Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:09 pm
NEVER!
I don't think I ever did know! You're trying to confuse me!ClumsyMonkey.net
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Love & Relationships Thread
Page 45 of 94
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:20 pm
I don't think I ever did know! You're trying to confuse me!Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:21 pm
GRRRR.
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:23 pm
i know 
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:26 pm
he knows, ask him
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:28 pm
half jill wrote:GRRRR.
Why can't you tell me?
My mind isn't so good these days.Dr. Hobo wrote:i know
Tell me!
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:28 pm
no
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:29 pm
RUSSELL: GRRRRRRRRR.
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:29 pm
Please.
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:33 pm
half jill wrote::love:
RUSSELL: GRRRRRRRRR.
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:34 pm
half jill wrote::love:.
was that for me?!
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:35 pm
Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:41 pm
Don't I get a face too? 
face too? Posted: 10/27/2005, 8:42 pm
half jill wrote::nod:
yay!
Posted: 11/7/2005, 2:27 am
No one needs to respond to my next few posts, I'm talking to myself just to try and work through a few things that are running through my head. 
THEORIES ON YANNIC'S RELATIONSHIP:
Ok, so there is nothing wrong with our relationship, it's going great, we're so happy when we're together.
Then I start thinking, maybe this is too easy...maybe I'm just really comfortable in the situation and don't want to break up or anything because I don't want to go through the effort and it is nice to always have someone who's required to listen to you. Maybe we don't actually love each other, we're just stuck in this boring place.
Then I start thinking...wow, I'm fucked up, I don't know how I feel about him. Maybe we should just take some time off so that I can figure out some stuff. But then I realize me telling him that would be pointlessly hurtful because he would think it was his fault. So I know! I'm not going to see him for a week, I just will stay off teh MSN and take some time to think. But then I sign in and my heart is REALLY hoping he's online.
Obviously avoiding him is hard, so this must mean I care about him, right? FUCK. Basically I'm cool with either one. There are times I'm like, you know what, I don't need the kid. And I am perfectly fine with the idea of breaking up with him. Hell, there's so much stuff in my life I want to do that doesn't include him right now. But whenever I'm with him, I'm just so happy. It seems so unfair of me though to have feelings (fairly often) about breaking up with him, and then to stay with him, him having no idea this is going on.
THEORIES ON YANNIC'S RELATIONSHIP:
Ok, so there is nothing wrong with our relationship, it's going great, we're so happy when we're together.
Then I start thinking, maybe this is too easy...maybe I'm just really comfortable in the situation and don't want to break up or anything because I don't want to go through the effort and it is nice to always have someone who's required to listen to you. Maybe we don't actually love each other, we're just stuck in this boring place.
Then I start thinking...wow, I'm fucked up, I don't know how I feel about him. Maybe we should just take some time off so that I can figure out some stuff. But then I realize me telling him that would be pointlessly hurtful because he would think it was his fault. So I know! I'm not going to see him for a week, I just will stay off teh MSN and take some time to think. But then I sign in and my heart is REALLY hoping he's online.
Obviously avoiding him is hard, so this must mean I care about him, right? FUCK. Basically I'm cool with either one. There are times I'm like, you know what, I don't need the kid. And I am perfectly fine with the idea of breaking up with him. Hell, there's so much stuff in my life I want to do that doesn't include him right now. But whenever I'm with him, I'm just so happy. It seems so unfair of me though to have feelings (fairly often) about breaking up with him, and then to stay with him, him having no idea this is going on.
Posted: 11/7/2005, 2:28 am
OR
I love him lots and lots and lots.
There is basically nothing else in my life that I am enjoying as much right now. Therefore, I spend a great deal of time thinking about him, and wishing I could be with him.
He loves me as well. However, he shows it differently and doesn't need to spend as much time thinking about it or with me. He's perfectly happy accepting that we both love each other, and that's that.
I begin to realize that me not having anything else going on in my life is not making me happy. Instead of finding other things to do, I begin to resent myself for being to involved in this relationship, and in turn resent him for being able to find a balance in his life. When he chooses to hang out with friends instead of me, I feel that it's because he doesn't want to see me, not because he just likes the friends. I have not-to-many friends, and would rather hang out with him over them anyday, and unfairly expect him to feel the same.
I am pissed at myself for what I see as emotional dependence on him. I then distance myself from him to prove to myself that I don't need him. I then do things that don't make me happy, like tell myself I have to wait a certain number of days to call him. When I realize it's not me being able to take a step back, it's me fruitlessly trying to control myself and I get even more resentful.
I take out this resentment on him. I get cold and distant to make it seem like I don't care that much about him and wouldn't get hurt if something bad were to happen. Worse yet, it's not a pretence. I convince myself this is true, and begin to feel this way. When I'm with him, I'm usually happy. However, as soon we separate, I begin to convince myself that I don't even like him that much.
I love him lots and lots and lots.
There is basically nothing else in my life that I am enjoying as much right now. Therefore, I spend a great deal of time thinking about him, and wishing I could be with him.
He loves me as well. However, he shows it differently and doesn't need to spend as much time thinking about it or with me. He's perfectly happy accepting that we both love each other, and that's that.
