ClumsyMonkey.net

One of my favourite hobbies is baking. I wanted to share with you, my most favourite fruit cake recipe. This is a good one to get together with a bunch of friends and bake on a Saturday night.

Just make sure everyone has the ingredients to make their own cake!

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Fruit Cake Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat

1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK.

Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whiskey again.

Go to bed.

Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

I'va always loved this recipe! Tastes damn good, too.

Stace wrote:Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Still the best part.

as soon as I saw whiskey, I knew it was whacked

I have all those ingredients except for one ...

*goes to the shop to buy whisky*

hey guys... I don't know what I did wrong....... but mine didn't turn out....

did you remeber to beat off the turner?

And don't forget to strain your nuts...

I'll strain your nuts Rob-the-anti-ninja-world-race-skipping-fuckass!

I was in Mexico city yesterday! At high noon! You ever seen a Mexico City rat at high noon? Big as a man! In heat! They don't so much bite and infest with disease as they do rape and pillage the quivering remains of their confused victims!

And where were you!?

That's it Rob. I do hereby strip you of any and all titles of ninja and/or l337-ness you may have been previously conferred.

Hang your head in shame!

I strained my nuts once. I tell ya, yoga wasnt meant for big guys

when i read the thing about baking i thought "oh fuck.. this is gonna be about banana bread" ... and then "hmmm i sure as fuck hope kruno and stace dont see this"

kick azz