ClumsyMonkey.net

i almost got hit by a car today

i have to wear a school id at all times of school now

sarah slean rocks

so does chantal

i'd put on my scuba gear.. my mask, regulatar.. and i'd fall into the tank.. with nary a sound.. maybe with a *spfft* .. and i was under water.. sometimes i'd jump out .. right in front of the window.. when people are expecting a killer whale and they see a human.. they get spooked.. anyway i do that.. well i was in the water this particular day.. and unbeknownst to me, shamu and bartholamew, their relationship had gone stale.. seems i was going in there so much.. and i was looking so good.. shamu took a shining to me.. and their so smart those things you know.. they got all these human emotions.. love.. lust.. green 100 year old eyed jealousy.. bartholamew was LIVID.. unbeknownst to me i cant hear a god damn thing underwater.. he came up.. he was bumping up against me a lot.. with that stale, killer whale, bumping up against someone so pale and frail.. how was i to know the killer whale relationship had gone so stale.. well.. he brushes up to me a couple of times.. his skins like sand paper.. i say "hey man.. hows it going? whats up? whats up? whats going on big fella? what is it? i dont want to steal your mommy and i sure dont want to take the place of your daddy.. i only want to be your friend" .. and then.. he circled around.. and i thought we were all patched up and i was scrubbing and he took my.. he came up.. he came upto me.. and he.. he ripped my left arm off.. and and.. i mean.. and killer whales are the beast of the deep.. i mean.. theyre quite docile and free in captivity.. but somewhere along the line thousands of years of breeding snapped and he took my left arm man.. he took my fucking left arm man

^ Holy shit. If anyone actually reads all that.. I commend you.

Don't look at me like I don't have pants on.

I made a kick ass batch off cookies tonight

vulva

clumsychild_ wrote:^ Holy shit. If anyone actually reads all that.. I commend you.

if anyone reads it and knows where its from i commend them a hell of a lot more




hmm all that clapping made me think of sean paul
so

make it

If I had a million dollars, I'd do...nothing.

all the christmas oranges are gone

you and i should have a talk
about the birds and the bees
and the wiggles in my knees

I wish i could fly

flowers smell pretty

Is it so wrong to want to stay home and sleep?

I am covered in chalk, and I haven't taken a shower in 4 days. i need to clean my room, take out the garbage, clean the kitty litter box out, take a shower, do the laundry, and go to a friend's birthday party in 20 minutes.

I love procrastination.

I'm so hungry I could eat this desk.

I'm so hungry I could eat out Susan

I so did not need to know that.

I never knew that cleaning could be so much fun