I begin to realize that me not having anything else going on in my life is not making me happy. Instead of finding other things to do, I begin to resent myself for being to involved in this relationship, and in turn resent him for being able to find a balance in his life. When he chooses to hang out with friends instead of me, I feel that it's because he doesn't want to see me, not because he just likes the friends. I have not-to-many friends, and would rather hang out with him over them anyday, and unfairly expect him to feel the same.
I am pissed at myself for what I see as emotional dependence on him. I then distance myself from him to prove to myself that I don't need him. I then do things that don't make me happy, like tell myself I have to wait a certain number of days to call him. When I realize it's not me being able to take a step back, it's me fruitlessly trying to control myself and I get even more resentful.
I take out this resentment on him. I get cold and distant to make it seem like I don't care that much about him and wouldn't get hurt if something bad were to happen. Worse yet, it's not a pretence. I convince myself this is true, and begin to feel this way. When I'm with him, I'm usually happy. However, as soon we separate, I begin to convince myself that I don't even like him that much.
Posted: 11/7/2005, 2:28 am
OR
I just straight-up take him for granted. He's the only one of my friends that hasn't decided in recent months to just stop calling me. It seems like he's guaranteed to be there, so when I get upset or down or just emotionally detached, he's the easiest thing to destroy because I know he loves me. I can't go and be horrible to a friend, because I'll then worry that that person won't even care and will just turn around and dislike me. With him, I assume he'll always be there, so I can pretend I'm above needing him and deliberately hurt him.
I just straight-up take him for granted. He's the only one of my friends that hasn't decided in recent months to just stop calling me. It seems like he's guaranteed to be there, so when I get upset or down or just emotionally detached, he's the easiest thing to destroy because I know he loves me. I can't go and be horrible to a friend, because I'll then worry that that person won't even care and will just turn around and dislike me. With him, I assume he'll always be there, so I can pretend I'm above needing him and deliberately hurt him.
Posted: 11/7/2005, 2:29 am
OR
When it comes down to it, I never actually leave him. There have been times when he has done things that hurt me (more than a few, actually), but I always forgive him, because at those times it seems like just dumping him would be an easy way out and we both still cared about each other, so why break up? It's weird though. Things are going perfectly fine in our relationship right now. He has finally realized that he must make changes, and I have accepted his faults. (I'm not saying I don’t have any or anything, it was just that his were majorly getting in the way of our relationship) I really want to be here now that things are finally good.
Basically, I love being with him. I don’t know why I feel the need to analyze all this shit when really, when I’m with him, we’re both happy and that’s all that should matter. I know this. I should stop thinking about him, live my life during the week and then when I see him, be full of my love
We’re so weird. When we first see each other after being away for a while, we will act like we don’t even know each other. People probably don’t even realize that we’re all that serious of a couple, because when we’re in public, we either don’t talk, or joke around like we’re best friends. When we’re in private though…we both know how much we love each other and are so lucky to have found each other. Nothing is more comfortable than being in his arms.
When it comes down to it, I never actually leave him. There have been times when he has done things that hurt me (more than a few, actually), but I always forgive him, because at those times it seems like just dumping him would be an easy way out and we both still cared about each other, so why break up? It's weird though. Things are going perfectly fine in our relationship right now. He has finally realized that he must make changes, and I have accepted his faults. (I'm not saying I don’t have any or anything, it was just that his were majorly getting in the way of our relationship) I really want to be here now that things are finally good.
Basically, I love being with him. I don’t know why I feel the need to analyze all this shit when really, when I’m with him, we’re both happy and that’s all that should matter. I know this. I should stop thinking about him, live my life during the week and then when I see him, be full of my love
We’re so weird. When we first see each other after being away for a while, we will act like we don’t even know each other. People probably don’t even realize that we’re all that serious of a couple, because when we’re in public, we either don’t talk, or joke around like we’re best friends. When we’re in private though…we both know how much we love each other and are so lucky to have found each other. Nothing is more comfortable than being in his arms.
Posted: 11/7/2005, 11:44 am
Whoa dear.
Just remember, love is never a fairy tale no matter what they tell you. If you can look at the things that bug you about him and you still love him despite the way it pisses you off when he wants to hang w/ the guys, then it's love. Being in a relationship is about being mutually dependent. So he should need you as much as you need him, but remember he might show it in a different way. Guys suck at that. My Dad for example, he pretty much won't even admit to himself how much he needs my mother, but I know he is the most sensitive guy that needs her more than anything.
Hm.
Will this ever develop into a relationship?
Just remember, love is never a fairy tale no matter what they tell you. If you can look at the things that bug you about him and you still love him despite the way it pisses you off when he wants to hang w/ the guys, then it's love. Being in a relationship is about being mutually dependent. So he should need you as much as you need him, but remember he might show it in a different way. Guys suck at that. My Dad for example, he pretty much won't even admit to himself how much he needs my mother, but I know he is the most sensitive guy that needs her more than anything.
Hm.
Will this ever develop into a relationship?
Posted: 11/8/2005, 1:57 am
It's not the relationship, and it's not him, because both of those things are great right now. It's me and not understanding my own emotions. Obviously the fact that I wrote so many rediculously long posts is proof that I'm not just, meh, over him. At the same time, I could completely imagine just walking away, but I don't understand why! It doesn't make any sense to me.
I'm so fucked up. Seriously, wtf.
I'm so fucked up. Seriously, wtf.