ClumsyMonkey.net

http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/

this is so great

What do I think about Our Lady Peace's Spiritual Machines? I'll tell you what I think...

The opening track, R.K. Intro sounds like that bloke in your office who hums to himself continuously oblivious to the number of people who plot to fill his mouth and nose with cement on a daily basis. Track 2, Right Behind You (Mafia) is beyond belief. It sounds like a late 80s mobile phone ring. It is difficult to stop yourself from throwing a brick at your CD player when tosh like track 3, R.K. 2029 comes out of it on a regular basis.

In Repair could be mistaken for the sort of thing you'd play to a blind man to make them appreciate the lot of a deaf and blind man if you don't listen very carefully, and, believe me, you don't want to. Track five, Life sounds more like the sickening crunch of fist into nose experienced nightly outside most nightclubs than it really should. How many times does Our Lady Peace need to tell us all about their miserable fucking life? Middle Of Yesterday just reeks of teenage bedroom poetry and should have stayed there.

In fact, I'm unable to understand how people can pay money to be tortured in this way.

If you still like this crap, go buy it on amazon or something





hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahha *dies*

It's so obviously just track titles subbed in with random insults.

Quicksand is simply terrible. That's it, no further explanation needed. Track 2, Tip sounds like the elephant man attempting to whistle the gentle 70s synthesiser pap used to make porn more interesting from its start right through to its (bleated) finish. It is difficult to stop yourself from throwing a brick at your CD player when tosh like Condenser comes out of it on a regular basis.

Like my sister singing in the shower just after someone's turned on the hot water tap downstairs, track 7, Thin Spirits is a perversion that may actually appeal to a small group of sick fucks hiding in a basement somewhere in Illinois. Like the sickening crunch you'd hear just after the guillotine blade has fallen and just before your head does the same, Glimpse is only really listenable after carefully inserting your fists into your ears. Don't worry about getting them out again - there's more on this album you'll want to not hear too.

In fact, I despise every second of Finger Eleven's creation.

so what !!!!

it's funnY!!!!!

Yeah! Funny with a capital "Y"!

the insults arent that random either

Yes they are. It's just random insults thrown in with track titles to give a "review". He's got a madlib-like program that does it.

I don't like his music either!!

I'll hunt him down.

You like Robbie Williams? Oh dear. You're not going to like what I thought of Escapology...

Feel is beyond belief. It sounds like a pre-teen dry heaving into their parent's hedge after discovering the joys of alcohol for the first time. Why I bothered with the rest of Sexed Upn after listening to the first seven seconds of the dull splash of a TB patient coughing up his lungs onto the floor I don't know. On second listening track 8, Revolution starts sounding a little better, a bit more muffled and a little less like what rancid butter smells like. Or is that because I've strapped a twelve tog duvet around my head to block out the evil nastiness? You decide.

How many times does Robbie Williams need to tell us all about their miserable fucking life? Track nine, How Peculiar just reeks of teenage bedroom poetry and should have stayed there. Too much track 10, One Fine Day is bad for your health. I recommend taking up injecting heroin into your eyeballs instead. It tickles a bit, but the rush is awesome. Robbie Williams will strike fear into your heart with possibly the worst song on a bad album, the appalling How Peculiar (Reprise). It sounds like a Kerrang! cover CD that actually caused a drop in sales.

People have accused my reviews of being generated by a computer. Well, of course they are. You think anyone in their right mind would listen to Radiohead all day? I'm all digital baby.

does anyone else think the "guy" looks like bono?

the same insults are in all of these...

You like Thrice? Oh dear. You're not going to like what I thought of Identity Crisis...

Track 2, Phoenix Ignition could be mistaken for the stomach rumblings of Miss 'Overweight Texas' 1994 if you don't listen very carefully, and, believe me, you don't want to. Fifteen people died whilst track three, In Your Hands was being created. I can only say that they are the lucky ones and missed out on what sounds like a dawn chorus of daschunds slowly being ground into mince for the cheap meat market. Eighteen years of therapy and still I'm reduced to a gibbering wreck by things like track 5, Ultra Blue.

