Posted: 6/5/2004, 10:37 pm
I really like that one. 
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pouring out your soul
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Posted: 6/7/2004, 3:27 pm
thanks; it's one of my all time faves I've ever put together. GOD I wish I could play guitar!!
Posted: 6/10/2004, 2:21 pm
"fledgeling like a leaf"
I like to think I have a chance,
for it helps my fragile ego
to make it through this dance,
and never let this go
I'm fledgeling like a leaf,
lost out upon the wind
filled so high with grief,
without a place to send
I've gone and lost my fate,
for it's been thrown asunder
and it's always been to late,
to hear that roll of thunder
the pale old moon still shines,
just as blue as my heart beats
and I know the truth can't lie,
as my soul stands to leap
I've lost my dear bemusement,
never missed until it's gone
and by myself I'll ruin it,
just wait it won't be long
I like to think I have a chance,
for it helps my fragile ego
to make it through this dance,
and never let this go
I'm fledgeling like a leaf,
lost out upon the wind
filled so high with grief,
without a place to send
I've gone and lost my fate,
for it's been thrown asunder
and it's always been to late,
to hear that roll of thunder
the pale old moon still shines,
just as blue as my heart beats
and I know the truth can't lie,
as my soul stands to leap
I've lost my dear bemusement,
never missed until it's gone
and by myself I'll ruin it,
just wait it won't be long
Posted: 6/10/2004, 2:36 pm
I like that one 
Posted: 6/10/2004, 9:33 pm
thank ya
Posted: 6/13/2004, 3:07 pm
"my only real place"
I have a yearning as real,
as the ocean is vast
just fill me Lord,
let it forever last
my only real place,
is down on my knees
when I'm praying for you,
to save me please
always hold me up,
never let me go
with you in me,
I can be this strong
my only real place,
is down on my knees
when I'm praying for you,
to save me please
it's where I can find myself,
and where I learned my lessons
keep me there forever,
forever in your presence
my only real place,
is down on my knees
when I'm praying for you,
to save me please
and with every breath you give me,
I'll praise you 'till the end
it's taken long enough,
but Lord I finally understand
I have a yearning as real,
as the ocean is vast
just fill me Lord,
let it forever last
my only real place,
is down on my knees
when I'm praying for you,
to save me please
always hold me up,
never let me go
with you in me,
I can be this strong
my only real place,
is down on my knees
when I'm praying for you,
to save me please
it's where I can find myself,
and where I learned my lessons
keep me there forever,
forever in your presence
my only real place,
is down on my knees
when I'm praying for you,
to save me please
and with every breath you give me,
I'll praise you 'till the end
it's taken long enough,
but Lord I finally understand
Posted: 6/16/2004, 8:26 pm
wrote this at work today, dug it...
"to know the sky's still there"
I look up at the stars,
just to know the sky's still there
in the blackness I find console,
upon my back I only stare
laid out upon this picnic table,
like a blanket in the grass
I could lay out here forever,
but daylight shines so fast
clouds fade out from this monologue,
of picture, sound, and fury
written on eternity,
while on our ways we scurry
it's funny that for me,
peace is only found above
and only one thing in this world,
has made me fall in love
but like the night sky lingers,
it was out of my control
missed my chance for lack of having,
by accident my heart was stole
"to know the sky's still there"
I look up at the stars,
just to know the sky's still there
in the blackness I find console,
upon my back I only stare
laid out upon this picnic table,
like a blanket in the grass
I could lay out here forever,
but daylight shines so fast
clouds fade out from this monologue,
of picture, sound, and fury
written on eternity,
while on our ways we scurry
it's funny that for me,
peace is only found above
and only one thing in this world,
has made me fall in love
but like the night sky lingers,
it was out of my control
missed my chance for lack of having,
by accident my heart was stole
Posted: 6/17/2004, 10:20 pm
"happy in my sadness"
I can feel so old,
but I'm still so naive
never knowing what to say,
for you to take me, please
in these short years,
there's enough pain for it all
but there's so much more to come,
and miles farther down to fall
it'll be worth it in the end,
but by the end what will be left
a pale shadow of this way,
a hollow shell filled so bereft
just falling over myself,
so I can fall again for you
don't think the end ever comes,
without one thing different I would do
happy in my sadness,
anything for you works out just fine
it's better than feeling nothing,
but it's still something I can't define
I can feel so old,
but I'm still so naive
never knowing what to say,
for you to take me, please
in these short years,
there's enough pain for it all
but there's so much more to come,
and miles farther down to fall
it'll be worth it in the end,
but by the end what will be left
a pale shadow of this way,
a hollow shell filled so bereft
just falling over myself,
so I can fall again for you
don't think the end ever comes,
without one thing different I would do
happy in my sadness,
anything for you works out just fine
it's better than feeling nothing,
but it's still something I can't define
Posted: 6/20/2004, 7:20 pm
"standing at the door"
standing at the door,
just standing at the door
wishing I could tell you,
all the things I can't explore
in my head I walk on over,
and things go just as planned
we live happily ever after,
and I never stumble this romance
I wish this could be sure,
when I come to you're already gone
and i'm still standing at the door,
just standing at the door
........
