hahahaha, I like how they try to play it off to the kiddies as if it were widely accepted that dinosaurs really did roam the earth a mere 4000 years ago alongside human beings...[/url]

sYdeshowFreek wrote:Wow, whoever wrote that must be just pulling all of that out of their ass. First off most major department stores are named after people (i.e. JC Penney is named after founder James Cash Penney who must of course be the devil incarnate) and when complaining about nothing religious being with all the Santas and Snowmen where do they mention anything about the need for other holidays from other religions needing to be recognized? Some people just need to look at the bigger picture, you can't please everyone of every faith. That and a little research into the history of the stores they're using as examples wouldn't hurt either.

They are pulling it out of their ass. The site is bogus.

i hope it's bogus. but you do know there are the ocasional bastards out there that really think this way.

Bandalero wrote:i hope it's bogus. but you do know there are the ocasional bastards out there that really think this way.

Of course there are. You'll find people with warped points of view in every religion. You'll find them in politics, schools, everywhere.

some people can be so stupid

*prays for smite to fall upon the idiot that wrote that crap*

I giggled when I saw the picture of that woman with the security guards wearing helmets. Helmets!

Haha i know. That picture alone spells bogus.

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.


-the kids section is great, check out the very last "fun activity" on this page:
http://objective.jesussave.us/kidzcrafts.html

Bahaha! "Caution: Pointy edges. Not for children under 5."