ClumsyMonkey.net

AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!



I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

these are of course all in good fun and not intended to be taken seriously by americans. The canadian one was a widely known commercial from the hillarious promo's Molson beer did a few years back.

i Love that Canadian commercial!

the one where the beaver attacks the american was good too

the one where the american guy keeps making fun of the canadian in the office was good too, he jeresy's him

Dude, those commercials kick ass, TO THE EXTREME!!! HOO-YAH!!!!!!

.....


How come the only thing I though of was the fact that their slogan is (or was) I am. Canadian. As in two seperate sentances. And that takes away the whole point since its no longer patriotic.


I don't think my brain will allow me to have fun.

Let's make it clear, Canadians do say ABOOT. I was in London, Ontario and stopped at a Wendy's on the way home from an OLP concert and there was a table of teenagers and everytime they tried to say about, it sounded like ABOOT.

And I love how I am supposedly not educated. I love it. I truly do. I'd like to believe my grades and my IQ would say otherwise. Yep, when it comes down to it, I'm probably smarter than 98% of you here. I'll exclude Jim (I know, I'm complementing him for once), Corey, Doug, and (at times) Venom, but beyond that, yeah. And I'm American. Hah!

And yes, I know who Steve Gutenberg is! (that was a joke. You know, funny-ha ha)

i was scared you would be touchy about this issue. Relax man, it's just a joke, feel free to post any anti-canadian jokes you find. It's all just stereotypes man. Obviously you don't fall into these stereotypes, butthere is enough truth mixed in on both sides to make it enjoyable for the audience. It is true that wearing a Canadian flag on your backpack when traveling is a good wayto get a better treatment. I have family friends from the states that wear a Canadian flag on their stuff when traveling because they arn't stereotyped as obnoxious that way. But anyways, it's all in good fun Alan. Canada has been losing any culture it had pretty quickly and we're being assimilated into the States, it's just kinda our way of tooting our horn just like your and everyone elses country does.

PS No one around here says ABOOT i've never heard anyone say it that way, i think east coasters are the only ones that do. I do know though that me and my friends have a fun time with Americans and purposfully do stuff like that and "eh" around them, maybe the guys knew you were from (detroit?) and were pulling your leg.

LIES!!!!

EAST COAST IS ABOOT FREE!!!! ITS A MAINLANDER ACCENT DAMNIT!!!

And we don't say "eh?" either. Well, some people do. But thats not the point.

There is a Newfie rant like that somewhere...I should find it. It'll be the only one that no one will be offended by.

Rufus Wainwright wrote:And yes, I know who Steve Gutenberg is! (that was a joke. You know, funny-ha ha)

oh my god, i was totally thinking the same thing! and i'm totally smarter than you. jaaay kaaay.

Those are pretty good... just makes me kinda wish I was Canadian...

*FBI/CIA burst into my house and kill me for anti-American sentiment*

hmmm so if it's not the westerners......and it's not the easterners.....and it sure as hell isn't quebec..........who the hell is it????? I think it's a fabricated lie used by the media.

also i don't know anyone who uses "eh" frequently, and when they do it's not like american's show it on tv.

Maybe you just don't notice it because you're from there. I know I heard lots of ABOOTS when I stopped in Ontario on my way to New York and the other way around. I'm not making this up.

I've heard a lot of 'eh's' when I was in Canada, not as much 'aboots', but still a couple.

Speaking of stereotypes. I just watched Canadian Bacon, a Michael Moore movie with John Candy. They used just about every stereotype there is about Canadians and Americans.

That movie rules.

Rufus Wainwright wrote:Maybe you just don't notice it because you're from there. I know I heard lots of ABOOTS when I stopped in Ontario on my way to New York and the other way around. I'm not making this up.

It sounds like aboot to you americans because you all say "abaawt."


And yes thats not really true, and yes i admitt some Canadians Say aboot, but not I. Just like not all americans talk in a southern accent.

I'm from the South and I don't talk with a Southern accent.

Though, I do make a conscience effort not to, that may be why.

Just because your from a particular location, doesnt mean you automatically talk like the majority of the population. It's just human nature to slowly start talking like those around you. I'm sure if an american spent enough time in Canada, they might start dropping the odd "eh" into their sentances.

My cousin (19 years old), grew up here and then moved to Georgia a few years ago. Now she talks like she's been there her whole life.

Anyways, Canadian's don't say "aboot" as much as people seem to think. We just say "about" differently than Americans. Just like Americans say "ruff" in place of "roof". It doesn't sound odd to people who say it because it's all around them. And they don't actually say "ruff", that's just how it sounds to people who aren't around that pronunciation all the time.