To do when dating

its4am_isanybodyhome · Post by **its4am_isanybodyhome** » 6/19/2003, 1:20 pm

some people believe you can't fall in love when you are so young, as in 14, but i believe you can...i just wish it was mutual.. :cry:

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 1:21 pm

carnival_7 wrote:sounds exactly like my last relationship except mine was 2 years, you'd think after that long that they wouldn't cheat

For me, after two years it was harder NOT to cheat then at the begining. two years is a long time to be sleeping with the same person, especially when you're only 20 years old.

it's a lot of pressure to put on a person when you're still young and growing. IMO, long term relationships are crazy before you're 25. Because who the hell knows who they are when they're 20 years old? Whose honestly done maturing, and knows enough about how they want their future to be that they can afford to be getting married @ 20, 21, 22 and then expected to say loyal and true for the next 50 years?

it's scary. i never cheated, but there were times when i wanted to.

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 6/19/2003, 1:23 pm

Fuck, I don't believe there is such feeling as love. There's lust, there's co-dependancy, there's having some one to avoid loneliness, but love, it doesn't exist. You think you're in love, but you suffer from one of those three things, and you'll realize after a while of being with that person, it goes away.

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 6/19/2003, 1:25 pm

mosaik wrote:For me, after two years it was harder NOT to cheat then at the begining. two years is a long time to be sleeping with the same person, especially when you're only 20 years old.

after that long you feel that you can trust someone more, but that's usually not the case

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 1:38 pm

i think you can trust them, to a certain degree. It's really hard for me to say anything about your paticular experience because i don't know you or the other parties involved, but for me, coming from the guys perspective, i felt a lot of pressure to stay faithful, and it's when i started finding myself tempted to cheat, that's when i wondered if staying in the relationship was right.

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 6/19/2003, 1:46 pm

well that's good that you were able to realize that and get out of the relationship, too many guys don't do that

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 2:01 pm

that's part of what makes me so frickin' special.

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 6/19/2003, 3:15 pm

sounds like it

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 6/19/2003, 3:28 pm

For Your Lungs Only wrote:Fuck, I don't believe there is such feeling as love. There's lust, there's co-dependancy, there's having some one to avoid loneliness, but love, it doesn't exist. You think you're in love, but you suffer from one of those three things, and you'll realize after a while of being with that person, it goes away.

I don't fall under any of those 3 categories. I don't have a dependency and neither does she, we do depend on eachother but the same can be said about any friends. We don't lust for one another, there isn't that "I wanna jump you" feeling, and neither of us are lonely, we each have ample amounts of friends.

I'm not trying to argue, just saying that not everyone has these tendencies in relationships. I think Valerie summed it up quite well with her post at the bottom of the last page. Some of those things she said fall under the categories you mentionned, but they don't all fall under one.

There is really no definition of love. If you believe you're in it then all the power to you, if you do not believe in it then thats fine as well. How you choose to classify emotions is up to the individual and/or the couple.

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 3:33 pm

J-Neli wrote: We don't lust for one another, there isn't that "I wanna jump you" feeling

you poor guy.

my ex. so hot. wanted her all the time.

why did i break up w/her again?

:Johnathan:

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 6/19/2003, 3:35 pm

mosaik wrote:
J-Neli wrote: We don't lust for one another, there isn't that "I wanna jump you" feeling

you poor guy.

my ex. so hot. wanted her all the time.

why did i break up w/her again?

umm... there's more to relationships than just fucking. I know it's surprising but it is the truth.

curtman16 · Post by **curtman16** » 6/19/2003, 3:36 pm

happeninfish wrote:Whatever you do, don't talk about Full House.

Now that's some funny stuff right there.

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 3:41 pm

J-Neli wrote:umm... there's more to relationships than just fucking. I know it's surprising but it is the truth.

i know there is bud. but sex is a big part of relationships. especially for young folks. there's nothing wrong with me just because my babalicious ex girlfriend turns me on.

it was a good thing for our relationship. it was one of the things that held us together.

