ClumsyMonkey.net

I know I'll probably get blasted for starting a quasi-dumb thread, but here it goes. Need some advice...

There's a friend I've had for, like, 8 years now; and she's always been mother fackin' smoking hot (me talk for quite a pretty lady). She left close to a year ago, but she's back now.

About three years ago, I probably could have successfully asked her out; but now I dunno. We were closer back then, and we flirted quite a lot, but now I don't know if I've still got a shot.

We hung out for a few hours, catching up and all a few days ago, but I'm still unsure. She sends what can best be described as the most mixed friggin' signals known to man, so I dunno what to do.

Under normal circumstances, I would (well, I like to think I would) just get ballsy and ask her out; but we've been friends for so long, and if I ask her out and things go bad; I'm afraid I could really screw up our friendship. What should I do?

Any advice guys?

Dating friends is tricky. If both of you like eachother, neither is going to come out and say it,and that starts off a whole bunch of crazy shinanigans. Maybe try holding her hand on an outing or something. Sometimes friends do that, so it would be okay....then tell her you want to see her naked. And if things go well from there, then you have it made! Seriously, though, be very subtle in doing this, because you don't want her to think you're a weirdo or something. (like they all think of me)

hmmm, I like the naked idea...

but seriously, I guess subtletly would be the best policy.

is she worth it?

there are other ways to screw up a friendship, so I say get ballsy and ask her out

then tell her you want to see her naked.

Hmm....I don't know how I'd react to that. If you don't say it right, she'll think you're kidding

My advice...TOO many people don't take the step they wish they could (like me), so do it or else you'll regret it!

hey trent..well..i'm a girl and when i get asked out which is pretty rare, i take it as a compliment to whoever it is. Well, I had a friend named *****, and he asked me out and i was like, *****, i'm ur friend...things would be really weird so i'm sorry..or something bullshitty like that's all i see you as, you're like a bro 2 meh..but newayz that's another story...she would be nice about it cuz she's ur friend. and tell her that that's just how you feel, and that even if she said no, you would accept her response and things will never change. especially try to flatter her wit' ur charm.. bwa! lol..umm if u tell her in a real sensitive way and all and why u like her and the good things about her, she'd come to appreciate you as a boyfriend even more. if she's not worth it, she'd be an ass about it, so i guess u just hafta find out..and by the way, life is short buddy...


***** - i gots a friend on here, and i don't want her 2 know who it is...

Talk to her about it, don't just come out of the blue and ask her out. That's what I did with my current gf. We were really good friends for 4 years, then I started to realize that she was exactly what I wanted in a girl so I told her that, and we gave it a shot. We took it very slow though. There's no need to go from good friends to marriage in a week.

One thing we always made sure was that no matter what happened it would not ruin our friendship. Once one person thinks it's not gonna work than you gotta be honest and realize that you're only meant to be friends.

We've been together for about 15 months now. Everything is amazing, and both of us are happier than ever, not too mention we've become the best of friends.

I noticed how you said that you guys had been friends for 8 years and that you thought she was incredibly hot. Well I think that if you're going to decide to date her just because of how hot she is, it really isn't gonna work. Lust only goes so far.

This isn't for everyone. I got lucky in the fact that me and my gf have literally everything in common. So unless you believe you guys have a lot of common interests which can help the transition, I'd be somewhat weary of trying to date her.

Good luck though

I went through quite a similar situation, and ended up getting the shaft in no time. My vote goes towards no my friend, mixed signals from women are no signals.

what i've heard is something that can work is saying something like - "hey, I had the craziest dream last night! I dreamt that we were going out, can you imagine what that would be like?" And that would get you on the subject right?

Personally, I believe being friends first makes things a lot easier to take things to the next step. Especially if you were already close, because you can talk to them about anything, already had someone to confide in, etc...

Anyway, yes, it might affect your friendship after the relationship (if anything happens that is) however, if she means a lot to you and you to her, usually things will still work out in the end, even if you don't succeed as a couple.

