ClumsyMonkey.net

Random Name wrote:

beautiful liar wrote:so i'm a cheat.
and i dont even remember it.
but the boy...it was his first kiss apparently.
and i have no idea what else we did
i'm a horrible person.

You're not horrible. Not at all.
Don't beat yourself up for something that's not worth it.

thanks. i'm just not sure what to do about this whole situation
i mean...i woke up naked next to my best friend
who's never had a girlfriend
had never been kissed
and i've betrayed the man i do love. i dont know what to think.
i dont know what he'll think.
i dont know what to do about my friend either.
this is shitty. i'm a whore.

I don't like being in relationships and doing things with boys as boyfriends AT ALL. The first time when I was in love and all that, sure, but I think now its a super waste of time. And also I feel suffocated. It's nice just to have a relationship based on physical attraction without all the emotional crap.

beautiful liar wrote:thanks. i'm just not sure what to do about this whole situation
i mean...i woke up naked next to my best friend
who's never had a girlfriend
had never been kissed
and i've betrayed the man i do love. i dont know what to think.
i dont know what he'll think.
i dont know what to do about my friend either.
this is shitty. i'm a whore.

You're not a whore. Things happen and unfortunately sometimes it's not really that great.. I'd talk to your friend about it, like i'm trying to imagine myself in his shoes and if i woke up to my best friend in that situation i'd feel really ashamed and just as bad.. You don't even have to bring it up directly, just talking to him and letting him know you don't hate him for it will mean the world to him. Just basically let him know how you feel and find out how he feels and then work from there.

I did kind of the same thing. While I was going out with my current boyfriend, I kissed my best friend. It was a weird situation where we were both drunk and he told me a secret that made me see him in a new way, and I kissed him because I really do love him, in a friend-type way. This was in June. I told Harley on saturday.

thirdhour wrote: I spend most of the night waiting for him to call. He calls at 10, says he's hanging out with some friends and he'll call me when he gets home. Never calls. And, as I later find out, never came home.

In summary, he chose to spend the last night I could have had with him (he's moving to Vancouver in a week) with his friends rather than with me. AND doesn't bother to tell me about it, so I wasted my night.

FUCK.

Same thing happened AGAIN, except this time it was the first night he was back in town after moving back. Seriously, I don't understand. He spends the past week calling me, telling me how much he misses me and how he can't wait to see me again, and then he has the oppurtunity and straight up passes it up, knowing quite well how much it will hurt me.

The thing is, when he fucks up like this, I can either let him walk all over me, and then things are good again, or I can get pissed and then instead of him realizing that he fucked up and trying to make it up, he'll get pissed, and then we'll just end up being all sarcastic and distant.

So, in summary, there is NO way i can win.

You could not get pissed, and just tell him calmy how much he hurts you when he does that. Would that work?

nope. if i react with anger, he responds with anger. if i respond with sadness, he either doesn't realize how serious i am and laughs, or gets all down on himself without actually doing anything to fix the problem.

Is there any time that he ever seems to listen to you?

occasionally, if we're having a really serious conversation about something that doesn't have to do with him being at fault for something. at those times, it seems to click that he's hurt me. other than that, it just doesn't seem to register. seriously, i think he's got somthing wrong with him that doesn't allow him to recognize the emotions of others if they have anything to do with him causing them.

I'm sorry. Maybe he just doesn't want to believe that he's cauing you harm, so he denies it, and won't hear it.

*sigh* Maybe.

Thanks for listenening man.

Anytime, listening is pretty much what I try to do.

men are oblivious poopyfaces.
well...in my experience, anyway.
one day, i will find one that's not. because i know there are some out there.

I'm lonely

me too. very.
it's hard to adjust to living on your own, while having a boyfriend to suddenly going to living alone without a boyfriend, when you've never lived alone and been single.

uh. i don't make sense to myself.

Thats the thing, I've never been in a relationship. So, I don't know what its like and yet, its the thing I want the most in my life.

laurel wrote:me too. very.
it's hard to adjust to living on your own, while having a boyfriend to suddenly going to living alone without a boyfriend, when you've never lived alone and been single.

uh. i don't make sense to myself.

It's alright Miss Laurel, to be honest, I've never even had a boyfriend!

Chanandler Bong wrote:Thats the thing, I've never been in a relationship. So, I don't know what its like and yet, its the thing I want the most in my life.

you know...you think you're lonely before you've ever had a relationship.
you really learn what lonely is after you've gotten out of a long, serious relationship and realize that the person you're used to seeing everyday is gone, and you don't have that support. in my case, i also realized that way too many of my friends were actually his friends...so i feel like i've lost a bunch of them too.
i dunno. it sucks.

but i'm not saying your loneliness is anything like mine, or any less than mine. i'm trying to say...there's...uh..a...uh..shit. i dug myself a hole.
i'm still posting this to try to convey a sense of what i'm feeling. ignore it as a reply to your post.

woo.