ClumsyMonkey.net

Okay here is my dilemma.
Any feedback would be appreciated.

I have been dating this guy for about a week. He is two years older than me. The age doesn't bother me at all, because I generally like older guys more, because of the maturity level. But what does bother me is that he is looking for something really serious. I am only 16, and want a boyfriend, but want a more laid back, fun relationship.
When I say something really serious...I mean that he has already talked to me about falling in love and has already asked me to prom and ya. I guess I am just pretty overwhelmed. I have talked to him about stepping it down a notch, but he said he already has, and expects me to step it up for him.

What should I do?
Breakup with him? Stay?

i would stay and just tell him to slow down

I'd say... for right now, stay because it has only been a week and maybe he will calm down a little.


If not, you are going to have to stop and reflect a little about what you want and make sure that whatever you decide you will be happy. There's really no sense in having a boyfriend if every time you see him you are stressing out about how you both want different things.

agreed

Yup, I agree. Don't dump just cause he likes you alot, that's silly.

I have a feeling that you are in a relationship just to have a relationship. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it isnt necessarily something that can be serious.

Besides, how can you take a week old relationship seriously? You haven't even been dating him long enough to know is middle name! Going to the prom is one thing because a lot of people try to secure dates early so they are not on their first date at the prom. But still. How can he expect to have a full blown relationship after a week. Thats a little unnecessary.

it's to be expected that when you date older guys they're going to want to be more serious.

Kick him in the junk and see where it goes from there...

eh, he's just happy he bagged you. give it time and you'll either get a little more serious about him, or he's relax.

holy crap!!

this guy is

a. 18
b. only been dating you for a week

and he want's it to "get serious"?!! are you joking me? deep-six this wacko as soon as you can! he might try to marry you after week #2. by week 3, he'll be living in your house.

you need to tell speed-racer here to come to a crashing halt. remind him that it'll be at least another 15 years before he's too old not to be married.

seriously.

Cass wrote:Yup, I agree. Don't dump just cause he likes you alot, that's silly.

Tell Lauren that. She dumped me because I liked her too much after dating her for nine months. Nine fucking months and because I wanted to be around her as much as possible, she dumped me. Wow, I wish I could get that time back and probably bag a couple broads worth my time.

But honestly, if the guy is talking about love after a week, then tell him to calm down or you're walking. And specify what you mean by walking, because he will probably think you want to walk down the ailse with him, and yeah, that could be bad.

You can't just say "ok this is going to be a serious relationship" it has to evolve into one... if its forced it won't work.

Explain to him you're not ready for a serious relationship,if he still tries to go fast, just drop the fella... and hope he doesn't go all Fatal Attraction on you.

Or you could just kick him in the junk like lando said, dat works, too.

Yeah Marissa, I agree with my CM compatriots. This guy is obviously falling for you, and while that is nice and everything.........its probably going to get more and more problematic.

The best way is to just be straight up........no dancing around it or lying to protect hurt feelings.

blue eyed soul wrote:holy crap!!

this guy is

a. 18
b. only been dating you for a week

and he want's it to "get serious"?!! are you joking me? deep-six this wacko as soon as you can! he might try to marry you after week #2. by week 3, he'll be living in your house.

you need to tell speed-racer here to come to a crashing halt. remind him that it'll be at least another 15 years before he's too old not to be married.

seriously.

^ he put into words, exactly what I was thinking but couldn't say.

And when I tried, all that came out was "Kick him in the junk." So when I say that, you know what I mean next time!

Oh yeah and if dumpin' him doesn't work, or you choose not to.

Just kick him in the junk and see where it goes from there...

Thanks everybody for the advice.

But....about 30 mins ago, I broke up with him.

I expressed my concerns about moving too fast and getting too serious, but I knew that I was just going to drag things on, when I knew this isnt what I wanted. I told him that it wasnt the right time for a relationship.

*sigh*

Exellent.
Now, time for Spam.

Did you know that there is an imitation spam called "kam"
how strange is that?

ahhh! imitation spam!? but spam is already an imitation . . . of ham! how is this possible? . . . though funnily enough I think I've seen kam in stores.

YOu did the right thing. Glad you had some courage to do it.