ClumsyMonkey.net

I wrote this about something a friend of mine said to me about how I hide my emotion, what do you guys think...

...

"behind these hazel eyes"

as I sit here feigning indifference, I know there's something more
it beats inside my still frail heart, less and less a chore
we all have places inside ourselves, but mine still shakes my soul
and whenever I try to let it out, it all reveals so droll

there beats a heart and lives a thought that does much more than's shown
but fear and doubt cloud my judgement and it all remains my own
so many spend their lives, searching for a perfect place to hide
and my place is right in front of you, behind these hazel eyes

in my days I've seen the failures of many, scared by loss and truth
but I've also seen that spark of inspiration, lying at the root
perhaps someday I'll show the world, this world inside myself
but for now I'll slide down in my chair, and leave my soul to shelf

I dig it bro.

pretty good.

we all have places inside ourselves, but mine still shakes my soul
but whenever I try to let it out, it all reveals so droll

these two lines are a bit awkward imo (the double "but" and "it all reveals so droll"). Otherwise i like it.

thanks for the feeback guys

*ponders and makes small edit*

wrote this about an hour ago...

"learn just to be"

I've been thinking a lot lately,
about the meaning of life
about how it's all just so stately
and how we deal with strife

can we change the hand we're dealt
or is it predestined as the day
can the sands of time be felt
or can nothing go astray

I hope to God there's freewill,
because if not then what's it all for
I like to think I can just stand still
and not move on anymore

as far as the answer goes,
it's probably best we can't see
let's just reap what is sewn
and learn just to be

"I'll just be still"

a deluge of sound,
the world spins on it's axis
make it around,
because no one can stop this

can't power down,
everything just keeps moving
rip off your crown
when you do what you're doing

false identity reigns
we just can't find a way out
try and change lanes
in my mind you can shout

an outpouring of thought
pictures beam in my head
you shouldn't have fought
I'll just go in your stead

coffee and words
they just keep us on
fly like a bird,
just see what you've done

I wish I could stop
but the world never will
the picture will crop,
and I'll just be still

holy mother of fuck.

I wrote something that almost identical to "learn just to be" a little while ago. Or at least the first stanza was. Thats creepy.

"I wish I could be fine"

I can't admit to my heart
the doubt and truth I'm feeling
give it another week or two
but I can't keep on dealing

when I see you I think it's love
but when you look back I can't tell
I always thought we'd rise above,
but I don't even know what I feel

and when you pull away and say it's nothing
I know there's so much more behind
I can see enough to know it's something
but the truth you won't let me find

a plastic life for a plastic world
why can't I just be happy
my thoughts can fade to grey,
but I know I'll just keep lapsing

you tell the world we're doing fine
I'm the only one in the dark
but sometimes you can be so kind
the shades are just too stark

or maybe in time I'll get it,
is this happiness, I don't know?
guess I lost my ticket,
'cause I've never seen the show

on some level it's all just me
thinking too much or not enough
I can never let it be
over-analyzing way too much

perhaps this is happiness,
and I'm just too stupid to see
but I hope that if this is it
it'll become more known to me

I thought I was happy yesterday,
and I may be alright in time
but right now I'm not okay
and I wish I could be fine

scrawled this out a few minutes ago...

"a beautiful finale"

a cobblestone terrace
bathed in sunlight and sound
beautiful music
swirling around

it's a concert for life
a concert for time
hope it never ends
I'm in back of the line

music bounces
from the water
time stops
for the better

the street lights shine
from across the street
they're in the eyes of every
soul you meet

a disheveled set list
for a disheveled world
disarray abounds
gravity curled

everything's the same
just in a different way
it's becoming more
I wish I could stay

the show must go on
winding down finally
here's what you want
a beautiful finale

thought up some of this in psych class...

"by your side waiting"


how do I get through to you
so many ideas, not a single one right
I'm never gonna leave your side
just let me in, just let me in

you must be so lonely,
so deep inside yourself
so much to offer the world
just let it out, just let it out

a beautiful wallflower,
will you ever bloom?
when you do it'll be so bright
and I'll be by your side,
soaking up the sun

I understand now, I can wait so long
I just hope that's long enough
I'll give it until the day after forever
and by your side waiting I'll be 'till then

"sending you a note"

I'm sending you a note,
it's just stuck inside my head,
but it isn't long enough, can't fit
in everything I should have said

I couldn't tell you to your face
too much to find the words
what difference would it make
if I'd have said all of this first

a torrent of passion,
and I don't even know why
the world comes to crash in
and I can't even lie

I'm pouring out my soul to you
but you only hear half the story
it's filled with everything I couldn't do
you finally begin to worry

At least now I know you love me,
but how, I still don't understand
I don't know why you can't tell me,
and just let me hold your hand

What the hell is this shit... Seriously... I mean, do you know how much time of my life you just wasted? How am I gonna get that time back!? You frickin' owe me! BIG TIME!

JK!!!

People never say bad things about other people's art, unless they are really cynical...

It's good man. This time I'm being serious.

thanks buddy; you've definitely got my vote for president.

"your new past"

a gestalt combination,
crazy as is necessary
a hapless inundation,
my emotions to be buried

water rushing over,
filling in the holes
best to run for cover,
before it washes out your soul

ghosts just linger in the mirror,
shaming you for it all
the air thickens with pressure,
you slowly begin to fall

it makes a shiny new man,
a new beginning for a life
bright with falsity and tan,
with pain no longer rife

you can think for forever,
but you're never gonna change
it just becomes more meager,
your new past to estrange

I wrote this over the span of about the last hour; I was thinking about how much something changes from conception to completion...

"the picture you've drawn"

stripped down emotion,
so simple yet deep
an unnerving devotion,
to things you can't keep

the echo of your voice,
boucing off the walls
effects of your choice,
my winding windfalls

a crackle from the air,
emptiness fills the space
there's beauty in your care,
like stumbling with grace

when it falls to the tape,
rolling yet again
far too late to escape,
it's scribbled and penned

packaged and pretty,
the meaning subsides
it's named ohh so aptly,
and on the wayside

to shelves it will go,
the meaning long gone
they never can know,
the picture you've drawn

Trent could be the new Shakespeare!

"death came to town today"

death came to town today,
to kill hypocrisy
I was surprised that I got to stay,
because I'm pretty bad you see

it seems his list was wrong,
because my name it appeared to lack
but if he'd wait around for long,
I'd make it to the stack

my friend was on vacation,
so death decided to wait
it took too long for revocation,
so death just left the state

we found him at the beach,
and I was at death's side
but my friend was somehow out of reach,
and death's list must have lied

death and I went back to town,
with a new list to read
but it seems this time my name was down,
and he couldn't set me free

as you would do I ran away,
but death was at my heels
and by death's side I now stay,
thinking up new ideals

I scrawled this a minute ago, thinking about why I wore my sunglasses all morning...

"sunshades"

baby I'm putting on my sunshades,
to hide the bags under my eyes
but they're never gonna be wide enough,
to hide all the pain inside

the dark brown tint covers just right,
to where you can't see the fresh tears
but God forbid I take them off,
if they slide down you can't be here

but today I'll wear them nonstop,
stumble through the darkness to get home
I feel a little better with something there,
to give the world a new tint to roam