"this grand gesture"
reaching to the treetops,
your grace soars far above
a brilliance in the clouds,
of passion and of love
with this grand gesture,
Lord you saved my all
you gave me reason to be,
and caught me from this fall
stumbling down so hard,
and always hitting ground
only 'till I found you,
did the fall finally slow down
brighter than the brightest star,
the world finally pales
when placed alongside you Lord,
how could anything else prevail
you've come into my heart,
and with you brought this light
that'll always shine inside me,
and will always shine so bright
Lord you give me so much more,
than I could ever hope to earn
and with you alive in me,
everything is gonna turn
a joy that's so fulfilling,
more than I could ever hope to find
streaming out of me so full,
my God you've been so kind
your glory is so amazing,
and I'm caught up in rejoice
the greatest thing I've ever done,
was when I made this choice
.........
"with just your barefeet"
sprawled out underneath the stars,
the only time my life makes sense
couldn't count if I tried forever,
better just hold on to suspense
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to feel the grass below
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to let all of this go
the pavement so barely warm,
glows from the sun all day
even in the dark I feel it,
a thing no chill could take away
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to feel the grass below
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to let all of this go
it's creeping into morning hours,
I'll sleep tomorrow, there's always time
I think I'll make it another day,
and with luck all this lifetime
........
"fledgeling like a leaf"
I like to think I have a chance,
for it helps my fragile ego
to make it through this dance,
and never let this go
I'm fledgeling like a leaf,
lost out upon the wind
filled so high with grief,
without a place to send
I've gone and lost my fate,
for it's been thrown asunder
and it's always been to late,
to hear this roll of thunder
the pale old moon still shines,
just as blue as my heart beats
and I know the truth can't lie,
as my soul stands to leap
I've lost my dear bemusement,
never missed until it's gone
and by myself I'll ruin it,
just wait it won't be long
standing at the door,
just standing at the door
wishing I could tell you,
all the things I can't explore
in my head I walk on over,
and things go just as planned
we live happily ever after,
and I never stumble this romance
I wish this could be sure,
when I come to you're already gone
and i'm still standing at the door,
just standing at the door
........
"this grand gesture"
reaching to the treetops,
your grace soars far above
a brilliance in the clouds,
of passion and of love
with this grand gesture,
Lord you saved my all
you gave me reason to be,
and caught me from this fall
stumbling down so hard,
and always hitting ground
only 'till I found you,
did the fall finally slow down
brighter than the brightest star,
the world finally pales
when placed alongside you Lord,
how could anything else prevail
you've come into my heart,
and with you brought this light
that'll always shine inside me,
and will always shine so bright
Lord you give me so much more,
than I could ever hope to earn
and with you alive in me,
everything is gonna turn
a joy that's so fulfilling,
more than I could ever hope to find
streaming out of me so full,
my God you've been so kind
your glory is so amazing,
and I'm caught up in rejoice
the greatest thing I've ever done,
was when I made this choice
.........
"with just your barefeet"
sprawled out underneath the stars,
the only time my life makes sense
couldn't count if I tried forever,
better just hold on to suspense
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to feel the grass below
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to let all of this go
the pavement so barely warm,
glows from the sun all day
even in the dark I feel it,
a thing no chill could take away
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to feel the grass below
walk outside with just your bare feet,
just to let all of this go
it's creeping into morning hours,
I'll sleep tomorrow, there's always time
I think I'll make it another day,
and with luck all this lifetime
........
