ClumsyMonkey.net

"A controversial fertility doctor has defended his decision to give IVF to a 63-year-old woman who is set to become Britain's oldest mother.
Severino Antinori says he only treated psychiatrist Patricia Rashbrook, of East Sussex, in an unnamed European country after strict medical checks.

Dr Rashbrook, who is seven months pregnant with her fourth child, said she was delighted with the pregnancy. "

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4971930.stm

I'm interested to hear what people's views are on this.

Wow.

I don't really know what to say because...well people want kids...and they aren't always "able" (whether being too old or too young) to care for them well enough or long enough. It just seems so...unnatural. I can't imagine having kids past late 30s or 40s.

I don't think this is wrong on the doctor's part, as his decision appears to have been grounded in a lot of background work to ensure his patients' safety.

As for the mother, however, I think her choice to have another child so unnaturally late in life is highly irresponsible. Consider the fact that her child will most likely be left orphaned before the age of 18.

i agree that it's all weird and stuff, but what about people that know that they are going to die young (because of some disease or another)? should they just not have kids because there's a high chance of them growing up parentless?

my next door neighbour is in her late 50's and is currently fostering an 8 year old and a 6 year old, in addition to her daughter, who's 15. she's probably going to eventually adopt the younger two, which means by the time the youngest finishes high school, she'll be in her 70s.

did she go to groundbreaking extremes to do it though? it just seems irresponsible to me.

If they have enough money to go to those extremes though, it doesn't seem likely then when they do kick the bucket the kid will be on the streets.

hmm. i'm happy for the woman. she obviously wanted the baby badly enough. few things to take into account here. 1. the woman's a psychiatrist. i really don't think money will be a problem for them. 2. the kid probably will suffer an emotional blow when his/her parents die while he/she's still young, but as for the child's welfare at that time, i'm sure the parents have already thought about all of this and planned accordingly. considering that the child has three older brothers and sisters, it'll probably be well taken care of by them when the time comes. or maybe the parents will appoint a guardian for the kid for after they die. the point is, the parents have gone through so much struggle to get this baby; they're not just going to leave it uncared for after they die.

Okay I am going to go against the grain on this one. I think it is absolutely crazy. Perhaps i didnt read what you read as I saw little evidence that this planeed out well at all. All the people I have known or my child has known whose parents were older have been alienated to some degree because of this. While it may be argued that older people make better parents, i believe they make better grandparents. The 4 friend that I have known in my life whose parents were in their mid to late 40's (fathers in 50's) were treated by their parents as grandchildren. These children have much more priviledges than their peers and much more freedong. Half of my sample size resulted in susbtance abusers because of the lack of restraint on their parents parts. As well they all felt uncomfortable about their parents when introducing them as they were always mistakened as their grandparents. I know this is based on a small sample size but i can only comment on my experience.

As for the biology of this, I wonder why we do things that are just not natural. if we were meant to have children as older women we would be able to. Men are able to for the simple reason that they have less physical investment in the early dependant years. In terms of our evolution it makes little sense in terms of fitness of the species to be having offspring at 63.

off the soap box

but argued that older people made better parents.

Generalizations like that make me angry.
There is an obvious selfishness about this whole scenario as quality of life isn't really concidered.
The other thing I keep thinking is will someone of that age even survive the pregnancy? Its not like people get preg-o and then pop one out. There is a huge physical toll and there is a biological reason why people of that age have a more difficult time concieving.

It interesting to see the extremes we go to. In one part of the world we are using science to push forward and make women who are beyond the biological time frame they were given pregnant, while in others we are banning scientific advancements in the same area like abortion and birth control.

Why can't people just adopt!?

Christ, if you want kids so bad, save the life of one who's starving.

I just can't agree with this at all.

Life expectancy in the UK is 78, the woman is 63, her husband is around the same age. So if they live to that life expectancy, the child will be an orphan by the time they're 15. And while the parents may have plans in place to have the child well looked after after they die, it's just not enough in my books. I was 17 when my mum died, my brother was 15. We're well enough looked after financially and emotionally and whatever else, but it's just not the same as having her around still - we both miss her terribly even though it's been 11 years now. I just can't see how anyone would choose want to put their child through that.

