ClumsyMonkey.net

"Have you ever had that sudden urge, this urge that wont go away, to touch yourself like a virgin."

happeninfish wrote:Also there was one by Cousteau, I think, that was something about how, without death, we would never enjoy life. Twas good.

Doesn't Ray Kurzweil say that?

"Death gives meaning to our lives."

"If humans were meant to use the metric system, we would have been born with 10 fingers and 10 toes." -- Gary Larson

That's great.

"Buy the Acura; buy the Colgate; if you have bad breath, they're not gonna talk to you; if you got pimples, the girl's not gonna fuck you...." (Marilyn Manson, Bowling for Columbine, discussing the impact of the media on America)

I'm reading Macbeth ... so ... hmm ...

“Away and mock the time with fairest show:
False face must hide what the false heart doth show.”
- Macbeth (1.7. 81-82)

I love this play.

"What color do smurfs turn when they're choking?"

"Go sqeeze a turtles head!!!"

"God, Save me from your followers..."

"The world will now Jak..."

"It obvious what this means..theres gonna be loads of fog tonight...."

My favorite quote is from my friend (not that kind of friend either)
"What are fruit flavored condoms used fo.....ohhhhhhh!!!"

There is also

"My favorite animal is steak"
and the ever popular
"A tragity is when someone gets a hangnail. A comedy is when someone falls down a manhole and dies."

Quit breaking down my shitty wall you damn mongolians!!!!

....i said that in my sleep once......

courtesy of my friend's sister...

"I hate ALL fish. Tuna, salmon, liver..."

politics professor: "saskatchewan is a major producer of oil and what else?"
my friend: "corn?"

"A dead atheist is someone who is all dressed up with no place to go."

~ James Duffecy

-----

"Stick to driving a truck, because you'll never make it as a singer."

~ Some guy to Elvis Presley, when Elvis was auditioning for a show or something.

-----

"When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

~ Mariah Carey

And another, which I'm kinda lazy to edit my previous post with:


"How come he (Scott Moffatt) gets to be 'the hot one' and I get lumbered with the title of 'Ye Olde Dumbass'?!"

~ Dave Moffatt

That quote is one of many reasons why I detest Mariah Carey.

wow she really is an idiot

"two little goblins out in the sun down came the gryphon and then there was one"

"Gurggle" this is what my school food says when i stab it with the fork

"only two things melt in the rain sugar and sh!t and your neither so get your ass out here" my grand father to my aunts and mom when they were kids

and my personal favorite
"THOU SHALT NOT KILL REMEMBER?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE EHLL KIND OF A PREIST ARE YOU ANYWAYS!?!?!!!"
vash to wolfwood

"what you can change never lasts"

"Beauty is sad. Not sad as in it makes you sad, but sad because most who want it, most who go to extremes for it, already have it."

That quote is in my MSN profile.

That's a nice one. I like that.

"Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther..... And one fine morning- "

"I'm too old to lie to myself and call it honor"

"Don't see some men as half empty...see them as half full of shit"

Oh and "Bob, bob had bitch tits" heh. But Fight Club really has a ton of great quotes.

*Never go to bed mad. Stay awake all night and plot horrible REVENGE!!!! (Vince Lewonski)