As the Ruin Falls sounds just like the sort of thing you'd play to a blind man to make them appreciate the lot of a deaf and blind man and I can't believe it was supposed to. Call it an unfortunate accident or something. Too much Torch to End All Torches is bad for your health. I recommend taking up injecting heroin into your eyeballs instead. It tickles a bit, but the rush is awesome. Oh my god. I've clearly missed the whole point of this album - until you listen to track 9, Unquestioned Answers you've no idea that the sound of an exploding zit gently squirting sebum into your brain is what Thrice was trying to create all along.

In fact, I feel violated from just having to discuss this stuff with you.

Idealist wrote:

People have accused my reviews of being generated by a computer. Well, of course they are. You think anyone in their right mind would listen to Radiohead all day? I'm all digital baby.

does anyone else think the "guy" looks like bono?

he does look kinda like bono

OLPMazurite wrote:The opening track, R.K. Intro sounds like that bloke in your office who hums to himself continuously oblivious to the number of people who plot to fill his mouth and nose with cement on a daily basis.

Looks like the computer "reviewer" screwed up here. The track is like 4 seconds long and contains no music whatsoever let alone humming! Whoever programed that thing didn't realize that "The Age of Spiritual Machines" contains predictions not facts that are true today (ie computers that can really review music)

:::troy:::

I notice there is a lot that's not in the site. It didn't recognize anything I put in...and most of them weren't really obscure things (although some were). For example, Stealing Babies wasn't even in there!

The funniest thing of all was when I typed in "David Mead" who I just saw open for Fountains of Wayne. This is what came up...

I've tried to wipe David Michael and Randy Mead's Magic Carpet from my mind, but, for you, here's what I can remember...

The sound of that buzzing, ringing sound you get if you stick your fingers in a wall socket that Purple Mountains so accurately reproduces is relieved only by the fact there are no pictures to go with it. Too much track three, Dark Waters is bad for your health. I recommend taking up injecting heroin into your eyeballs instead. It tickles a bit, but the rush is awesome. Ouch. Invisible Tourists will not only remove the enamel from your teeth, but charge you for its professional dental services afterwards.

Aerial Crossings isn't that bad. Ha ha. Got you. It's just a tiny bit worse than, say, the sound of little bits of aural shit dripping into my brain.

In fact, there's no excuse for people buying this and taking it into their homes to tortute their innocent children.

What does that have to do with David Mead?!?!

:::troy:::

Hmm, you've got me there. I've never heard of "un puno de tierra" ...

... but I'm sure it's like my mother's aborted attempts at sex with a panda.

damn the man sure knows his corridos

What do I think about Beto Quintanilla's Corridos a La Mexicana? I'll tell you what I think...

I've heard better tunes than the opening track, El Gordo Paz from my digital watch, on the hour, every hour. Beto Quintanilla will strike fear into your heart with possibly the worst song on a bad album, the appalling El Contrabando Del Paso. It sounds like the elephant man attempting to whistle the Muzak back catalogue. Track four, Carga Blanca is simply terrible. That's it, no further explanation needed.

Track five, El Trampitas is about as hip as my grandmother's attempts at the Lambada. It's a vision of hell that not many people live to see, I promise you. Like the little pop and splash that comes before the scream after accidentally lodging a knitting needle in your eye, track seven, Arturo Garza Trevino is only really listenable after carefully inserting your fists into your ears. Don't worry about getting them out again - there's more on this album you'll want to not hear too. We should ban things like Les Pinto Un 4 Ramon from ever being played on public radio. Oh? We have? Well, I'm starting a campaign to ban it from being played in private too.

In fact, a fruits of the forest yoghurt has more cultural significance.

i'm gonna beat the shit outa this guy.

The whore can't even get the songs right. They said track #7 on Alkaline Trio's "Goddamnit" was As You Were, which it clearly is not. It is Clavicle, and it is their best song. Fucker.

YOU TELL EM.... you...