I can understand why some people may deem this a very selfish act, but some women go their whole life without being able to have children. Luckily this woman, dispite her age, is able to. I think it's wonderful that today's technology makes this possible. Obviously this woman a very intellectual person, and i'm sure has considered all the psycological damages that their child could suffer.

Just 'cause she's considered it, itsn't going to help the poor child when it's 15 and orphaned or having to take care of eldery and infirm parents.

crustine wrote:much more freedong.

Mmmm, free dong.

I think that all of this crap about how old, and freedong (freedom ), is a generalization to the point of obsurdity. My parents were 22 and 25 when they had me and I have had all the freedom I want. And I am by no means a druggie or anything.

Soozy, what you said really changed my mind about that. I thought at first, "Well if the kid won't starve..." But I know that that time sucked SO much and without caring parents, well let's just say it would have been very bad. If they were really thinking about the future they would have thought about how that kid is gonna get along w/o them when they die. Emotionally.

My dad is much older than all of my friend's dads... it was strange growing up and I was always embarassed because people thought he was my grandpa. Also, he had lots of health problems and my sister and I helped take care of him. When our friends were playing outside or going on school trips, my sister and I were taking turns making dinner, making sure my dad had everything he needed when he was lying in bed, etc.

Also, we have an awful relationship... we did when I was growing up, and it's no better today. He was very set in his ways and we could never relate to each other. He wanted to raise us the way kids were raised in the 30's (when he was born). The rules in our house were very strict so we often missed out on things other kids our age were doing. We also lied to his face quite frequently and did things behind his back so that we could be "normal" kids... we had to lie in order to go to friends houses after school, participate in sports, or go to the mall.

And we don't have nearly the age gap that this 63 year old mother and her baby will have!

ihatethunderbay wrote:Why can't people just adopt!?

Christ, if you want kids so bad, save the life of one who's starving.

THANK YOU!

I would just like to reply on these comments on the parents' age affected the child as he/she grows up.

I am 15 years old and both my parents are in their 50s. I know it's not that bad, but all through my childhood I've been jealous of my friends who have dads who were young enough to be able to relate to their children - dads who would play sports with their kids, listen to their music without saying things like "oh this is terrible compared with what I listened to in my day" and things like that.

Having parents that are older kind of makes a gap between parent and child. I have a serious problem in my relationship with my father and I think the fact that he is so much older than me is a factor in why that is (that and because he's a lawyer with a heart of stone). I disrespect my dad and he says "oh it's just cuz he's a teenager, by the time he turns 20 he'll be all over with it" but I just laugh because i know it's not true. I've always been jealous of my friends and cousins who have dads who get along so well that they might as well be best friends, I just wish it was like that with me.

I know it's not a huge issue, I just think people should take into account their age before they have kids. And as someone mentioned before, why don't you adopt one of the thousands of starving kids in Africa instead of bringing a new one into the world.

Ha. Same. My younger sister is only 14 and our parents are already 57 and 53.

PS. the adoption process takes so long that she might be dead before she could get one to go through

Agreed that this whole thing is selfish on the woman's part. She has obviously not taken into consideration the effect her choice will have on her unborn child.

No matter how physically healthy she may be, there will still most likely be complications. Her pelvis, for instance, may not be as able to adapt to labor now that's she's older and could cause damage to her and her baby. Etc.

She's already had several children. Why would she want to do that to a baby? To herself? I agree she should have adopted if she wanted one that badly. There are so many children who don't have families and might never get adopted - I think before spending so much money and taking all the risks of pregnancy at such an elderly age, it would be smarter and more responsible to adopt.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have another baby at 63. At that age, I'm going to be ready to enjoy my retirement, after already having raised children (hopefully), and I wouldn't want to start the process all over again.

In sum: Very irresponsible.

Also, I'm wondering - why hasn't this woman gone through menopause yet? Isn't it incredibly odd for a woman to be able to get pregnant after already having gone through that?