Posted: 4/8/2005, 5:19 pm
What's the matter Claire?
why?ClumsyMonkey.net
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The Dom, Claire, Rusty n' Emily Thread
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Posted: 4/10/2005, 8:54 am
why?Posted: 4/10/2005, 9:05 am
eurrrgh i haven't been here in a while.
so i'll post this picture.
so i'll post this picture.
Posted: 4/10/2005, 12:54 pm
Sweet.Posted: 4/10/2005, 9:11 pm
Fuck. Fucking piece of fucking shit, fuck this fuck fuckity FUCK! Where the fuck did that fucking fuck thread go?! FUCK!
Posted: 4/10/2005, 9:21 pm
i agree.
Posted: 4/10/2005, 9:30 pm
so i've done fuckall this weekend. and i'm not going to do anything. brett (not cm brett) was right about me burning out. i feel incapable. but right now i'm takin comfort in the smell of weed that i didnt smoke but seem to have a buzz hanging around from the secondhand inhalation. i love the smell of good pot. im shooting myself in hte foot, but i'm so freakin stressed. it's okay. i think i might drop AP history. i can't do everything, and i'll get plenty of history courses anyways. i dunno. *sigh* i'm so tired.
Posted: 4/11/2005, 5:17 pm
Well this week went straight to hell.
Posted: 4/17/2005, 9:10 pm
A writer's life
is not romantic.
It does not bring
unspeakable joy;
nor does it
unfurl tragically
with wistful loves
and clinging hopes.
Misrepresented
as something
desirable,
a writer's life
is pain;
unquenchable,
untouchable,
unsoluable
pain.
Writing
is a form of torture
edged on by a quiet
blaring masochism.
It is a hated addiction,
a compelling conviction,
vomiting and bleeding
all over
a page
in order
to feel
anything
at
all.
A writer's life
is unchosen,
self-infliction
imposed
by the junkie
dragons lurking
beneath uncertain
skin.
Self-absorbtion
follows inevitably,
incessantly,
a quest
for freedom
unfounded,
unfiltered,
unfettered,
by the increasing
need for more and more and
more;
going deeper
and deeper
(feel it digging
and reaching
and scraping below;
black tentacles
pushing inwards)
than ever before.
Tie it off,
shoot it up,
and let the ink
flow through
veins;
stained blood
passing through
thrust onwards
and over
and through
the circuit
as it paints
the inside
black; washing,
contaminating,
simultaniously
cleansing
as it flows back out
onto
the page.
A writer's life
is no kind of living at all.
is not romantic.
It does not bring
unspeakable joy;
nor does it
unfurl tragically
with wistful loves
and clinging hopes.
Misrepresented
as something
desirable,
a writer's life
is pain;
unquenchable,
untouchable,
unsoluable
pain.
Writing
is a form of torture
edged on by a quiet
blaring masochism.
It is a hated addiction,
a compelling conviction,
vomiting and bleeding
all over
a page
in order
to feel
anything
at
all.
A writer's life
is unchosen,
self-infliction
imposed
by the junkie
dragons lurking
beneath uncertain
skin.
Self-absorbtion
follows inevitably,
incessantly,
a quest
for freedom
unfounded,
unfiltered,
unfettered,
by the increasing
need for more and more and
more;
going deeper
and deeper
(feel it digging
and reaching
and scraping below;
black tentacles
pushing inwards)
than ever before.
Tie it off,
shoot it up,
and let the ink
flow through
veins;
stained blood
passing through
thrust onwards
and over
and through
the circuit
as it paints
the inside
black; washing,
contaminating,
simultaniously
cleansing
as it flows back out
onto
the page.
A writer's life
is no kind of living at all.
Posted: 4/18/2005, 1:16 am
...tonight, i died.
and then...i came back to life.
being resurrected leaves you feeling sort of hollow, and weary.
what am i living for?
but what was i dying for?
i should figure that out before i kill myself again.
and then...i came back to life.
being resurrected leaves you feeling sort of hollow, and weary.
what am i living for?
but what was i dying for?
i should figure that out before i kill myself again.
Posted: 4/18/2005, 5:38 pm
Some good writing there.
Posted: 4/18/2005, 5:41 pm
So this is how my month has gone:
1) Best friends parents get divorced.
2) Sister's roommate becomes total bitch and upsets my sister.
3) Acquantances(sp) mother dies.
4) Grandmothers very good friend becomes very ill, will die soon.
5) Dad's friend dies.
What a lovely month April is.
1) Best friends parents get divorced.
2) Sister's roommate becomes total bitch and upsets my sister.
3) Acquantances(sp) mother dies.
4) Grandmothers very good friend becomes very ill, will die soon.
5) Dad's friend dies.
What a lovely month April is.
Posted: 4/24/2005, 12:50 am
can't sleep.
oi. after 1 night of good sleep, i can never sleep the next night. no wonder i'm always tired.
oi. after 1 night of good sleep, i can never sleep the next night. no wonder i'm always tired.
Posted: 4/24/2005, 1:26 pm
Poor Claire.
Posted: 4/26/2005, 9:48 pm
BOYS are SO FRUSTRATING!
the guy i like says he wont go out with me becuase he feels like the big bad wolf and i'm like little red riding hood, according to him he's old and broken and i'm young and fragile.
he's so sweet, but it's like being repeatedly stabbed. he's wonderful, and i want to beat him up because of it.
the guy i like says he wont go out with me becuase he feels like the big bad wolf and i'm like little red riding hood, according to him he's old and broken and i'm young and fragile.
he's so sweet, but it's like being repeatedly stabbed. he's wonderful, and i want to beat him up because of it.
Posted: 4/27/2005, 7:32 pm
Awww, you're getting closer to it. Just keep explaining to him that you're old enough and mature enough to make your own decisions. He'll come around soon enough.
Posted: 4/27/2005, 8:17 pm
i hopes so!
Posted: 4/27/2005, 9:41 pm
i am WAYYY too hyper.
too much excitement for claire today!
too much excitement for claire today!
Posted: 4/30/2005, 12:04 pm
i have to go in and tell my boss i'm not going to be at work next saturday.
and find someone to cover me.
im scared :\
and find someone to cover me.
im scared :\
Posted: 4/30/2005, 12:48 pm
calling out is always easier then doing that!