More Kerri originals... I think she needs her own thread
It's long so i'll break it up.
Planning For Pride
kerri: still coming on the 18th?
alex: i was just about to ask that
kerri: if not then, the weekend after is Pride, which is quite a riot
alex: ohhhhhhhh that sounds like fun
alex: maybe we should do that?
kerri: sounds good.
alex: is that sat. the 25th?
kerri: works better with my school schedule, I realize
alex: you realize people will probably think we're together
kerri: yep. the actual parade is sunday if you stick around, but there should be laser shows and such on saturday
alex: maybe make the cover of the toronto star
alex: now that would be interestin
kerri: yay!
kerri: "local gays show their pride"
alex: that sounds like an excellent plan
alex: hahahaha
alex: "so which one's the top?"
kerri: if anyone asks I say we begin a hilarious argument about it, smack each other around a bit, etc
alex: damn, that'll get us on CBC!
alex: or muchmusic, at the least
kerri: or that Christian channel
alex: we'll be the center focus of one of those "debates" they have where everyone just agrees with each other
alex: on pain of blasphemy
She Kept Her Condoms In It
kerri: Margaret, who is a big whore, will disapprove
alex: why's that?
alex: shouldn't she be expanding the range of people she can sleep with so she doesn't start repeating?
kerri: you'd think so, but she was pretty tight with those ops bitches who warned us not to miss church on sunday
alex: No kidding? Maybe she was just trying to get at their boyfriends
alex: She seemed to like the innocent type
kerri: it's true
kerri: what a character
alex: that smarties box thing still cracks me up
alex: i maintain that "smarties box" was code name for her crotch
kerri: maybe, but she claimed to be storing an awful lot of stuff in there
alex: well.. i don't think anyone's quite surprised by that
kerri: she's loose in more ways than one
alex: ahahahaha
Sacriligia
kerri: the nice thing about Pride is that you learn it's not just the boys that are all up ons, but also girls!
kerri: and then you feel like even more of a stud
alex: the leather helps too
kerri: if you're into that
alex: i feel i should procure a tricycle
kerri: one of those big, comical, old-timey ones?
alex: that would be awesome
alex: we could ride twosies
kerri: I would have a horn on mine
kerri: and I would accuse people of being carpet-baggers and such
alex: we could hang a big sign on it that says "no lolly-gagging"
kerri: oh fuck, now I really want one
alex: or we could go all ironical and tote a sign reading "god hates fags"
alex: and splash it with fresh jam
kerri: the trouble is most of the population is too stupid to appreciate irony
alex: i won't consider my day complete unless i get a bible thrown at my head
kerri: that's the spirit!
alex:
mom: what happened to your head?
........me: bible!
kerri: i'm sure you have a bible incident weekly
alex: yeah every sunday when i crash the local church
alex: i should devise a special helmet
alex: maybe encorporating some horned theme
The Refreshments
kerri: we will plan this, certainly
kerri: so, mark june 25th on your calendar- gay for a day!
alex: done!
alex: then we need to go for some homosexual-type drinks
alex: what do lesbians prefer?
alex: Tom Collins?
kerri: they seem to go for Budweiser
kerri: and Sol instead of Corona, for some reason
alex: i see you've been doing your research
kerri: I'm all about the queer culture
Dressing The Part
alex: I need to think of some appropriate apparel
alex: brightly coloured plaid
alex: offend the churchies AND the lesbians
kerri: it will be too hot for my tegan and sara hoody, but that does usually impress the ladies
alex: just pair it with leather underwear
kerri: birkenstocks
kerri: actually, I could use new sandals
alex: we can always go shopping
alex: "hi, i need some birkenstocks, yes for the parade, how did you know?"
It's Time To Get Real!
kerri: on the wall behind my desk I have a photo of you giving me the bird, single deuce style
kerri: it reminds me to straighten up and fly right!
alex: i'm a champ all right
kerri: after university we can become life coaches
kerri: shout slogans at people, and charge lots of money
alex: i'll need to invest in some larger teeth
kerri: no, we'll be the tough love kind of life coaches
alex: a texas accent, then?
kerri: that'll work
kerri: it's a bullshit industry but people are idiots
kerri: we'll roll in dough and buy our very own schweizers
alex: we can paint our schweizers in rainbow colours and buzz the parade
kerri: yes, a great way to advertise
alex: and our first book can be titled "You Gon' Done Good"
kerri: followed by "you done good- kep it up!"
alex: with two young black females holding hands on the cover
alex: market to every group!
P