For starters though, as I've already gotten ahead of myself. The best thing you can do right now is spend as much time as you can with her. I don't mean push yourself into her perhaps busy life, to the point where she doesn't even want you around, but just mention things how you enjoy spending time, hanging out again and tell her to call you once in a while, or use any other methods to be sure that she wants to see more of you. You can't be the only one calling her up. If you are, it's a bad sign. The fact that she was gone and is sending mixed signals requires that you make sure she feels the same as you do, or if not, that there's a chance she might develop that again. Another thing you can do is, if it's difficult to talk personally with her since she's been away, use the internet to do it. I know it sounds corny, but it can make it a lot easier for you to express your feelings. We all know guys have a problem with that, right ladies? You don't want to jump into a pool blindfolded and find out it's been drained for winter.

You being friends with her, already makes it easy for you to communicate on a more personal level. This means, to her, she probably knows you're thinking with the head above your shoulders and not just trying to get into her pants.

Anyway, the more time you spend together right now will clear up her mixed signals a lot for you. Especially if you do things she wants to do. If you know things she really enjoys. Suggest doing that for an evening or afternoon. However, if she knows you really hate doing it, don't suggest it, because she knows that you're obviously doing it for her and that you won't be enjoying it too. (Save that for when you're going out. You can make sacrifices much more easily and she won't feel guilty because she'll do the same for things you like to do. Because one of the first things people try to do in a relationship is please their significant other. It makes you feel good to know that they're happy!) Yeah, so do things she'll have a great time doing and she'll be much more open and clear with you when having a good time.

Don't get her DRUNK!!!! If she enjoys doing that, it doesn't mean that she's going to be open with you. She's impaired, so is her decision making and thinking, therefor she can't be totally honest with you.

Basically the most important thing is to be sure. If you really like her, you'll regret never asking her out. However, if you ask her out and she doesn't feel the same, it could make your relationship akward and affect your friendship. If you were close friends once, it's definitely possible again. And if you do end up dating her and it doesn't work out. There's a really good chance that you will still be able to remain friends, unlike relationships that just start from nothing.

You'll always be taking a chance with things like this, but some chances are worth taking. You just have to know what you want and what's worth risking. It's better than living a life of regret though.

Lando's right. Another important factor is that you know who she's like as a friend. Therefore you know her flaws and she knows yours. Usually if people only get to know eachother romantically they only get to see a good side. This way you both actually know what you're getting into.

I could type pages and pages about this, but I wont... sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt... it really depends on the person (like ANY relationship). However, I would be more sure of her feelings because making any moves to avoid feeling stupid if all doesn't go well. And yeah... be subtle about it, and eventually when you're confident about her feelings toward you, say something to her. Friends make the BEST girlfriends.... good luck!

use date rape drugs.

basically dude, like lando said. get her drunk, then whip it out and say "well, it's not going to suck itself". it's a surefire way to -

uh, nevermind.

do not ask out your friends. it sucks. instead, only ask out girls you do not already know. this is the way. when you break up (and you will), you do not want to have this person burning effigies of you and shit, right? trust me. it doesn't work.

besides, you may think you're fine with kissing her and shit, but having sex with your friends is just G R O S S. believe me, you won't enjoy it.

i always enjoyed fucking my friends. (the female ones) my advice is take her somewhere romantic in the rain. not a heavy rain, just a light sprinkle and then run under a door step and she'll come in close to you and you'll know what to do. i promise.

don't fall in love with your friends, especially ones that are in love with someone else and don't take advice from any of the 3 post above mine

Let it happen naturally... ....she probably feels the same way you do...however, sometimes girls can be clueless to the idea of taking things to the next level. If you make the move, she will know.

Loving friends is amazing. Those who disagree have no idea what you're talking about. I think it's amazing. For some reason, I have a tendency of getting with any girl I've ever been close with. It's always good though... =) They're the perfect relationships. And I know that I'll marry someone that I'm close to already.

I didn't say get her drunk! I said NOT TO. And you can fall in love with your friends, just make sure they've fallen in love with you too!

carnival_7 wrote:don't fall in love with your friends, especially ones that are in love with someone else and don't take advice from any of the 3 post above mine

agreed. it makes it so much harder to move on too. [still working on that one.]