ClumsyMonkey.net

So the President of the United States wakes up one day and is given the daily run down of the major news storys for that week. While nothing is particular unusual about the weekly news, the President seems particularly alarmed when he hears that 3 Brazilian soldiers died earlier that week.

"3 Brazillian soliders," he says. "Thats horrible, I mean...wow that has to be the most awful thing I've heard all year."
His advisors are quite shocked, and wonder why the President would be so concerned about such a thing. After a long and awkward silence, the president looks up in tears and asks "How many is a brazilian?"

Get it?! Get it! Good, now you tell one.

So the President of the United States wakes up one day and is given the daily run down of the major news storys for that week. While nothing is particular unusual about the weekly news, the President seems particularly detached when he hears that 3 Brazilian soldiers died earlier that week.

"3 Brazillian soliders," he says. "Thats too bad."
His advisors are quite shocked, and wonder why the President hasn't been impeached yet. After a long and awkward silence, the president looks up rather detatched-like and asks "How many is a brazilian?"

...

happening fish wrote:...

That's the funniest joke I've heard for a while. I mean two dots wouldn't have even made me crack a smile. Four would have made it look like you were just trying to prove that you could use an extra...but THREE...damn, that's hilarious

:::troy:::

so bob and bill are walking by a river. bob falls in.

I got nuthin... I'm so bad with jokes.

When I was younger I made up jokes all the time and they were reeeaallly bad.
What fast food chain is favored by pirates?



























Arby's
(you have to pronounce it with a good growl.... "Aarrgh - bies")

Here's one my friend told me.

This guy is engaged to a girl. She has a really hot sister. Now this sister never wears a bra, and always wears really low cut, sexy shirts. Now the day before the wedding, the guy goes over to see his fiance, and her sister opens the door. She says she isn't there, but asks if he would like one last fling before he gets married. He says, "umm....no." But she keeps at it, and says she'll be waiting upstairs. She takes off her top and starts up the stairs. Then when she gets to the top she throws her panties down and they hit the guy in the face. The guy just bolts out of the house and he stops dead in his tracks. Outside is his fiances entire family, clapping and rewarding him. They are so grateful that their daughter finally found someone she can trust, and they welcome him to the family.










































The moral of the story:








Always leave your condoms in the car.































It's the only joke I could think of right now.

i put this elsewhere but i don't think anyone but nikki saw it

what do you get when you cross a car salesman and a vampire?

i saw it....

so i won't answer

Hours after the end of the world, a border dispute emerged between heaven and hell. God invited the devil for conversations to find a way to resolve this dispute quickly. Satan, the devil, proposed a soccer game between heaven and earth.

God, always fair, told the devil, 'The heat must be affecting your brain, the game would be so one sided, don't you know all the "good" players go to heaven?"

The devil, smiling, responded "Yeah, but we've got all the refs'..."

What did the Zero say to the Eight.

Nice Belt.

So no one wants to know the answer to my joke?
Fuck you all

Which joke Alex?

happening fish wrote:i put this elsewhere but i don't think anyone but nikki saw it

what do you get when you cross a car salesman and a vampire?

lol a car salesman

I dunno.

it's somethingsomething.bat

i don't know.

well you ruined it, thanks

hmm.

happening fish wrote:So no one wants to know the answer to my joke?
Fuck you all

I wanna know.