THE DISAPPEARANCE OF RAINE

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 3:53 pm

MTV NEWS
THis is KURT LODER AGAIN>
the demise of BASSIST DUNCAN COUTTS has been false. We now have comfirm reports that the CN tower was a hoax. The whereabouts of the kidnappers and Raine still seem to baffle even the experts. We have herd word that they are bringing in experts who have dealt with this before.

joe_canadian · Post by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 3:54 pm

Bradford How: We have an update! The legendary OLP bassist is apparently imbued with freakish-alien-regeneration powers, and is in perfect health after a messy couple minutes! Though he could not regenerate his clothes, and now joins OLP guitarist Steve Mazur in running around the streets of TO stark naked. Bassists everywhere wince, and rejoice.

Xavier870 · Post by **Xavier870** » 10/3/2002, 3:55 pm

^ Gay men everywhere run to Toronto.

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 3:55 pm

joe_canadian wrote:News Reporter: We have an update! The legendary OLP bassist is apparently imbued with freakish-alien-regeneration powers, and is in perfect health after a messy couple minutes! Though he could not regenerate his clothes, and now joins OLP guitarist Steve Mazur in running around the streets of TO stark naked. Bassists everywhere wince, and rejoice.

HEy JOE who you working for.
ou must idenify yourself. :lol:

liam · Post by **liam** » 10/3/2002, 3:56 pm

Hey This is Christins Applegate here, i have nothing to do with this but... i bet they're hiding him in the waitroom of his doctors office

Lori: Shit we gotta get him some place else,

(OTHER KIDNAPPER: yeah before chantal gets here!

joe_canadian · Post by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 3:56 pm

The Canadian/American border is clogged with women who universally claim to "just really, really want to see Toronto."

fluttergirl · Post by **fluttergirl** » 10/3/2002, 3:58 pm

This just in! We have intercepted email between the CM babes and their ringleader... none other than the CM webmaster, Al! Apparently Al fancies himself the Charles Manson of the rockstar-kidnapping world and he's holed up in some unknown location, recieving a direct internet feed of the sexual torture of Raine Maida! Webmasters worldwide are beating themselves over the head for not thinking of this first. Back to you, Kurt.

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 3:59 pm

THIS IS GEORGE STMPOULOUS(WHATEVER) and we now have comfirm news of Naked Men running down Queen street in hope sof seeing a barking STEVE MAZUR.
As many of you are aware a little over an hour ago, Lead Singer of OLP was kidnapped by a group of Women and Men who say they are part of the the prestiagious group THE CM. No one can confirm this group at this time and there is very little word coming over the wires. There have been several sighings but nobody has seen Raine except the band and they are trying to work out a deal withthe kidnappers. We hear from unreliable sources they may trade Raine for Steve.

joe_canadian · Post by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 3:59 pm

UltraViolet wrote:
joe_canadian wrote:News Reporter: We have an update! The legendary OLP bassist is apparently imbued with freakish-alien-regeneration powers, and is in perfect health after a messy couple minutes! Though he could not regenerate his clothes, and now joins OLP guitarist Steve Mazur in running around the streets of TO stark naked. Bassists everywhere wince, and rejoice.

HEy JOE who you working for.
ou must idenify yourself.

Huh??

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:03 pm

joe_canadian wrote:
UltraViolet wrote:
joe_canadian wrote:News Reporter: We have an update! The legendary OLP bassist is apparently imbued with freakish-alien-regeneration powers, and is in perfect health after a messy couple minutes! Though he could not regenerate his clothes, and now joins OLP guitarist Steve Mazur in running around the streets of TO stark naked. Bassists everywhere wince, and rejoice.

HEy JOE who you working for.
ou must idenify yourself.

Huh??

I mean idenify yourself as the reporter. I am KURT LODER OR GEORGE STROUMBOULOPOLULOS

joe_canadian · Post by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 4:04 pm

Ohhhh! Okey doke :mrgreen:

....but who?? :freak:

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:06 pm

joe_canadian wrote:Ohhhh! Okey doke

....but who??

Make up a name. Joe from the Toronto Star, sun what ever paper there is, unless you know a real reporter.

superboots · Post by **superboots** » 10/3/2002, 4:06 pm

*Bethany is walking to class*

Sorority Girl from Grosse Pointe: *on cell phone* Like, Oh My God! That guy who sings, what is that song, "Somewhere out Here" you know, the hottie from Canada, he's been....like, KIDNAPPED! A traffic jam on 94? They want to cross the border? Shut up! no, you shut up! *continues to babble*

Bethany: :baaah: Raine? Kidnapped? I must get to the bottom of this! Fuck school....Raine's life is in danger!

*steals bike from some engineer :mrgreen:

rides to the State street exit of I-94 and hitchhikes to Canada*

fluttergirl · Post by **fluttergirl** » 10/3/2002, 4:08 pm

"I'm Kato Caelin, and I'm dying my hair dark brown so I can play Raine Maida in the movie of the week! Eat your heart out, C. Thomas Howell!"

joe_canadian · Post by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 4:08 pm

***The Adventures of Super-Bethany! Protector of all things Raine and Raine-related!***

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:08 pm

this just in from the KIDNAPPERS.
we will never give him back. he is our SEX SLAVE unless you send over that other HOTTIE STEVE MAZUR/.

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:09 pm

fluttergirl wrote:"I'm Kato Caelin, and I'm dying my hair dark brown so I can play Raine Maida in the movie of the week! Eat your heart out, C. Thomas Howell!"

joe_canadian · Post by **joe_canadian** » 10/3/2002, 4:14 pm

*ring*
Jeremy: Yello?
Duncan: Fuck Jer! I'm naked and being hounded by people with cameras and suspicious looking sticks! Bail me out!
Jeremy: Would this involved moving?
Duncan: Yes!!
Jeremy: ...
*click*

*ringringring*
Jeremy: This better be about my beer.
Duncan: I said get me outta this damnit!
Jeremy: Awwww but I don't wannaaa...
Duncan: Do it and I'll hook you up with that Chad Nickeltack fella you adore so much
Jeremy: *pause* To the OLP-mobile!

UltraViolet · Post by **UltraViolet** » 10/3/2002, 4:17 pm

when last seen our Dynamo DUO
Agent Coutts and Agent Taggart were in hot pursuit of some BEER and CHIPS in the OLP-MOBILE.

superboots · Post by **superboots** » 10/3/2002, 4:19 pm

*Bethany arrives in Toronto, finds an internet cafe and views the cm*

Me:

Disappearance of Raine thread??? What is going on? Has all that is good in this world been destroyed!?!?!

Gail: we will never give him back. he is our SEX SLAVE unless you send over that other HOTTIE STEVE MAZUR.

Me: They want Steve, and they haven't called me in on this? :wtf:

I can't believe it! And I'm their Mazurite President!!!!

*Through the wonders of the internet, finds Lori's phone number, and gets the answering machine*

Sorry, I can't come to the phone right now because I am partaking in an OLP abduction, leave me a message!

Me: Where are you? What is going on? I want answers! You can't take kidnap my Stevie and not tell me about it!