"fledgeling like a leaf"
I like to think I have a chance,
for it helps my fragile ego
to make it through this dance,
and never let this go
I'm fledgeling like a leaf,
lost out upon the wind
filled so high with grief,
without a place to send
I've gone and lost my fate,
for it's been thrown asunder
and it's always been to late,
to hear this roll of thunder
the pale old moon still shines,
just as blue as my heart beats
and I know the truth can't lie,
as my soul stands to leap
I've lost my dear bemusement,
never missed until it's gone
and by myself I'll ruin it,
just wait it won't be long
Posted: 6/26/2004, 1:36 am
Holy crap these are so good 
Posted: 6/27/2004, 9:56 pm
thanks!
Posted: 6/27/2004, 10:03 pm
"fallen leaves"
fallen leaves
hitting ground
finding places
I haven't found
landing hard
with fury free
in all the spaces
I can't reach
maybe there
is where it lies
where my happiness
has come to hide
...
"every day the rain"
my life has found it's autumn,
without this pain
the sun still shines
all life has ceased to move,
every day it rains
there's too much time
...
"a vestige of peace"
they come so few
now, a vestige of
peace in our
ohh so fervent world
lost out among the
stars, with a pleasant
view down upon us
trying to live
so scared of what might
happen, consequence
weighing down so that
it subdues chance
but the clocks keep
ticking, and time
runs faster as more
days pass me by
...
"I haven't found"
the sky's falling
down around me,
as all my walls crash
to the ground
and all I can
think of saving,
is the thing
I haven't found
...
"a grey slate of forever"
rains falling from the sky,
a grey slate of forever
it was sunny not too long ago,
just like my lost endeavor
about to give up finally,
at least I fought the good fight
I didn't triumph in the end,
how could this ever be right
filled so much with everything,
depth that reaches to the sky
but all you see is what I show you,
why can't I take you up that high?
now the sky starts to clear up,
there's not a cloud left in the blue
and ven when I look to heaven,
all I can see is you
...
"another journal"
it's all just ceaseless monologue,
but nothing ever changes
and you don't even hear me,
whisper all the things I can't say
a thousand speeches written,
somewhere deep inside my head
and everytime I read them,
this nothing comes out instead
how I wish I could just say them,
but then I know it would all change
sadly not for the better,
I think good's outside my range
I don't think I can do this anymore,
but everyday I get back in
always hoping that tomorrow,
is a fight that I can win
filling notebooks full of feelings,
I don't even know why I feel
looks like I need another journal,
with more pages for my soul to heal
fallen leaves
hitting ground
finding places
I haven't found
landing hard
with fury free
in all the spaces
I can't reach
maybe there
is where it lies
where my happiness
has come to hide
...
"every day the rain"
my life has found it's autumn,
without this pain
the sun still shines
all life has ceased to move,
every day it rains
there's too much time
...
"a vestige of peace"
they come so few
now, a vestige of
peace in our
ohh so fervent world
lost out among the
stars, with a pleasant
view down upon us
trying to live
so scared of what might
happen, consequence
weighing down so that
it subdues chance
but the clocks keep
ticking, and time
runs faster as more
days pass me by
...
"I haven't found"
the sky's falling
down around me,
as all my walls crash
to the ground
and all I can
think of saving,
is the thing
I haven't found
...
"a grey slate of forever"
rains falling from the sky,
a grey slate of forever
it was sunny not too long ago,
just like my lost endeavor
about to give up finally,
at least I fought the good fight
I didn't triumph in the end,
how could this ever be right
filled so much with everything,
depth that reaches to the sky
but all you see is what I show you,
why can't I take you up that high?
now the sky starts to clear up,
there's not a cloud left in the blue
and ven when I look to heaven,
all I can see is you
...
"another journal"
it's all just ceaseless monologue,
but nothing ever changes
and you don't even hear me,
whisper all the things I can't say
a thousand speeches written,
somewhere deep inside my head
and everytime I read them,
this nothing comes out instead
how I wish I could just say them,
but then I know it would all change
sadly not for the better,
I think good's outside my range
I don't think I can do this anymore,
but everyday I get back in
always hoping that tomorrow,
is a fight that I can win
filling notebooks full of feelings,
I don't even know why I feel
looks like I need another journal,
with more pages for my soul to heal
Posted: 7/1/2004, 10:59 pm
"the pretension that we wear"
sweet words to mask the truth,
hiding behind this eloquence
it's as fleeting as the breeze,
soon gone away in transience
you can tell a lie so beautiful,
but that'll never make it real
just feigning without insight,
on all the things we feel
page upon page written,
when read not a thing is found
a library full of nothing,
unnerving noise, but no sound
'meaning' lost to 'language',
to most the price seems fair
hollow words and nothing more,
the pretension that we wear
sweet words to mask the truth,
hiding behind this eloquence
it's as fleeting as the breeze,
soon gone away in transience
you can tell a lie so beautiful,
but that'll never make it real
just feigning without insight,
on all the things we feel
page upon page written,
when read not a thing is found
a library full of nothing,
unnerving noise, but no sound
'meaning' lost to 'language',
to most the price seems fair
hollow words and nothing more,
the pretension that we wear
Posted: 7/2/2004, 1:24 pm
hey thats good, i like it 
Posted: 7/2/2004, 5:34 pm
thank ya; wrote this today...
