ClumsyMonkey.net

I guess this is the newest things I've written... I'm experiment with more of a storytelling type of song... This one is about a guy (a begger) who came back to my town to visit the place... He's old and rather raggidy looking... He decided to stick around, until winter comes and the police come and pick him up to stick him in the jail for the winter.

Some girls are the lonesome type;
pretty little things that'll hiss and bite.
But I'm looking for that special one,
that'll flip her hair and smile.
And from the looks of it,
I'm gonna be waiting awhile.

I'm walking around Riverview,
from the looks of it, there is nothing new.
I'm passing by the ol' high school,
it's got some talent that makes it cool.
Yeah, I'm walking the village blocks, and
from the looks of it, no one has a need for locks.

Sometimes I'll walk for weeks,
down the block to the coffee shop.
and I'll be greeting all the little tots,
with a smile and a little bow.
But from the looks of it,
I'm going to jail now.

I'm walking around Riverview,
from the looks of it, there is nothing new.
I'm passing by the ol' high school,
it's got some talent that makes it cool.
Yeah, I'm walking the village blocks, and
from the looks of it, no one has a need for locks.

Decent.

I like it. There's still some parts that could be improved, but there's a huge change from your last one for the better.

you're walking around riverview?

as in riverview, michigan?!?!?!?

I like it, but I would say try to avoid using words like "cool." Somehow this still doesn't seem like it is from the old man's perspective. You start off talking about girls but never finish that thought. I don't understand what the first stanza has to do with the rest of them.

Some girls are the lonesome type;
pretty little things that'll hiss and bite.
But I'm looking for that special one,
that'll flip her hair and smile.
And from the looks of it,
I'm gonna be waiting awhile.


I hate to descrive and explain my work, because then I'm not really doing my job, but since this is one of those ol' bluesy things....

Basicly, he's describing the type of girls he sees in the place he came from... But he came to Riverview (New Brunswick, Canada) looking for that special one...