ClumsyMonkey.net

Posted: **2/10/2007, 10:03 pm**

Dear Doucheface,
Please vacate immediately.
Sincerely, the Home-Wrecker.

Posted: **2/10/2007, 11:42 pm**

ditto!

Posted: **2/15/2007, 11:03 am**

Dear bitter people,

Stop ruining Valentine's day for the rest of us. Complaining won't get you a date faster.

Love (in the spirit of the holiday),
Andrea

Posted: **2/15/2007, 12:29 pm**

Dear Inner Consciene,

Stop making everything your fault.

Thanks, Annoyed

Posted: **2/22/2007, 6:55 pm**

Dear Conscience,

When you figure out a way to truely help me convey my true feelings, to one certain individual, I'd love for you to let me know.

I'm serious; don't just dwell. Out with it. I'm getting annoyed by this.

Sincerely yours,
The body that you fill space, with.

Posted: **2/27/2007, 2:36 pm**

dear father

i worked a 7 hour shift today. do you know what the worst way to end a 7 hour shift is? waiting for 35 fucking minutes like an idiot after it, because your ride has apparently decided that you're not important enough to be picked up on time or to be even told about it. and then of course, once the ride arrives, there's absolutely no remorse at all about the late arrival, forget apology. "oh, are we late?" I got off at 4, you genius, and it's 4:35 now! what the fuck?!

not so much love, saman

/venting

Posted: **2/27/2007, 3:43 pm**

SAMAN SWEARS!? SINCE WHEN!?

Posted: **2/27/2007, 4:10 pm**

ehe. yeah, my vocabulary becomes slightly colourful when i get really angry. it doesn't happen often, but turns out i am human after all.

Posted: **2/27/2007, 7:32 pm**

you are!?

Posted: **2/27/2007, 7:47 pm**

so it would seem. what can i say, i'm a rebel

Posted: **2/27/2007, 7:50 pm**

You are a rebel AND a human?!!?!

Posted: **2/27/2007, 10:10 pm**

Things just keep getting weirder!

Posted: **2/28/2007, 4:51 pm**

Crap.....I had a feeling things were getting weird.

My hair looks dumb...

Now, Saman is swearing....

I need to go to sleep.

Posted: **2/28/2007, 4:59 pm**

this place is going to pot!

Posted: **2/28/2007, 5:02 pm**

you all think you're soooo funny

Posted: **2/28/2007, 5:33 pm**

dear supervisor at work,

you're cool and all but it would be nice if you'd actually i dunno say something to the people who do NOTHING. it makes the rest of us who actually work look like crap and pisses me off. and no, the store manager shouldn't be the one to say something cause she's not the one who witnesses it every freakin night! grow a pair already!

beyond annoyed,
melissa

Posted: **2/28/2007, 8:00 pm**

Dear Virgin Mobile,

Fuck your douchebag faces and the fact that you do not give my town, service. I'd gladly service your mothers for a small, monthly, fee.

Sincerely yours,
Bitter in NY

Posted: **2/28/2007, 8:37 pm**

zomg neil swore!! :OOOOO

Posted: **2/28/2007, 8:42 pm**

dats sum shockin.

Posted: **3/1/2007, 1:06 am**

Dear weather,

Please make up your mind. Are you winter or are you spring?

ClumsyMonkey.net

Open Letters to People and Things You're Mad At