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 6/19/2003, 3:43 pm

mosaik wrote:
J-Neli wrote:umm... there's more to relationships than just fucking. I know it's surprising but it is the truth.

i know there is bud. but sex is a big part of relationships. especially for young folks. there's nothing wrong with me just because my babalicious ex girlfriend turns me on.

it was a good thing for our relationship. it was one of the things that held us together.

is that a good thing though? for sex to be the foundation of a relationship?

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 3:49 pm

sure. why not? relationships have to be based on something.

i mean, for us, the sex wasn't the reason i got into it and it wasn't the only reason we stayed together. but imagine you and your girlfriend both liked to play monopoly. at first it was just a casual thing, but as time went on you both liked monopoly more and more, and you both got better at it. sure you could play monopoly with other friends, but with your gf it was special and better then all other occurances. when you were playing monopoly, you felt that much closer to her.

monopoly would be holding your relationship together as much as your attraction to her great personality, right?

for us, sex was just something we did in place of other hobbies. it was a great part of our relationship.

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 6/19/2003, 3:49 pm

I don't believe in love, and for the most part, I have no reason to. All women have shown me so far in my dating career is that they are users, liars, and cheaters. Why would I want to commit my emotions and eventually my life to making them happy? Try being shat on by every girl you've dated, and you'll see that love doesn't exist. Sure, women say they love you, but in time their true natures show. You find out why they are with you, be it money, sex, whatever.

I've been dating a girl for the past eight months, and neither of us are in love with the other. Hell, she doesn't even say she likes me. But by not believing in that love tripe, I saved myself from feeling anything for her, and probably saved myself a lot of second-guessing and pain. I know what she wants me for. I have some common interests at her and when it comes to getting her off, she calls me God. So instead of trying to think she likes me for who I am, I see her for what she is and why she spends her time with me. People should just think like me. It saves people from listening to depressing music and whining to anyone that will listen to them. It works. I've been doing it since last October, and for the most part, I've been really happy since.

mosaik · Post by **mosaik** » 6/19/2003, 3:51 pm

well for me, instead of giving up on romantic notions, i just re-prioritzed.

but whatever works for ya. :nod:

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 6/19/2003, 3:55 pm

Well, the women I know and have been seeing over the past 10 months have done nothing to make me believe in romance or whatever. Sure, we're friends and all, we hang out, we have some common hobbies, and all that happy horse shit. But why should I be looking to devote my emotions to some 18 or 19 year old that I am not going to marry? Anyways, these girls don't give me a reason to stay. They like me for certain reasons, and I like them for certain reasons. We're not looking for love, and what we're doing makes us happy. Go us. Anyways, the women I am seeing clearly aren't ready for commitments anyway. Some are stupid, some are immature, some don't want to have sex, whatever. None of them are smart, mature (when necessary), open, or willing to have sex, so they can't have me. That's that.

nelison · Post by **nelison** » 6/19/2003, 3:56 pm

I'm glad I have never had your experiences with females, Alan. I guess maybe I've been lucky, or found the right girls, or I've done something right because I have never felt so bitter towards the opposite sex or love. You can say "oh it'll happen, it happens to everyone" but I have to disagree with that. We choose what type of people we want to be with, and for some reason you just have been unlucky and have chosen the wrong girls. Nothing wrong with that, you live, you learn.

Sufjan Stevens · Post by **Sufjan Stevens** » 6/19/2003, 3:59 pm

People do get lucky and find all the right girls Jim, but think about it this way. With the select few like you that get all the decent girls worthy of my time, that leaves oodles of pieces of shit out there for me to stumble into. Maybe I will find a girl that is worth my time, but until I do, I won't even consider that "love" emotion. Nope, I like that the only person I love is myself, and it will stay that way until I find the right girl.