ClumsyMonkey.net

<a href=http://www.emtee.org/sugarcookie/pm_01.mp3>prom night</a> <-- right click save as

last month i asked if you'd be my date for prom night
with a smile on your face you said yes
i started planning both our deaths

today you're picking out a dress for prom night
i wait as you try it on in back
hoping you picked out black

cause i've taken care of everything
funeral arrangements and a limousine
i've got your corsage in the fridge
next to my severed head

this morning i woke up nervous about prom night
i pulled myself together limb by limb
waiting for the fun to begin

i've taken care of everything
funeral arrangements and a limousine
i've got your corsage in the fridge
next to my severed head

tonight we'll do what everyone does on prom night
then i'll drive my car off a bridge
so the night will never have to end

wow.

that last stanza
it frightens me
a lot.

That's pretty good, and coming from me that means a lot.

It's by far the best one I've seen you post.

However, I'm not impressed with the first couple lines:

"last month i asked if you'd be my date for prom night
with a smile on your face you said yes "

damn jeff. that was bitchin.

wow. i'm speechless about this one

fricking good.

is this going on your solo cd? or it just a poem?

demo soon

tonight possibly

Is there only going to be guitar? I think it would sound awesome with just screeching guitar, like the intro to Trucks and Trains, but better put together, ya know?

right now that's all i am

a guy and his guitar

I can throw down some bass. And I have a really great falsetto. I, however, sing quite slow and sound funny like Dan, but not as good or nearly as steady. So yeah, background vocals for me.

bump

I like it. I kind of got confused when the guitar parts randomly changed, but after hearing it a second time, it made sense and I liked it even more.

i listened to it again just now and laughed. it's so rough. i definitely need to record separate guitar parts and layer them. and slow it down i think.

i wrote music for the entire song in like seven minutes. i'm out of fucking control.

not too shabby

want me to write a bass line for it?

Honestly, it sounds childish compared to some of your other ones and just not as well written. Some of the lines feel forced (like the second verse). Just my opinion. I'm not bashing you, I think a lot of your other stuff is really great.

it's different

i appreciate the comments

I like it a whole lot.