ClumsyMonkey.net

Here I am, sitting with just the dog in the house, disclothed and not ready, not appropriate. I miss it. I miss everything I used to have, just like a butterfly who used to be a caterpillar, change is great but it causes dreadful results, I know I’ve been hiding for a long time but you need to give me a chance. I am much different than you know I am. You know me well but not my changing overgrown sense of insecurity that you only can try to envision as the water that flows from my face to your shoulders when you say you understand but I know you can’t completely.... I love you but this feels like it shouldn’t be working the way it is, like a knife used instead of scissors, some other purpose that we never ever think about before performing the action, never thinking of the consequences, it just opens up the microcosm and offers its metallic hands for a self-sufficient half-assed solution that we can’t be bothered to think about, because we’re just too busy and disorganized and inappropriate for the world to handle us if we were to think too hard and put everything that’s bad aside and wonder why are we doing every little thing that we do every single day of every single week? And I’m not talking about the domino effect because that’s too easy to understand, I am meaning to talk to you and understand why just a smile or the movement of your hand can completely change the way I feel or the way you’re able to understand - because you know you see me through my own watery eyes and read me like a book, I wanted to tattoo everything into your skin and let it soak in on its way to your brain but it really doesn’t work out that way, not anymore, or ever…. All I can do is just write you a letter and hope you will understand that someday we’ll really be together and that I really can’t explain it but we will love each other forever and the world is too encompassing for us to live just right in it but for now we can just stare and admire this lovely minute.

Very good. Kinda sad. But well written.

Okay

I had a random idea today and i put this to words.... er... i mean. i recorded it


but i didnt do it right and DP4 didnt put in the piano part that my friend Wes recorded so right now it sounds super lame BUT it will get cooler cuz i havent even tried editing it very much yet - i was just trying to get out of the studio room cuz that Wesley guy was really hitting on me and he was nice but um yeah anyway here goes nothing...


EDIT: its too big. pm me if you want to hear it ok. lol

i made the movie. if anyone cares. :-D


messgae me to see it, its kinda big