"as the compass needle spins"
this rope is pulled each way,
and with every tug that's made
I lose my grip a little more,
as my grasp just fades away
they may think I'm flying,
can't see the tears I'm crying
just losing all I adore,
if only I could keep trying
as the compass needle spins,
it's never me that wins
losing what's at my core,
as this burns out of my lens
"as the compass needle spins"
this rope is pulled each way,
and with every tug that's made
I lose my grip a little more,
as my grasp just fades away
they may think I'm flying,
can't see the tears I'm crying
just losing all I adore,
if only I could keep trying
as the compass needle spins,
it's never me that wins
losing what's at my core,
as this burns out of my lens
Posted: 7/2/2004, 5:37 pm
very good
Posted: 7/2/2004, 5:42 pm
"follow the leader"
you've come to know forgiveness,
but all I bear are my regrets
the things I can't pay back,
a life's laundry list of debts
coping with the decisions,
I made without thinking ahead
the consequences I've faced,
following where my heart led
thought if I followed the leader,
I could get to where I need
all I found was more pain,
and this now regreted deed
you've come to know forgiveness,
but all I bear are my regrets
the things I can't pay back,
a life's laundry list of debts
coping with the decisions,
I made without thinking ahead
the consequences I've faced,
following where my heart led
thought if I followed the leader,
I could get to where I need
all I found was more pain,
and this now regreted deed
Posted: 7/26/2004, 7:54 pm
"life's river flows through stages"
the pedestal has fallen,
my life was once so epic
all that lies now on the ground,
this waking dream too intimate
deatached empathy never there,
my composure now long gone
but my empathy I have found,
as I'm left here so withdrawn
dear friends gone but still so close,
trapped in their shadows growing darker
karma reaping what I've sewn,
this threefold grows much starker
life's river flows through stages,
and I'm here in the shallow end
just waiting for my river to widen,
but now my happiness is to pretend
the pedestal has fallen,
my life was once so epic
all that lies now on the ground,
this waking dream too intimate
deatached empathy never there,
my composure now long gone
but my empathy I have found,
as I'm left here so withdrawn
dear friends gone but still so close,
trapped in their shadows growing darker
karma reaping what I've sewn,
this threefold grows much starker
life's river flows through stages,
and I'm here in the shallow end
just waiting for my river to widen,
but now my happiness is to pretend
Posted: 7/27/2004, 9:38 pm
"the tables filled around me"
the tables filled around,
no empty seat for me
I come around to rest,
with nowhere else to be
I faded away a while,
coming back will be the trick
my place has changed so fast,
I can't find my place to fit
the decision in me so hard,
it stands here barely made
and all I can do is try,
to make it another day
the tables filled around,
no empty seat for me
I come around to rest,
with nowhere else to be
I faded away a while,
coming back will be the trick
my place has changed so fast,
I can't find my place to fit
the decision in me so hard,
it stands here barely made
and all I can do is try,
to make it another day
Posted: 7/28/2004, 9:02 pm
"below the surface"
so much rests below the surface,
all I wish to do is break the ground
to make it to a place that's real,
the place where I can find the sound
this pity friendship so patronizing,
if only everything could be said
all the things that will lie unspoken,
the scene plays a thousand times in my head
she's too kind to just let me fall,
but doesn't feel enough to catch me
so I'll just linger here suspended,
for the world to never see
so much rests below the surface,
all I wish to do is break the ground
to make it to a place that's real,
the place where I can find the sound
this pity friendship so patronizing,
if only everything could be said
all the things that will lie unspoken,
the scene plays a thousand times in my head
she's too kind to just let me fall,
but doesn't feel enough to catch me
so I'll just linger here suspended,
for the world to never see