ClumsyMonkey.net

Alrighty, here goes. No stealing if you like it.

Blotted Ink
By Richele

Nobody notices the cord choking my speech
my hands search frantically to write what I think
Nobody smells my perfume mixed with semen unwanted
or my fingers splattered with saliva not mine
I guess you can't open my eyes and read the pages
'cause they're full of unfinished phrases

And I feel so unclean tonight
though I've scrubbed my hands raw and bleeding
to wash them pure of the blotted ink

I can't close my ears to the sound of breath
leaking like poison and drowning my cries
I cannot help but be allergic to touches of skin
it brings back too much that I don't want to feel
The deed's been done, the price has gone unpaid
and now I'm stolen and all of my worth is drained

And I feel so unclean tonight
though I've scrubbed my hands raw and bleeding
to wash them white of the blotted ink

Now I'm stolen...and worth that much less

Comment away.

Wow. I'm very impressed.

Holy shit richele. Um. huh, wow. that was amazing. Now get your ass back on msn.


One thing; the second line could be reworked a little. I get what its saying, but its a little too bland. Other than that, I applaud you.

I might be able to get MSN Messenger on my phone so don't worry. You'll have more Richele than you can handle.

awewsome.

the first stanza was a bit awkward until i re-read it... i think taking a sylable or two out of the third line might help it. but that's just me.

otherwise, nice work.

Candy-coated Fake wrote:I might be able to get MSN Messenger on my phone so don't worry. You'll have more Richele than you can handle.

*dances*