ClumsyMonkey.net

Dear Stupid Whore who thought it would be nice to scream at me over the phone today for no reason:

You fucking suck.
You ruined my day and I hate you.
I don't care if you are sending your lawyer after us, I don't care if you have witnesses who say you sent in your paperwork. I DON'T HANDLE YOUR CLAIM SO STOP FUCKING SCREAMING AT ME.
If you would have let me get a word in edgewise instead of screaming for a supervisor, pausing for a second expecting an answer, and then as soon as I start to speak start screaming at me again, I would have explained WHY the supervisor was in a meeting now but wasn't five minutes ago WHEN YOU HUNG UP ON THE OTHER PERSON YOU WERE TALKING TO AS SHE WAS TRYING TO TRANSFER YOU OVER.

Stop blaming the hang-ups on us, too, by the way. You are the one who hung up on me. I put you on hold to FIND the supervisor. YOU hung up on ME bitch. I know this because as I was on the phone with my supervisor I saw your call line stop blinking, which means YOU HUNG UP.

When I get angry, I shake. And when I get REALLY angry like I did at you, I cry. Because I'm shaking so hard I can't control anything and I start to cry.

You ruined my day and you're a stupid bitch and I hope your appeal gets denied. You're the first person to make me cry at that job and that makes you suck.

~Megan.

...wow. *hugs megan* as for my letter...

dear universe:

you suck.

love, saman

Dear Mr. Cereal Bowl,
why are you no longer flowing with grainy goodness?

dear so-called 'family',

so i know that i havent seen you, my aunt and uncle, in about 7 years and we are by no means close, that doesn't mean you have to make me feel guilty for attempting to stay with you while i happened to be in montreal. in fact, i didn't even ask. all i said was "hi, it's really good to talk to you, perhaps we could see each other while i'm here (which i have been all of once since i was born), so it's not like i'm constantly on your doorstep asking for a place to stay. sure, i didn't exactly call you up weeks in advance to co-ordinate schedules, but the fact that you were out of town when i happened to call definatly inconvienced me more than it did you, so why claim that i "expected you to plan your life around me without giving you advanced notice"? i asked if we could see each other. if you just couldn't bear that, than you should of been polite, said that it wouldn't work out and tell me to call another time. instead you have made me feel like i don't even have a right to get to know my dad's half of the family. as if i'm ever going to call you or anyone else in your family ever again. i wasn't hoping for much, just maybe a dinner invitation sometime in the next year when you are the only people i know when i'm alone in a new city. but apparently that was too much to ask for.

ps, fuck you and your self-righteous morality. so my dad didn't raise me jewish. at least he tought me that family was important.

all my love,

your un-neice



wow, i think that letter was longer than the conversation that insired it.

*hugs Yannic*

Dear school:

Why is that I seem to have been in the education system for eternity? All you do is take my money, drive me into debt, cause me hives, and question what the crap I want to do with my life.

Thanks for nothing, mediocre student

Dear Corn Stuck Between my Teeth,

Your time here is up. Time to vacate the premises.
I want you outta here within the hour!

Love, Sarah and Sarah's teeth.

Dear Jackass,

It's a beautiful day outside, it's not rainining or snowing and causing crazy traffic, yet somehow you can't figure out how to get where you're going without ramming your car into two other cars. You've blocked 3 lanes of a 3-lane highway, dumbass. Now my husband is standing on the highway chatting with strangers while they clean your sorry ass off the road. And I have to make dinner by myself. Geez!

~Kathy

P.S. I'm sorry that you're hurt or dead.

Dear Coworkers,

Our job really isn't that bad. If you get paid the same as me, and I imagine you get more, believe it or not, you get paid a pretty good wage. You have insurance and other benefits, too. A lot of companies are making you get that for yourself. Our duties are simple and menial. They require very little fine thought, yet you seem to think we are underpaid and overworked. Why? Why do you have to complain about everything, no matter how trivial? Continuing that line of thought, why must you complain about the SAME THINGS most nights for the last 5-6 months? If you dislike all of this and are truly fed up, go find another job and quit making me disgruntled. I like my pay. I can tolerate my duties. It's you, my coworkers, that make me want to go find a lower paying job with fewer benefits just to get out of here. Thanks, assholes.

Also, to my former lead. You're an idiot, and I don't know why you insist on thinking that I 'told on" you. I almost wish I had, but I mind my own business. I really hope you fall down a flight of stairs.

bk*

magicseamonkey wrote:I really hope you fall down a flight of stairs.

dear megan,

this thread is quite lovely. thank you for starting it.

all my love,
a grateful cmer

ps. LOUD NOISES

Dear Darren's hay fever.

You have been lingering inside of me for many many many seasons since I can remember. It is time for you to depart my body. You are useless, troublesome, and annoying as fuck. A bad fuck, mind you. Do you know how many tissue boxes I go through, all because you like to fill my nose with massive amounts of green snot?? Do you know how many times you make me sneeze in just one hour? No, because I can't even count it. You make me a driving hazard, because I need to close my eyes when I sneeze, and since my hands have to be on the wheel, I can't cover my mouth and so the passengers get kinda annoyed when they see my sneeze particles in the car. You ruin perfectly beautiful sunny days. There have been so many sunny days that I simply could not enjoy like everyone else because you like to clog up my nose, make me sneeze an unsensable amount of time, make my eyes itch so it looks like I am crying, make me drowzy so I get so tired from all the sneezing. My parents have spent so much money on Reactine, the pills that are suppose to make your symptons die, but you've made me feel that I need to take them so often, that my body is now immune to it. You suck. Can't you not exist anymore???

PS: I didn't mind Asthma as much as you. Atleast Asthma was smart enough to know when his time was up. But you're just a dumb fuck that doesn't know when to quit. You better not interfere with my Provincial exams tomorrow and Thursday, because that'd just be fucking messed.

Darren

Have you tried Flonase? I like flonase.

Dear upcoming math exam

Why do you have to suck so much? Why are you going to be unbelievably hard so as to destroy any chance of me getting an 80 in that class? Please catch on fire, or fall in to a paper shredder, or get eaten by Ms. Lampo's dog which I'm not even sure she has.

Go away,
Sarah

thirdhour wrote:dear megan,

this thread is quite lovely. thank you for starting it.

all my love,
a grateful cmer

ps. LOUD NOISES

I was pissed off and needed a place to vent. And the Today Sucked Because... thread I started wouldn't do it for me.

I like open letters.

They make me feel less murderous.

Dear Milton,

FUCK YOU

Love,

Kaegan

dear allergies, headache, mental problems, pills and injections to "fix" mentioned mental problems, stress, mother, fucking history exam, just generally things i hate right now at this moment.

please go away. for the love of god, just go away.

thanks.

~ sonya.

Rusty wrote:Have you tried Flonase? I like flonase.

yeah, flonase and nasacort. and try zaditor anti-allergy eye drops.

Dear Parents,

LET ME GO TO EDGEFEST.

Dear Edgefest Ticket,

WHERE ARE YOU!? I WANT YOU. I WANT TO WIN YOU. BE. MINE.

Love Jennifer.

Dear Jennifer - I have 2 extra random Edgefest tickets that I was given. Are you allowed to come?

~Kathy